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HomeMy WebLinkAboutBattalion 1943 MayT P , ' d 4 A 6 M ik R �a Combination of the world's best cigarette tobaccos. For Mildness .. for Better Taste and Cooler Smoking.. make your next pack... RECOGNIZED EVERYWHERE THE CIGARETTE THAT GIVES SMOKERS WHAT THEY WANT 1 " 1 1 T' I 94 Tasncco Co. DON'T HIDE YOUR DOLLARS * ENLIST THEM WITH UNCLE SAM * BUY U. S. WAR BONDS FOR VICTORY Ng S � FgF\E, 0 Volume 43, No. 4 IU A I TA U' O N Fifteen Cents oV. f9{eai can f _Zaugg .94odd J _C)Diliad - -oVz �Xat ( Won't 1.'au94 eSAoufd Be 5 d John Holman, Editor -in -Chief Nelson Karbach, Jr., Magazine Editor Butch Tennyson, Associate Magazine Editor Clyde C. Franklin___. __Senior Assistant Lupey Doud ------ TSCW Correspondent Bob Simpso - -- - _ _____.Art Editor A. C. Hudson ___ ___— ----- Junior Editor Otto Ransleben ____ _---Art Assistant Bill Jarnagin --- _ ------ __ ----- —_ ______.Junior Editor George Schwark_. —Art Assistant Dick Rawley -------- - — .___- ____Junior Editor Lowell Collins___ — ____Art Assistant Reba Lou Weaver_— _______— ___Junior Editor What's Cookin' T his Month... Harbaeh We hate to think that this is the last Bat- talion M a g a- zine until aft- er the war. It's not pleasant to leave knowing that there will be no one be- hind to carry on our work. We've spent tillery, Engineering Corps, Ord- nance, Quartermaster Corps, Air Corps, Submarine Service, and Naval Medical Corps. Besides losing all our staff members, most of the men in the print shop have left. Then too, necessary materials for put- ting out a magazine are needed Evdry bond you buy will shorten the time until we can start giv- ing you a magazine again. We can't put out our last issue without giving special praise to the girls on our staff. They have done fine work and were the only staff members who could be depended on to turn in good copy on time. Lupey Dowd fur- nished our regular monthly fea- ture, "TSCW On Parade." Her column has been good and we have enjoyed working with her. (How about that, Holman?) Reba Lou Weaver, our junior editor from Baylor U., has given us two top - flight stories and has contributed a large percentage of the jokes we have run. Be- sides that, she has done great work in keeping up the general morale of the staff. Thanks, Reba Lou, it's been fun. That just about winds things up. We hope you've enjoyed the magazine as much as we have. As soon as a few Japs and Ger- mans are taught a lesson, the Battalion will be back with its corny stories and dirty jokes. many a sleepless night in front of our typewriter (see cut) work- ing on the magazine, but it's been a lot of fun giving youse guys and gals a magazine. We .look forward to the day when another staff will be able to take over and put out a bigger and better magazine. There just wasn't any alter- native in deciding to suspend publication for the duration. The entire staff is leaving at the end of this semester to do a more important job of beating the Japs. Instead of working on a magazine, the staff will be busy in the Infantry, Field Ar- Contents .. . elsewhere. If losing the Bat- talion Magazine inconveniences you, drop around to your post office and buy a few bonds. WORLD --- __ -_ -- THE MYSTERY OF LORD BACALIVE___— THE CLASS OF 1944____ —_ __— _ ------ ___________. BLOOMER BLITZ_______— ____—______ VANITY FAIR — GOLDIE ROCKS LEAVES HOME —_ ____ BETTY BATTALION - - -- TSCW ON PARADE_ A VIS IT T TEA TOWN —__ —_— ____ 14 16 the Battalion, published monthly by the Student Publications Office of the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas. Entered as second-class matter at the Post Office at College Station, Teas. under the set of Congress. March 8, 1879. subscription rate $l.N per year or 16 cents per copy. Advertising rates upon request. Represented nationally by W. B. Bradbury Company, New York City. Magazine office in Room 6, Administration Building. Telephone 45444. Reprint rights with proper credit, are hereby granted to all regular publications. All stories or articles submitted for pub• lication mast be typewritten, double-spaced, and Wooled to The Battalion Massaine. Colley. Station, Texas. ... we've spent many a night be- fore our typewriter working on the magazine. CORRECT UNIFORMS ... SHIRTS ... SLACKS. SHOES ... SOCKS and TIES for Summer Wear. Allow us to assist you in select- ing your light weight Summer Uniform needs —here you'll find a fine assortment of Regulation Uniforms and equipment. Palm Beach Uniforms Dobbs Dress Caps Reg. Khaki Shirts Chino Khaki Slacks Khaki Uniform Ties Hole -Proof Socks Nunn -Bush ... Nettleton Edgerton and Fortune Shoes. We have just received a ship- ment of Tropical Worsted and Wool Gabardine O'Seas and Dress Service Caps. 1 ! h L r ti "Two Convenient Stores" College Station — Bryan Voice on telephone: What number is this? Other End: You ought to know, you called it, you dope. A penthouse suite is very swell, but some girls want a suite with two pairs of pents. * Dear Dad: Have decided to go to your old fraternity. The boys aren't so hot, but they have plans all made for a new house that will be the best on the campus. Love, Junior Dear Son: Glad you like my fraternity. Grandfather drew those plans when he was in the chapter there, so you can be sure that the house will be a good one. Love, Dad. M "If this lecture has gone over- time, it's only because I haven't my watch and the hall clock has stopped ... " "There's a calendar in back of you." For the modern girl: There's seldom a slip between the gown and the hip. — Ski -U -Mah I suffer in silence A man who hath strayed. I suffer alone Lest by sin be betrayed. That one moment of pleasure Should lead to such pain — Though that second I treasure I swear, ne'er again! But temptation, it comes on. I blindly obey. An onion for luncheon And Sen -Sen ALL DAY. — Mercury "Oh well," grinned the chap who had allowed himself to be talked into joining a nudist col - only, "at least nobody will catch me with my pants down now." El Dr.: To regain your health, you must go for a walk on an empty stomach. He: Where will I find one to walk on? El A Chinaman asked a ticket agent what time the train would leave. The ticket agent replied: "Two- two." The Chinaman said, "I asked when he go, not how he go." * "Betty," said her mother, "every time you are naughty I get another gray hair." "Then," said little Betty, "you must have been a terror; look at Grandma." They call her the village queen because every poker player in town has held her. M He (after long embrace): Ed- na, you simply must get those cavities filled. "Lend me your tux tonight, Jack; I know you aren't going to wear it." "How do you know ?" "Because I'm taking your girl out myself." El "You married me for my money." "Well, I've earned it." "I've stood about enough," said the humorist as they ampu- tated his legs. 2 THE BATTALION A widow is the most fortunate woman in the world. She knows all about men and all the men who know anything about her are dead. pIPLOMq t rcas ��h raur l� �i "Are you the bull of the campus ?" "That's me, baby" "Moo." — Ranger rD YM �IIYOh Seniors, behold your bright future. * King Arthur was talking to one of his knights who was being punished. "Go forth into the world —and catch every bird and bring them back to me on a string. Either that or you marry my daughter. What is your choice ?" "You got any salt ?" —Pup Tent "My heart is with the ocean," cried the poet. "You've gone me one better," said the seasick friend as he took a firmer grasp on the rail. — Wataugan "Why did you marry such a homely man ?" "He asked me." —Widow If you are so unfortunate as to possess a cat Half the time you won't know where the darn thing's at. This creature loves to dilly -dally, Playing "Don Juan" in the alley. The cat's success at having fun Is directly proportional to how fast he can run. —Yellow Jacket A homely girl approached the information desk at the tourist park and asked for a road map. "Here you are," said the clerk. "Well, I hope I don't go wrong," replied the girl. "With that map," retorted the clerk, "you can't possibly." —Pup Tent Blonde Hostess: What would you do if you had five dates with a man and he had never attempted to kiss you? Navy gal: I'd lie about it. — Ranger When Sue returned from a ride, her mother noticed that one of her shoes was muddy. "Why is your right shoe muddy and not your left ?" she asked. "I changed my mind," she answered simply. — Ranger Give me a gal unspoiled and pure, Free from Synthetic Beauty's cure; A girl whose lips of ruby bright Bear not a trace of "Tangee's" blight; Whose brilliant eyes have ever shone And yet have ne'er Mascara known. Give me a girl whose cheeks of rose, Whose dimpled chin, whose piquant nose, Have ne'er that taint of powder felt; A girl who needs no band or belt, Suppressing fat or hiding bone; Who ne'er with Nature's gifts hath dealt, Through some too -well- contrived zone. Give me a girl. Just any old girl. — Record Girls who at kissing look askance Show they've never had a chance. Girls who think it is no sin Show that they'll get kissed again. i� One thing the OPM sadly lacks Is the rear -view mirror for the gals who wear slacks. A woman resident in China remonstrated with her house -boy for taking her linen into her bedroom without knocking. "That all right, Missy," said the native, "every time come, lookee through keyhole. Nothing on, no come in." MAY, 1943 "We aren't going anywhere. We just came along to enjoy your Sir Walter Raleigh" Blended from choice Kentucky burleys, Sir Walter Raleigh is extra mild —burns UNION M cool —with a delightful aroma ail its own. Tr} "thcqualnt p,petobacco ofAmerica." 411111 0111 1110 1 SIR WALTER 1 l "- - RALEIGH r� BUY WAR PIPE TOBACCO, c.. STAMPS Smokes as sweet as it smells Sea Captain: What brings you out to the rail in this kind of weather? Passenger: Oh, I was impelled by something deep within me. He: (as his wife is packing): I really don't think you ought to wear that bathing suit, Hglen. She: But dear, I have to. You know how strict they are at the beaches. M And then there was the stu- dent who wrote: "Virgin wool comes from the sheep that can run the fastest." —Voo Doo Then there was the girl who wore only a cluster of strawber- ries to a fancy dress ball and got herself into a hell of a jam. —Voo Duo Old Lady: Little boy, I wouldn't kick my sister around the street like that if I were you. Little Boy: Oh, it's all right. She's dead. — Spartan That's all right, there's lots more at home. —Widow What's the matter, don't you like blood on your lawn, lady? — Banter She swallow sd my garter snake and I'm going to kill the damn thing. — Spartan Hell, lady, it's only my sister. — Battalion She looked wonderingly at him. There was admiration in her face, yet there was a trace of fear there, too. She watched every move of his hand, and con- centrated on the changing look in his eye. Unconsciously she mumbled, "He must do it—so much depends on him —my very existence here. Oh, he can't let me down." She could only take her eyes off him for a few sec- onds at a time. She knew that soon it would be done. And she looked once more at the boy who was correcting her calculus test. —Voo Doo Jean: Sorry, Jack, but I'm all tied up tonight. Jack: Say, that'll simplify things. I'll be right over. * Hickory, dickory dock! The mice ran up her sock; One stopped at her garter, The other was smarter — Hickory, dickory, dock! Limbs are employed As a concept of Freud; But really the torso Is very much more so. — Lampoon "Is your daughter in tonight ?" "No, get out and stay out!" "But I'm the sheriff!" "Oh, I'm sorry. Come in, I thought that was a Sigma Nu pin." Surgeon to attendant: Get the name of the accident victim so we can tell his mother. Attendant (three minutes la- ter): He says his mother knows his name. it The absent - minded professor drove up to his garage door, looked inside, and blinked. Then he leaped back into his car and drove like hell to the police sta- tion. — Sundial 4 THE BATTALION "So you had a date with an Aggie ?" "No, I tore my dress on a nail." * Smooth Senior: Hello, Jeanie, are you free to- night? Jeanie: No, but I'm reasonable? He: A nice girl shouldn't hold a young man's hand." She: A nice girl has to. "I wish we'd get a few shipwrecked sailors washed ashore," mused the cannibal chief. "What I need is a good dose of salts." —Widow * Advertisement: Eskimo Spitz Pumps for ten dollars apiece. —Satyr * Young Man: Er - - sir - - I - - er - - that is, I came to say that you daughter tells me that she - - er - - loves me. Father: And I suppose you have come to ask permission to marry her? Young Man: No, sir. I came to ask you to make her behave herself. A gorgeous young creature from Venice Who spent all her time playing tennis Played the same rather peeled And the form she revealed Made her court work a masculine menace! Chem 101 tells me that my race (I should have said my body, first) Is made of intervening space, With some electrons interspersed. I do not mind my voidness much, Or using bones for battens, But when I think of love and such — Thank God for those few atoms! First Co -Ed: Jimmy is grand but I think all men are trying sometimes. Second Co -Ed: All the time, dearie, all the time. Here's to short skirts and low necks. May they never meet. Her (in parked car): If you do I'll scream. Him: If I do what? Her: For heaven's sake. Weren't you going to do something? "So your brother is a painter, eh ?" "Yep." "Paints houses, I presume ?" "Nope, paints men and women." "Oh, I see, he's an artist." "Nope, just paints men on one door and women on another." —Covered Wagon I used to love my garden, But now my love is dead; For I found a bachelor button In blackeyed Susan's bed. — Carolinian OH HELL Hostess: I'm so glad you came, Bishop. I was going to send you an invitation, but then I thought, "Oh what th' hell" — Record A: You should have seen Mabel run the half - mile last night. B: What did she run it in? A: I don't know what you call the darn things. sundial "Did she blush when her shoulder strap broke ?" "I didn't notice." — Caveman Chaucer and I wrote a dirty story, Bawdy and lewd from the start; But mine, people said, was phornographic And Chaucer's was classical art. JUNIORS - SENIORS With The Best of Good Wishes — Record Sankey Park JEWELRY Bryan MAY, 1943 WORLD PREMIER When G. Byron Winstead, di- rector of information, wrote his article about the fighting Texas Aggies in one of the May, 1942 issues of Time Magazine, he had no idea that it eventually would lead to a movie about A. & M. But that is Just exactly what did happen, "We've Never Been Tdekari" will tell to the world Just ex- actly what A. & M. has done in peace and war during its 67 years of ex- istence. The tradi- Boone tions, customs, and loyalties of each Aggie to himself, to his fellow Aggies, and above everything else, to his country have been put into the picture so that the Spirit of Aggieland can be shown to the world for the first time when the premier is held on historic Kyle Field. Walter Wanger of Universal Studios was the first to get the idea of producing a movie that would tell of some of the things that a military college has pro- duced in a peace -time world, and in the event of war, the part they play in winning it. Upon reading Winstead's article in Time Magazine, Wanger be- came interested and immediate- ly wrote to President Walton for more information about A. & M. so that the possibilities of pro- ducing a motion picture about the college could be seen. Many letters were exchanged between Dr. Walton, Wanger, and Winstead. Finally on July 30, 1942, Norman Reilly Raine, who was to write the script for the picture, arrived on the cam- pus to do research work and get the natural background needed to convey the Aggie Spirit onto the silver screen. The cadet corps lost no time in inocculating Raine with the `By Sylvester Boone Spirit of Aggieland. As he step- ped off the train he was given the greeting which is tradition- ally held in honor of a returning football team. During his stay, he associated extensively with the Aggies and soon became well acquainted with Aggie life and traditions. The arrival of Wanger on September 11 caused no less ex- citement than did that of Raine. A similar reception was held and a view of night life (as it used to be) was given the pro- ducer. General H. J. Brees, N. L. Leachman, and F. M. Law, as well as Dr. Walton and Win- stead made up the conference committee which conferred on problems of production and the traditions that were to be in- corporated in the picture. Preliminary details of produc- tion were concluded and a title had to be selected. Wanger and his staff at first decided on "Texas A. & M." but that was not exactly what was desired as a title because of various phases of the picture. "We've Never Been Licked" was finally decid- ed upon after much delibera- tion. Contrary to popular belief, it was not selected because of the winning football teams that gave us the mythical national championships in 1939 and 1940. It was decided upon because the United States as a nation has never been defeated in a war. A. & M. as a school has always played a major part in the win- ning of these wars ever since the days of the Spanish Ameri- can War. At the outbreak of the Span- ish American War, the entire military faculty and a majority of the cadet corps left to join Teddy Roosevelt's heroic band of Rough Riders in San Antonio. At the start of World War I, the MAY, 1943 graduating class of 1917 resign- ed to enter the Army and re- ceive their commissions. Dur- ing the present war, A. & M. has already contributed two graduating classes and a great part of its student body to the armed forces. But back to the picture. The crew of 165 actors and actresses came from Hollywood in three groups early in November. Equipment for use in making the picture had arrived ahead of the crew so work was begun at once. For more than a month class work was almost complete- ly forgotten as the corps worked in and watched production. "We've Never Been Licked" with Richard Quine, Martha O'Driscoll, Noah Beery, Jr., and Anne Gwynne in the four lead- ing roles, is a war picture built around Aggieland, its traditions, and the spirit which has made the school famous the country over. The spirit and loyalty shown by Aggies is seen in the picture as the plot developes. Quine, as Brad Craig, is the son of an ex -Aggie who was popular on the campus as an athletic star, cadet colonel dur- ing his senior year in 1917, and a friend to all who knew him. Now a colonel, Jason Craig is in the Philippines. Brad is ready to go to college and it is decided that he should go to A. & M. where his father went. He has spent ten years with his fa- ther in the Philippines, Japan and China, so he naturally has learned the Japanese language. While on the train to College Station, Brad becomes acquaint- ed with Nina (Anne Gwynne) who is a TSCW student. She is the grand daughter of "Pop" Lambert, one of the most res- pected professors at A. & M., played by Harry Davenport. Nina invites Brad to dinner at her grandfather's home and a romance developes between them. It takes a little time for Brad to learn all the various details that a freshman used to be compelled to know, but with the help of his best friend, Fish Cyanide Jenkins (Noah Beery, Jr.) he manages to learn them. By the end of the first semes- ter, he becomes popular among the cadets. Brad's senior year finds him a cadet captain. In the mean- time he has become fast friends with Pop Lambert. War clouds begin to gather over Europe. Even though all of his friends look for war with the Nazis, Brad grew up with the Japanese in the Philippines and expects an attack from' that quarter. Because of his suspicions, he be- comes friendly with three Ja- panese Aggies, and keeps his ideas to himself. One night while Brad is guarding a secret chemical for- mula in one of the chem labs, he is knocked out by prowlers. When he awakes, he finds that the formula has been stolen. He is accused of being a traitor and is disgracefully dismissed from school along with his Japanese friends. All of the awards that he had received during his col- lege career were taken away from him in his room by a dele- gation of seniors. After his dismissal from A. & M., Brad disappears from sight. Only Pop Lambert has faith in him and believes Brad has a rea- son for playing the role of a traitor. Pop knows more about the situation than he cares to tell. War breaks out with Japan and it is found that an Ameri- can traitor is announcing the news of the war for Japan. Brad is the traitor and is fast becom- ing a national hero in Japan be- cause of his radio reports. Due to influence gained through his Japanese friends, he obtains the privilege of broadcasting a blow - by -blow description of a sea bat- tle. The Japanese fleet is assem- bled and Brad is in his plane ready to report the battle to the world. The American Naval Air Force is out searching for the fleet when the familiar voice of Brad Craig tells them of the ac- tual position of the fleet. Cyan- ide Jenkins is with the Air Force and recognizes Brad's voice. As they come upon the scene - of battle, Brad dives his plane into a Japanese aircraft carrier and loses his life as his roommate's bombs blast the ship. Back at A. & M., the "Army Hour," with Bill Stern as an- nouncer, is presenting Pop Lam- bert to the corps and to the ra- dio audience so that he may tell (Continued on Page 25) THE BATTALION The Mystery of Lord `Bacalive Bq Al Ramerez (EDITOR'S NOTE: These are excerpts from the just recently uncovered diary of the late Lord Brigham Bacalive found in the small village 34'6 miles in the interior of the Belgian Congo. Through an agreement with the executors of the Lord's estate, we have been authorized to publish these revealing and enlightening observations of the great explorer.) August 13, 1894 ... We resumed our march into the heart of darkest Africa to the rhythmic beat of tom -toms. The mysterious, the un- known—darkest Africa!! At eight i in the evening my charts showed our position to be at the Great Northern Gap, the cross -roads of the continent. We marched south- ward into the Cavern of Seebeezah Hall for the night. August 14, 1894 ... Early this morning we heard the trumpeting AT of an elephant summoning the hunger- crazed natives to the morning meal. Hordes of the maniacs rushed into the cave past us. Terrified as we were we managed to escape their clutches. Today we went farther south until we came to a trading post near the old village of Bryansk —from the city of the same name. Here I bargained with the native girls (for food). Getting the worst of the deal I summoned my blacks who were gazing at the women and we continued our trek southward. Where our quest will end I know not, but I must find that strange tribe of Negroes known as the Moist Head Hunters. My search shall be unceasing until I discover this tribe. September 21, 1894 . . . Having deviated from our originally intended route, we came to a clearing referred to in my charts as the Circle of Taurus the Bull. The strange and mystic peoples of this region supposedly observe the Sabbath by visiting this shrine and pacing it for hours, praying to their gods. As we neared this sacred field we could see the na- tives walking furiously and muttering strange pray- ers as they endured the agony of their sacrifice. Tonight we tented under a strange light known to my blacks as the Prexy's Moon of the Great Chief. October 17, 1894 ... The heat today has been unbearable and the rain incessant. This portion of the Tropical Rail Forest is known for its excessive rainfall. It has been known to rain here 40 days and 45 nights and there is a legend that the Atlantic Ocean originated here. (There is no official data to confirm the rumor, however.) November 28, 1894. . Fifteen of my blacks were washed away in yesterday's rain, leaving me with six. Today we reached an area designed in my maps as the New Territory ... an area dotted with white huts, twelve to be exact. From our hidden position in the foliage and undergrowth of the jungle we observed flashes below and dull thuds came echoing through the forest. Moving nearer we could see the cause for this strange noise. The natives were actually beating each other. Was this one of the rituals of the lost tribe? Here was a strange sight —one black would take an oarlike plank and hit his comrade who wore a white band on his arm until they were ready to shake hands. Occasionally the positions would be reversed and the native with the white band would strike his friend. This occured very seldom, however. This strange ceremony called for investigation, so from my records and notes of the great Living- ston, I brought these observations: 1. A humid cranium is a strong indication. 2. If the specimen is extremely disliked by other natives his identity is almost proved. 3. If he has recurrent hemorrhages every night after the evening meal, little other proof is neces- sary. 4. If he possesses extreme vanity because he believes himself to be the natural ruler of all blacks, he is definitely a Moist Head Hunter. With these rules at hand I shall check and compare them with the natives I saw in the field this afternoon. November 12, 1894. . Today, as I was again witnessing the ceremony of the oar, a strange thing happened. While the natives were busily performing, the skies began flashing; the thunder rolled and the earth quavered. The natives scattered and from over the crest of a hill came a little man on a gal- (Continued on Page 22) MAY, 1943 I -B aofin cJfofman On September 18, 1940, 2,183 little boys, fresh from a summer of revelling in the glory of high school graduation, signed four years of their life away to what is officially known as higher educa- tion. On September 18, 1940, we, the Fish of 1 44, entered A. & M., intent on bring- ing a new way of life to freshman around here and a halo of glory upon ourselves. Well, we soon de- cided we had best wait and let someone else do the reforming that we then thought needed to be done around here, (and was done in January, 1942) and that halo of glory we were to heap upon our Holm= sheepish heads has dimmed con- siderably with the loss of over 1,500 of that original 2,000. But why did 1,500 of us leave A. & M.? To an- swer that we must go back to that hot, sunny day in September when we walked on the sidewalks from building to building, line to line, heads held high in the knowledge that we were Texas Aggies. Lt. Col. James A. Watson, later famous as the "Golden Lion" of a Battalion magazine editorial, was Commandant and P. M. S. & T. Bill Becker, a C Battery Field Artillery senior, was Colonel of the Corps; and Open Forum letters auppeared daily in 10 The-Battalion cursing everything from Roosevelt to the janitor in Ross Hall. Jarrin' Jawn Kimbrough, and an entire team of All- Americans plowed opponent after opponent into the field that year —until No. 20 came up. Texas University stopped the mighty Aggies by a quick touchdown early in the first quarter. We still had the conference title, however, and we still had the best team in the country, so we sadly filed back to Aggieland after drowning our sorrows In the remains of a Thanksgiving turkey. You know, time is a funny thing. Although it seems like days will never drag by, the weeks and months rolled on, and with "Fish T. S. Parker (now a two - diamond man on the Corps Staff) of San Antonio as our class president; Gus Boesch (now senior class prexy) as vice - president; P. R. Birdwell as secretary- treasurer; and A. D. Bruce, Jr., the.fa- mous son of a famous father, as historian, the Fish of '44 rolled on through the winter, taking all the kindling the sophomores could give us and uncom- plainingly picking the splinters out when we got back to our rooms. Early in February, Class President Parker ap- pointed a committee to select an orchestra for the Fish Ball, and shortly thereafter, the seniors TOLD us the Aggieland, then led by Ed Minnock, would sup- ply the jazz and that the Class of 1 41 was invited, naturally. We didn't say no, also naturally, and so THE BATTALION In THE CLASS OF 1944 on February 15, all the white- stripers gathered in Sbisa for five hours of freedom. Late that spring we were all a- jitter at the pros- pect of yanking that white stripe off, and spending the summer lording it over the high school class- mates who had become Teasippers. We delighted at the thought of "getting our privileges" about 10 days before the semester's end. And we can also remember how "delighted we were to carry that se- nior's trunk to the station just after the final review. We HAD our privileges. All summer long we worked or played, waiting for the day when we could come back to Aggieland as upperclassmen. That day came, and the Class of '44 tore back into Brazos County like a house afire. Well, the juniors and seniors threw a little water on our fire and we found out what it felt like to be the lowest form of humanity on earth. The Fish hated us for obvious reasons, and we weren't good enough for the juniors and seniors —what was a guy to do? At this stage of the game, our 2,100 had dropped down to around 1,500, but still we were grateful for the privilege of calling Cadet Colonel Tom Gillis just plain "Tom ". Colonel Watson was to be replac- ed by some buzzard we'd never heard of other than that he was stranded in Newfoundland and couldn't get here until October 1. As it was, he didn't get here until November 1, but Colonel Maurice D. Welty has been given the Distinguished Service Medal for what he did while he was "stranded" up there. Still forced to go to yell practice, we found out that fall of 1941 what a body means when he calls you a "Skeen Staley ". Alden (Golden Boy) Cathy was running society that year and every time we saw the sun glancing off a pair of senior boots we laughed within ourselves, because we knew we would get them in another couple of years. Moser, Spivy, Sibley, Ruby, Sterling, and Hen- derson backboned the football team and the grid - sters poured a total of 10,838 pounds of Aggie -power out onto the field just before game time each Sat- urday. As usual, we won them all except that one Thanksgiving Day, but still the mighty, mighty, mighty Texas Longhorns played around, sucked un- der to T. C. U. and Baylor, and the Texas Aggies came home with the bacon again. Bobby Phillips, B Infantry, was elected presi- dent of the class on October 10, 1941, after the most riotous class meeting ever held on the Aggie campus. Cadet Colonel Gillis and his staff of seniors had to threaten extermination for the entire group if we didn't shut up. Vance Carrington was chosen sec- ond in command, and Raymond Johnson, D. M. Griffiths, and Harold Ivey filled the other class of- fices. October 19 was the day of the T. C. U. corps trip. We all remember the little "flag incident" that liked to have developed into an intercollegiate rela- tions break. Once again time got into the groove, TU and Aggieland signed a peace pace, and two days later Texas broke it by running a headline in the Dally Texan which read something like this: MAY, 1943 11 We didn't get those cuffs and boots, but God knows we got the principles behind them ... pie Pearce's Aggravated Aggieland for their ball when the other outfits had just had such notables as Jimmie Lunceford, Boyd Raeburn, Ted Flo Rito and George Wald on the bandstand. We didn't mind much when sugar rationing hit us —we were about to be juniors —but oh! what a squall when the government decided men's trousers didn't need cuffs on them. "A SAGE UNTO HIS SON ONCE SAID: `AN AG- GIE GOOD IS AN AGGIE DEAD!"' THEN CAME PEARL HARBOR!! February, a new semester, and the Dew Drop Ball on the 20th rolled around in due time. Again, the Aggieland (this time under Topple Pearce) sup- plied swing, Norma Jean Jahn sang and over 85% of the Sophomore Class from TSCW kept us from get- ting lonesome. A few days later the Military De- partment announced that Quartermaster Corps training would begin with the summer semester. Not long after that, the Ordinance unit was estab- lished, and Aggieland became the first school in the nation offering all nine branches of the service. A war was on, sailors invaded the campus in March, and with each succeeding day, our cuffs and beautiful boots faded ever dimmer into the realm of never- to -be. During the annual spring elections, Shorty Booth and Bill McKenzie were elected junior yell leaders. On April 15, we dressed up to review for British Lord Halifax, but the Lard didn't show up—we re- viewed anyway. On the 23rd of April, the Infantry regiment almost had twins when it had to hire Top- When the semester ended we stopped to look back. When we registered just nine short months before, the United States was a peaceful nation, we had a freshman come clean up our room each morn- ing —and if he didn't do a good job— TIMBER!! We looked forward to ending that sophomore year, Bon- ing cuffs and staying out until all hours, leaving on the weekends without a pass, and spending six weeks of the next summer fighting mosquitoes at camp. We were just outside the ring when the mighty battle between the Cadet Corps and the College be- gan when the "grand new order" was announced in January. Naturally, we upheld the Corps view - point, but as a few found out the hard way —a few whose names should live in A. & M. history and probably will be placed there when the world settles down again, the Corps also learned the futility of their battle, so Old Aggieland went to war. Since then, since that day in early June when we returned to school after but two weeks at home, not much has happened. True, we saw our class take over from the graduating seniors in February, 1943, and we were in what will probably be one of the most historic moves in all A. & M. history, the induction as a body, of the junior and senior classes into the Army, but that wasn't much. Had we not been working up to it since December 7, 1941? Also, we went hog -wild over Universal Pictures for a while last fall, but does Aggieland need its history written in a film when so many of her sons are doing it with their own blood in the sand, sky, and seas of Oceania, Africa, and other points on the globe? Now, we the Seniors of '44, leave Aggieland exactly one year ahead of schedule. We go with a willing heart because we know it is our duty to go. We didn't get those cuffs and boots, but God knows ire got the principles behind them and shall forever, more, where ever we may be, sing praise unto our alma mater and thrill with the Spirit of Aggieland! 12 THE BATTALION Saturday night, pre regulation style. - . .. But he won the Distinguished Service Medal for what he did while he was "stranded" up there. 91 V I I N-47M ' 11 W 7 9 1 I MAY, 1943 13 E100WET sf�fz By JOHN HOLMAN (From September 1941, Battalion Magazine) Notice: Any similarity be- tween the events and characters of this little odyssey and any persons living or dead is purely coincidental! EIGHT BELLS —the guard is posted; the North Gate is closed; the East Gate is closed; the South Gate is closed; and the West Gate is closed. The sentries sleep soundly at their posts, as Aggieland digs in for the night. Darkness sneaks in as if on cat's feet and all is peace and quiet —but wait! What's this? Rumors? Invasion? Women? Brigadier - Admiral Basketbel- ly, alias El Commandante, sits with drawn face by his stock- market ticker. His ears are flap- ping gently in the breeze of eve- ning; his stomach makes little easy ups and downs as he breathes; his staff eyes him in- tently. His breathing gets loud- er, he fingers the ticker tape nervously. His staff moves in closer. His breathing gets louder; he is al- most fumbling the tape. His staff moves in closer. His breath- ing gets louder; his hands trem- ble like leaves; the staff is hud- dled about him. No one dares utter a sound. The Admiral raises his fingers to his lip for silence. Then he looks up—the staff sucks in its breath —the fatal news has come at last. His lips move. "Anybody got a match ?" The staff faints —the ticker ticks on. The Commanaant's gruff voice awakens the staff, which immediately is all ears. "Gentlemen, as you all know, we have reasons to believe that the female army of Miss Gener- al Flabbylips is at this very mo- ment primping in the valley of the mighty Brazos in prepara- tion for an invasion of our be- loved college. What reasons, you say? Only this morning Cadet - General Ughwhattapuss saw the steel in their eyes flashing in the mid - morning sunshine. Well, you all know what would hap- pen around here should the blasted hags bring us to bay. Books, professors (married), of- ficers, and freshmen would all go out the window, so to speak, and vice and sin would be pres- ident and dean, respectively. So I must impress upon you, my dependable staff and sons - in -law, the seriousness of the situation. College deferlse is first! Now, to your posts!" The old man's foggy eyes drooped lower and lower he sank into a chair, and was sound asleep by the time the staff —Gen. Twee - dle, Lt. Gen. Dee, Maj. Gen. Dee- I dle, Brig. Gen. Daa, and Private Dum got out the rum. Forty -four minutes later, an orderly freshman orderly burst into the room, kicked the old man in the belly to awaken him, and addressed him with the fol- lowing dignified words: "Yippeee! They have come! The bloomer blitz has hit at last! Yeee0000! Just imagine, Commy old boy, thousands of beautiful gals. And already their chair force is dropping propaganda! Look! The fish stuck out his hand around which was a gor- geous bright red garter —size 7 (Anybody recognize it ?) Brigadier Admiral Basketbelly was blushing so he looked like a neon sign advertising the Stork Club! Ten seconds later, however, he was a different man —a sol- dier with the glint of battle in his bloodshot eyes. (That's what gin will do for you). Generals Tweedle, Dee, Deedle, Daa, and Private Dum, (how did they get back In?!) with furrowed fore- heads, were bent over the Com- mandant's huge war map—on which two flies were staging a most interesting battle of their own. "Enough of this dilly - dallying! "enough of this dilly - dallying! To battle! Majestically drawing Call out the guards. We have a blitzkrieg on our hands. Brigadier - Admiral Basketbelly was in a delemma. Miss General Flabbylips had marshalled a female army and was primping in preparation for an Invasion. Brigadier- Admiral Baskethelly faced a major problem maintaining the morale of his army. his saber, belly almost dragging the ground, he stalked from the room —not unlike Napoleon —but not much like him, either. From the derrick behind the P. & G. building, the Commy and the staff watched the ad- vance guard of the enemy re- hearse the manual of charms on the airport. (Wonderful eye- sight, don't you think ?) The rehearsal didn't last long, though, for a short while later Miss General Flabbylip's chair force flew low over the ram- parts of Aggieland, depositing more of the aforementioned "propaganda." Imagine Brigadier - Admiral B a s k e t belly's embarrassment when one of the prettiest of them all landed invitingly at his feet. The derrick shook with his indignation! The wind of the grapes of wrath ran high! Meanwhile, the main body of the enemy had moved from the valley of the Brazos and were threatening the West Gate. Al- ready the station agent for the MKT was "held" prisoner in the creamery by a detail of Miss General's most pugwugshous blondes. The stout - hearted inside the gates of old A. & M. had manner the seige guns, determined nev- er to allow their hallowed school grounds to become over -run with low -down, conniving females. The battle waxed pro and con —each side firing at the rate of several million spit -balls a min- 4s . ute; the females using every trick in the bag to lure the wide - eyed cadets through the gates into their trap. They advanced line after line of crack "wink - ers" and "prissers" only to have them beaten back by deluge after deluge of clay -balls and spit - balls. But this heavy defense was slowly but surely cracking and getting weaker as each new line of she -males appeared. Already the Cavalry had ridden into their clutches, the Signal Corps could no longer withstand the wig- wagging of the buckskin skirts and it too could be sneaking man after man into the cream- ery to "help out" the station agent! The Field Artillery was al- ready being supported by the Coast's mighty rubber -guns, and inner -tube after inner -tube had spanked the pretty females lightly where it hurts the most! But alas, the poor Infantry was out of spit! Every mouth was dry, and had not the setting sun marked the end of the day's hos- tilities, Aggieland would surely have been lost. (Don't tell it around, but dur- ing the night, the corps went on a little expedition into the ter- ritory of the female foes—of course, purely for purposes of "reconnaissance.") THE MORNING SUN was hardly over Brenham when the Admiral summoned his brave band about him on the "Y" steps, and in tone of voice tired and strained from a long night of calling "Mable" softly, he said: "Men of the old school, are you ready?" A cry of defiance came up from the handful of women - haters left to fight with the Commy and his staff. "Then to the guns! And may the gods spare our school!" The old boy bristled up his eyebrows and bent closely over the maps before him. He looked up just in time to see General Tweedle, Lt. Gen. Dee, Maj. Gen. Deedle, Brig. Gen. Daa, and Private Dum disappear over the North Gate -- deserting to the enemy. The light of victory was dim in Basketbelly's eyes but the fire of battle burned brighter than ever! The strange light of strat- egy seemed to burn in his heart. Unconsciously he summoned the staff which was not there about (Continued on Page 24) -h A. VANITY FAIR ai jzLLc' foz tfie 1 9= 4 -zon9f oW 6 a. Varga GOLDIE -ROCKS LEAVES HOME When little Goldie -rocks became tired of the way things went at home, she didn't just sit around and wait for what she wanted. BY MORTIN ROBINSON One day Goldie -rocks decided that she wasn't doing any good staying around home so she slammed the door behind her and took off for the big woods like a scalded duck. When she got to the woods, she was a little frightened, but she plunged on in —there was no turning back. She knew that if she went back, her mother would make her wash the dishes, tend her little sister, take a bath on Saturday nights, and come in at eleven p. m. She didn't get lost in the. woods; she knew her way around (she was eighteen). But along about twelve noon she came upon a cabin in the woods and she knew that she had to pro- vide her stomach with food. So she slipped up to the door —then entered. Setting on the table were three pots of soup —all the same size. She drank them one after the other while gaily singing, "Guzzle, guzzle, guzzle, as it trickles down the muzzle ... " Goldie -rocks then unloosened her belt and rubbed her sleepy eyes (she had stayed up late). Then she walked upstairs and lo, and behold! —three bunks in a row. One bunk had a counter- pane of silk, one had a coverlet of lace, and the third had an old army blanket tucked in all the way around —with square corners. She collapsed on the first bed, but the silk got next to her and gave her goose pim- ples. Then she tried the second bed, but she stuck her tootsies through the lace and tore it something awful. Lastly she tried the bed with the army blanket, and it just suited her. It was cozy and warm and she was sleepy —so she went to sleep (naturally). Then the funny stuff. Along about three o'clock in the morn- ing, in came the three bears raising hell. The first bear that came in the cabin door wore an orange and white collegiate sweater, and parted his hair in the middle. "Oh deah," he said, "some evil person has purloined my porridge. I don't know what I'll do." The second bear came in wear- ing a blue and gray collegiate sweater and said, "I do believe my porridge is gone, too, and I don't know what I'll do." But the third bear stumbled in wearing a maroon and white slip -over and said, "Some thiev- ing M *! stole my soup —oh well, I'll meal -hound some." By this time all three bears were in need of a bracer, so the orange and white sweatered bear whipped out a cup of tea and sipped audibly. The gray and blue sweatered bear came up with a portion of pilsener. The bear with the maroon and white slip -over bottom -upped a little bottle, but it was empty and he cussed because he had to swim across the river to get it. Feeling sufficiently brave the three bears crept up the stairs and immediately spied Goldie - rocks all tangled up in the army blanket. Now each of the first two bears was angry because Goldie -rocks hadn't chosen his bed to sleep in. You see, all three bears wanted to warm their feet on little Goldie's pink skin. But the maroon and white jacketed bear was so happy because Gol- die had chosen his bunk, so he laughed at the other two bears. "Hi, ya, boys," she said, "I'm glad you came up." "You naughty rascal— ¢isar- ranging my silken sheet," said the orange and white sweatered bear. "You're a bad girl for stick- ing your foot through my lace coverlet," said the blue and gray sweatered bear. "All I can bleed about is that you should have let me know you were here sooner, baby," said (Continued on Page 23) 18 THE BATTALION Betty Battalion MAY, 1943 18 Well, I told the sarge there were only two things I could do; so he put me on this job and said to report to him - later. It's really tough when you have to drip out of the swimming pool just to seek your way to the typewriter and tell you mean old Aggies how won- derful you are. But such is life, and to be fair and square about the whole thing you should always give praise where praise is due, so here goes ... Along about now, all of you contract men are beginning to notice that the Ad- ministration building is pretty, at least from the outside, and that the railroad station is not only a nice place when leaving, but also when coming back. Maybe you even wish that you could again feel that board and look forward to the day when you could rip that beautiful white stripe from your sleeve. You can't deny it, you love the place, although it's a secret buD you keep from your ole lady. This is just a black and white good -bye to all of you who will be carrying on that never say the Aggie tradition in a very short while. We will skip the tears and sighs; they aren't effective . . . in print. Just put the Aggie War Hymn up next to the Star - Spangled Bang and best of luck all. Might as well break down now, and tell all. That's what sentiment does to a woman. Well, it's been super swell to write this little page every month, and I'll really miss it. Thanks for all your letters, that post office box looks better with mail. And again we must impress upon you, wherever you go, don't forget that heaven, spelled TSCW, is in beautiful, beautiful Texas. Jerry Jenkins, brunette sophomore who will transfer from TSCW to Texas U. in July, but will remain true to A. & M., forever, has whipped up a little poem to show you fellows what she really thinks of Aggieland. Jerry knows her subject well and declares that the University can't make her drink tea! I've thrilled 'em at the Stork Club With midshipmen in Navy blue, At the Sherman in Chicago — Even Notre Dame was coming through. From there I went to Harlem With a "Pointer" who liked beer; It was Ciro's on the West Coast Where I learned the Stanford cheer. In the Blue Room at New Orleans I taught Tulane to shag, 20 And then I went to LSU To learn the Tiger Rag. I traipsed right down to Texas U. And wore out both my slippers, With zoot - suiters at the Tower Who were typical teasippers. I slummed at Hill's in Houston With a football star from Rice; At the Den, a great big horned frog Showed me how to roll the dice. But none of these compared at all To Aggieland, they said. So I took a turn at Franklin's And met the famous Uncle Ed. So here I am in Denton Content forever more, The moral of this story is, Them AGGIES - - give me more! That big weekend of April 16 and 17 that is now just a very pleasant memory in our minds, stands out clearly as one of the foremost weekends of the entire social year. Tessie W. seemed to be represent- ed en masse. To most of us it was the last trip to College Station, and a good time was had accord- ingly. Skinny Ennis had top billing to feature dance- able music —but the Friday night dance told anoth- er story. With the Aggieland and Mr. Ennis playing In Sbisa, one couldn't help but notice that dancing was much roomier around the latter. Orchids to Jack McGregor and his fine organization for their top -notch performance. A. & M. has said "So long" to many an orchestra, but this will be one of the hardest to part with. Curley Brient, ex- leader of the band, stole the show on the weekend under discussion. He drew a crowd around the band that made people think of the line in "Beat Me Daddy" . "Nobody there bothered to dance" The fame of this organization that received recognition nationally through WNBL and the Fitch Bandwagon will probably be a favor- ite topic of discussion at class reunions in years to come. o=xaa High spots in the school year for all of us ... The Ina Ray Hutton dance and the Grove. The Corps trips in spite of war and things. The yell prac- tice before the TCU game. Our Redbud Dance. The THE BATTALION movie, need we say more? The banner on the Bat- talion that read "Contract Men Receive Orders." The WAAC at TSCW. And lots more matters of indi- vidual taste —name your own. It's exam time for us. Gruesome but true. While Aggieland buzzes with activity over Final Review, world premiere, Senior Ring Dance, Junior Prom, good -byes, and things in general, we sit in class rooms for three -hour stretches sweating the blanks on mimeographed pages or writing for hours on some seemingly trivial matter. There ain't no jus- tice, of course. Waking up at five o'clock and study- ing by the light of early dawn is a regular feature of a day's work around here now. It's funny how quickly the terrors are forgotten over a coke at "Mac's." Guess it will turn out all right, but the future seems quite dark at present. One exam cheerer, as someone so aptly called it, is the annual. Kathryn Lowe, editor of our '43 DADAELIAN, should be pleased as punch with the finished job. And while annuals are being discussed, TSCWites never could quite understand why Aggies didn't scribble up the pages with sentimental notes of classmates, and A. & M. never quite saw our point in writing all over a beautiful book. Maybe we can explain it by saying that it gives each of us some- thing different from the next one, when they were all basically the same at the beginning. Funny cus- tom, yes,-but aren't women funny things? Not so long ago in Houston Hall, sophomore dormitory, something worth writing about took place. A fuzzy white and gray cat, unmindful of the rule that no pets are allowed in the dormitories, wandered in and found her way to the second floor. Here she curled up under a radiator and went to sleep without a second glance at the girls. Later in the afternoon, when someone thought of kitty's welfare enough to take her some milk, she was placidly bathing two tiny kittens. For the following week, strictly under cover, the feline family was well cared for in a large box full of pillows and old rags. Carried from closet to closet, they have be- come the strictly- off - the - record - mascots of Hous- ton Hall. Not to betray my classmates, but in my opinion, the choice of a representative animal could not have been better. An ex -Aggie now in OCS once told me his phil- osophy on that subject all of you fellows minor in. love and women. Passing it on, just to let you know what to do if the OAO ever wants a definite an- swer: "Falling in love reminds me of the days when I was a little boy and my mother gave me a nickel a day to spend as I chose. I went down town and scoured the stores to be sure that my choice would be right. I looked at all the brands of candy, then decided that maybe an apple would be better. This went on for some time, and finally I would make my purchase and walk on down the street. Much to my disgust, the next thing I saw would have been far better for me, I would have liked it more, MAY, 1943 and have been much more satisfied. But what was I to do? My money was gone, my stomach was full and all I had left was regrets. Now I ask you, how can I be sure ?" *=ZmL�- A trip to A. & M. just ain't complete, we have decided, without getting to stay in a dormitory. Boys move out, you know. Every other place has its short - comings, unless, of course, College Station is home. But the dorms ... Ah! And especially if you know the boy that vacates his room. We heard of one case once, when the lady fair was searching for a towel and opened a drawer full of underwear. In- stead of a towel, she found a note saying, "Nosey bag, aren't you ?" And then there are those who thanked their dates for being so thoughtful and having the bed made up, only to discover that the dear sweet thing had boosted Kellogg Cereal stock and had dumped a freight car full of cgrn flakes in her her bed. But despite the hardships, nosing around is the most fun. Finding nine pictures (all female likenesses) in the bottom of the closet under trunks, etc., and seeing only your smiling face from the desk, makes you wonder sometimes. But you don't wonder long, 'cause everybody knows that Aggies aren't "true blue" . darn it! There is always the boy who feels that he must impress the girl and goes around gathering up pictures from all his buddies to make her think that he is Romeo Romantic. He doesn't think that the loving epistles written in purple ink will ever catch her eye ... "Love to Bud" ... "Only forever, Tommy" ... etc. Boy, is he fooled! And advice along that line ... If there is a let- ter that you had rather she wouldn't read, don't hide it. Put it on the wall and label it "Read This," then she is sure to overlook it. And the old standby that never fails to happen is brushing those gleam- ing molars with shaving cream. coca All this talk about the dying Aggie spirit just isn't right. The program put on by ex- Aggies all over the world on San Jacinto Day should be proof enough to those few doubters among you. You just can't quench something that started 'so long ago and has held up so well. From September 17, 1876 to May, 1943 is just plenty long. Every one of you would yell just as loud at yell practice now as you did when you were fish and had that senior stand- ing over you with "ye olde boarde." Anyway, the San Jacinto Day program was keen, and that's what I started out to say. (Thought for a minute there I would beat Holman when it came to editorializing.) cab Have you ever watched an Aggie say good -bye to his date at the station? It's a rare treat, but don't every try it if you are trying to say good -bye too. He approaches the platform with a trunk -sized suit- case under one arm, insisting that it isn't heavy, when it's plain that his arm is ready to pop out of its socket. Under the other arm, he holds corsages, teddy bears, school books, hat boxes, and her coat. She walks smilingly beside him, overburdened by the weight of a stamp -sized purse. After he finds 21 her a seat on one of the benches that won't break with her weight, he deposits his various parcels and makes his way back to her. Then they hold hands and make idle chatter about the lovely weekend until the ever - present freight train starts by. If there was anything left to say by this time it can't be said now, so they sit and smile at each other foolishly. Pretty soon they decide that they can't keep smiling forever, so they stare at someone else who is right in the middle of a glamour grin. Then they look at each other and laugh, but that soon fades, and here they are smiling. Encore ... two or three times, and the freight train moves slowly on. Then there is a brief silence because no one knows what to do in the sudden quiet. Pretty soon the conversation is buzzing again, and before they know it, they are running to find the right door of the Sunbeam. First they run up, then they think that chances would be better in the back, so they run back. When they get there, the porter tells them, "Sorry, suh, loadin' in front only." He isn't the only one that is sorry, so they tear madly up to the right door and wait. Wait while all the luggage gets on, while someone goes into a clinch in the door of the train, and then wait some more while a sleepy sailor decides that this is Col- lege Station after all, and makes his way out. Finally they are at the door, and people are pushing like mad, but they take time out for a quick kiss. Then she smiles again, and boards the train, lipstick smeared and sleepy. She knocks down all her fellow passengers getting to the window to look at his face, which is also lipstick smeared. Finally the train pulls out, and another weekend is over. oafs. And here it is, the end of another column. Also the end of the Battalion Magazine until the Aggies win the war. That's a shame, Ole Army, where will you ever find so many shady jokes under one cover again? Mystery of Lord Bacalive— (Continued from Page 9) lant steed thundering toward the huts. "Perchance," said I, "one of the gods has been offended and has come to punish the blacks." As he came closer I could see leaves fluttering on his shoulders and feathers on his pants. A most odd sight! This strange creature dismounted and began a search through the huts. Finding nothing he jumped on his horse and raced away over the hill in a cloud of dust. But even after the terror of the hills had vanished the natives still did not reappear. Hours later the first dared the perils and sheepishly came out and gath- ered the boards they had dropped. I was touched, and lost also. As for continuing the search for the Moist Head Hunters, I was through. To me they were still a lost tribe and I swore that the civilized world would never know of the downfall of this blissful —and ignorant race. Failure seemed the fate for Jean That is, until the day She proffered Prof a Wint -O -Green And walked off with an "A." MORAL: Er.tybods'. breath eased. now and then. Let Life Savers ewee[en end freshen ar breath after ratios, dddt- v �1 ng, and ..king. FREEI A Bar of Life Bavers What is the beet inks that you heard on this ean tma this weakt Bend it to your editor. Yoo may wisecrack yourself Into a free bog of Life saversl For the beat line submitted each month by one of the etudoats, these will be It free award of an attractive leelophane- wrapped assortment of all the Life saver flavors. Jokes will be judged by the editors of this publication. The right to publish any or all jokes is reserved. Decisions of the Wit.. wdl be final. The winning wisecrack will be published the following month along with the lucb winner's mama. THIS MONTH'S WINNING JOKE The Gal: Would you think it was telepathy if we were thinking of the same thing? The Fella: No, just plain luck. Submitted by Jack Connor Pasadena, Texas 22 THE BATTALION Goldie -Rocks Leaves Home— (Continued from Page 18) the maroon and white jacketed bear. Suddenly a little red fox stuck his head in the door and want- ed to know if the maroon and white bear had any goats to send off to the cleaners, patches to bo'sewed on or alterations, etc. The little red fox then asked the other two bears if they had any doilies to launder. They didn't, so he pulled his head out of the room, and departed in- stantly dragging the orange and white sweatered bear by one hand, and the blue and gray sweatered bear by the other. The remaining bear took off his maroon and white slip -over and sat down on the edge of the bunk while little Goldie -rocks said, "I'll bet you don't know why I decided to sleep in your bunk, do you Beary old boy ?" "hope;" answered the bear promptly. "Well, I'll tell you. I laid down on the orange and white bear's bunk and was almost asleep when I rolled over on something entitled, 'How to Have a Win- ning Football Team; and sub- titled, 'Also_ How to Count Over Ten.' Now, I'm not the athletic type so I moved over on the gray bear's bunk, and found a book that read, 'Ten Easy Ways to Avoid Conscription' Now, I'm for national defense, so I wasn't in the mood for that right then. So I moved over on your army blanket and found, 'Why Girls Leave Home.' And Goldie -rocks raised her long eye lashes to gaze into the big bear's brown eyes, and said, MAY, 1943 9 7r,S' The Colonel had to drive into town. "I knew you would understand why I ran away from home." The big bear growled happily and threw his shoes on the floor. Goldie -rocks smiled. The door slammed shut. That's all there is to the story, boys, and it's no bull —just plain bear facts. Sign on a truck: This truck stops fo rall R. R. crossings, red- heads, and brunettes —and will back up one -half mile for a blonde. — Lamplighter "Why does Geraldine let the boys kiss her ?" "She once slapped an Ag stu- dent who was chewing tobacco." Professor (to mother of a freshman): Your son has a great thirst for knowledge. Where does he get it? Mother: He gets the knowl- edge from me and the thirst from his father. — Lamplighter Tea - sipper: Who knocked on my door just now? Janitor: It was me. Tea - sipper to second Tea -sip- per: What is he trying to say? * Bashful: Do you mind if I kiss you? (No answer). Bashful: Would you care if I kissed you? Wise Sister: Say, do you want me to promise not to bite? L Seventeen comes after sixteen. But what comes after seven- teen? Errol Flynn. New WRAC: Where do I eat? Captain: You mess with the male officers. New WAAC: I know, but where do I eat? —Voo Doo "What are you thinking about, Jack ?" "The same things you are, Jane." If you do, I'll scream!" — Masquerader If a girl's a good loser at strip poker, it isn't always sportsman- ship. Sometimes it's just plain conceit. —Voo Doc "Who was that lady I saw you with last night ?" "That was no lady, that was the damned ape that's been fol- lowing me around ever since I started boarding bananas." —Voo Doo E71 As the small -town dog said to his friends when he left for the big city: "I hope they keep me posted." Ebner, age 13, was puzzled over the girl problem and discussed it with his pal, Joe. I've walked to school with her three times," he told Joe, "and carried her books. I bought her ice cream sodas twice. Now do you think I ought to kiss her ?" "Naw, you don't need to," Joe decided, after a moment of deep thought. "You've done enough for the girl already." — Ranger What did the little rabbit say as he ran out of the forest fire? Hooray! I've been defurred. — Ranger 23 Bloomer Blitz — (Continued from Page 17) him. Not noticing, however, he lay a plan before them that were not there. "I shall offer to talk over peace terms with Miss General Flabbylips, and I shall outsmart the old rouge -caked witch! Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, (gad, this could go on forever, couldn't it ?)" The com- mandant sneered, "I, the one, the only, the eighth Brigadier Admiral Weedlebum P. Basket - belly, shall outsmart her!" He snickered to himself, then said, "As soon as I get her inside these gates, I shall make her host- age!" The poor, innocent, lucky freshman that was sent out with the white flag and peace pro- posal didn't come back, BUT, in his place came the daddy of them all —Miss General Mabel de Flabbylips (and she could hardly truthfully be called a rouge -caked witch!) Escorted by every senior A. & M. had lost the night before, she strutted through the gate as if she al- ready owned the place. But there, in all his immensity, stood Weddlebum waiting for her. She single- footed up to him, cocked her head over to one side, and gave out with one of those you - know - what - kind - of - I - mean winks. Poor Basketbelly melted! "Shall we retire to my private headquarters to discuss peace, dear madame ?" He spoke with every ounce of charm his gratey old cracked voice could hustle up. Twenty -one minutes, thirteen seconds later, the cry of "Fresh - mumm" arose from the field headquarters of our dear com- mander-in- chief. Two minutes after that, the abashed afore- said freshman nailed the fol- lowing announcement on the headquarters bulletin board: "Memorandum No. 1,000,000,- 000,000,001. The war is officially ended. Cease firing. Let me alone, Ma- bee. Excuse please. Signed, Basket - belly. Ouch. P. S. —Also pleased to an- nounce the coming marriage of yours truly to the commander of the opposing army — providing I can get rid of the old lady at home!" THE END (Thank goodness!) ... Then with the gentleness of a cat rubbing his back against your leg, she tenderly comes into your arms. You kiss her, her arm slowly creeps up your neck and your spine sort of tingles all over. Then she breaks away and with a soft intake of breath, she lays her head on your shoulder and says, "Oh -h -h John, dar -r- ling!" She's no amateur . . . Four and twenty test tubes, A beaker full of lime, Men and women yawning, Asleep for half the time; When the tubes arr opened Fumes begin to reek. Isn't that an awful mess To have three times a week? — Varieties C IL If ARMY TO YOU WHO ARE LEAVING WE SAY: "It hag been our pleasure to serve you. Good luck and congratulations for your achieve- ments." ,ACCT LLAN D IDIHAUAAC Y "Keep To The Right At The North Gate And You Can't Go Wrong" 24 THE BATTALION World Premier — (Continued from Page 8) the story of Brad's heroic act. All of Brad's awards, his senior boots and saber, and the Con- gressional Medal of Honor are presented to him posthumous- ly. He is restored to the roster of A. & M. and becomes a hero in the eyes of the cadet corps and the nation. Walter Wanger's production of "We've Never Been Licked ", starring the fighting Texas Ag- gies will have its world premier showing on Kyle Field sometime in late summer or early fall. The movie was expected to be com- pleted in April and again in May but technical difficulties in filming final scenes resulted in the postponement of the show- ing. Texas A. & M., in all its sixty - seven years, has never witnessed anything that can compare with this motion picture. It is a fit- ting tribute to our heroic war dead and to the spirit that will never die —the Spirit of Aggie- land! He: Can I take you home? She: Sure, where do you live? A show girl leads a hard life. All the women talk about her right in front of her face and the men talk about her behind. — Medley She: Where is your chivalry? He: I. turned it in for a Buick. — Sundial We just read in the papers of a man who had been ill for months and died without the aid of a physician. Such instances of death are very rare. "So you ditched your boy friend because he gets amorous after the third drink ?" "Yes, I've found another who gets amorous after the first." He: You've a faculty for mak- ing love. She: Oh no, just a student body. — Ranger A cute little lass approached the floorwalker and asked, "Do you have any notions on this floor ?" The floorwalker looked her over, and then remarked, "Yes, madam, but we suppress them during working hours." —Covered Wagon Did you hear about the girl who went to a masquerade dressed as a telephone operator and before the evening was over had three close calls? — Covered Wagon C_i Grandmother: Johnny, I wouldn't slide down those ban- isters. Johnny: Wouldn't, hell, you couldn't. — Pelican 1 "My husband travels so much that each time he comes home he seems a perfect stranger." Her Friend: "How thrilling." Four out of five women haters are women. —Sour Owl A girl is sometimes like the ocean —she may look green, but she can get awfully rough. sundial "I'm a self -made man," he said proudly. "You're lucky," sighed his new friend. "I'm the revised work of a wife and three daughters!" =Froth All women's dresses are mere- ly variations on the eternal struggle between the admitted desire to dress and the unadmit- ted desire to undress. — Medley MAY, 1943 25 CARTOON OF THE YEAR A cute young thing walked into a dress shop and asked to see some silk dresses. The sales lady tried to convince her that she should buy a wool dress, but to no avail. Finally she asked: "But why do you insist on a silk dress ?" "I'm tired of having the wool pulled over my eyes!" "What do naughty Egyptian girls become ?" "Mummies." A dainty foot, a lovely torso Can make a friendly feeling more so. 0 There was a young lady of Wantage Of whom the town clerk took advantage. Said the county surveyor, Of course you must pay her; You've altered the line of her frontage. Girls, when they went out to swim Once dressed like Mother Hubbard. Now they have a bolder whim, And dress more like her cupboard. WE HAVE 0 Nice Selection of Water Proof - - - Shock Proof WATCHES And always remember, Oswald, that the differ- ence between a model woman and a woman model is that the former is a bare possibility and the other is a naked fact. He was always sleeping in class. There he sat in the front row, with his eyes closed and his mouth open from one hour to the next. At last the professor could stand it no longer. One day, when the discus- sion had been particularly intricate, he stopped in the middle of his lecture and said: "Gentlemen, we have been working on the hard- est problems In this course and there sits the man who needs it the most, asleep!" The student gently opened one eye and whis- pered so that all could hear, "I wish to hell I were." — Yellow Jacket "I got a letter from Marjory accepting my pro- posal." "Then you should be all smiles." "Yes, but I can't remember who the devil Mar- jory is." It gives a thrill to any Jill, To have a Jack around; And up to date, 'tis safe to state No substitute's been found. E] Call now while we still have some to offer. Caldwell's Jewelry Store Bryan, Texas 26 Man (in pot of cannibal): You went to college and you still eat humans? Cannibal: Yes, but I use a knife and fork now. — Ranger He: I'm thinking of asking some girl to marry me. What do you think of the idea? She: It's a great idea, if you ask me. — Ranger THE BATTALION Is that boy we picked up at College Station comfortable, Mable? He: I can't see what keeps girls from freezing. She: You're not supposed to. — Sundial She: Adieu. He: You do? M — Sundial During a lull in A.E.F. activi- ties in London last week, a col- ored boy from Chattanooga got in a poker game with a few Eng- lish chaps. Picking up his cards, he found four aces. Someone had just bet one pound and the colored boy said: "I don't know how yo' boys count yo' money, but I'll just raise yo' one ton." Host: There are my Grand- ma's ashes over there, Guest: Oh, the poor soul has passed on? Host: No, she's just too lazy to look for the ash tray. Teacher (after lesson on snow): As we walk along the road on a cold winter's day and look around, what do we see on every hand? Little Finnigan: Gloves. Cop: Didn't you hear me yell for you to stop? Lady Driver: No, sir. Cop: Didn't ya hear me whis- tle? L. D.: No, sir. Cop: Didn't ya see me signal? L. D.: No, sir. Cop: Well, I guess I'd better go home. I don't seem to be do- ing much good around here. Z3 First Old Maid: What are you trying to get ... an M. A. or a Ph. D.? Second Disappointed: Oh, I don't really care whether he's been to college or not. If you should find an original joke in this issue, please notify the editor. We can use one. There isn't much difference in freshmen from year to year. You can tell a freshman girl right off because she says "Stop," and you can tell a freshman boy just as easy because he stops. — Mercury Once upon a time there was a ministry of information car- rier pigeon. And as it was flying leisurely to its destination it was jostled by a second pigeon which bawled, "Get a move on. I've got the denial!" — Mercury Early to bed and early to rise, Your gal goes out with other guys. — Mercury We Take Great Pleasure in Letting You K now That We Have Appreciated Your Business. BEST WISHES FOR A SUCCESSFUL FUTURE Lipscomb's Pharmacy W A L G R E E N A G E N C Y North Gate MAY, 1943 27 "I wouldn't trade my husband for any ten men." "I wouldn't trade my ten men for any husband." — Yellow Jacket We always called a spade a spade until we hit our foot with one the other day. — Masquerader A mountaineer entered a saloon with his wife and three - year -old son. He ordered two straight whiskies. "Hey, paw," asked the kid, "ain't maw a- drink- in , T „ — Yellow Jacket E3 A romantic pair were in the throes of silence as the car rolled smoothly along an enchanting woodland path when the lady broke the spell: "John, dear," she asked softly, "can you drive with one hand ?" "Yes, my sweet," he cooed in ecstasy of antici- pation. "Then," said the lovely one, "you'd better wipe your nose, it's running." —Judge Aggies Congratulations and Thanks For The Memories We hope that our service has made your life more pleasant here at A. & M. Aggieland Studio North Gate JOE SOSOLIK, Prop. 28 You miss your soldier, do you? You're tired all over, and blue; Your corn- flower eyes are trimmed with red, And you wish you were dead, or out of your head. Your nerves are looping -the loop, you say? You long for a week to hit the hay. Yes, your curls are down in the back but still — Straighten your shoulders, take a pill. You look a mess, Babe, that's no lie — From dancing all night with some other guy. —Judge Ezra: Who's that close- mouthed gent over there? Zeke: He ain't close- mouthed. He's a'waitin' fer the janitor to get back with the cuspidor. —Bored Walk Since eyes are windows of the soul Isn't Nature kind To fix things so that when we're kissed, We can pull the blind? —Judge My roommate inquires About my sweetheart, Bess; He asked me: "Is she a nice girl ?" And I answered "Moraless." —Old Maid Chaplain: My man, I will allow you five minutes of grace before the execution. Condemned Man: Fine, bring her in. —Old Maid * Traffic Cop: Say, you! Didn't you see me wave at you? Sweet Co -ed: Yes, but I go steady, so you're wasting your time. —Old Maid If Little Red Riding Hood lived today, The modern girl would scorn 'er. She only had to meet one wolf, Not one on every corner. —Old Maid Tokyo happy to report terrible conditions at A. & M. Spy say many cadets sleeping on hay and living in holes; only mess served in eating hall; and barracks full of fish. Once there was a travelling salesman who had to sleep over at a farmhouse and the farmer didn't have a daughter. —Old Maid THE BATTALIQN o�5nx�ansxrD 2.2 "A" 1 . 4 J 0 6 �� , �7: Uv� Here's to the land we love —and vice versa. — Syracusan Reporter: I've got a perfect news story. Editor: How come? Man bite dog? Reporter: No, bull threw professor. — Urchin "Father, what does it mean when it says here, 'Then spake Ulysses with winged word' ?" "Easy, son; what could it be but fowl language ?" —Log The young school teacher smiled sweetly at the gentleman before she realized that she didn't know him. "Oh, pardon me," she stammered, "I thought you were the father of two of my children." —Old Maid * "Dear Clara," wrote the young man, "pardon me, but I'm getting so forgetful. I proposed to you last night, but really forgot whether you said yes or no." "Dear Will," she replied by note, "so glad to hear from you. I knew that I had said no to somebody last night but had forgotten who it was." — Puppet * He: I bet you a dime I can kiss you without your knowing it. She: O. K. It's a bet. He: (Smack) I lose again. M A Yale player was teaching some cowboys how to play football. He explained the rules and ended as follows: "Remember, fellows, if you can't kick the ball, kick a man on the other side. Now let's get busy. Where's the ball ?" One of the cowboys yelled: "To hell with the ball. Let's start the game." — Ranger 'What have you done ?" St. Peter asked, "That I should admit you here ?" "I ran a comic," the editor said, "Of my college for one long year." St. Peter pityingly shook his head And gravely touched a bell. "Come in, poor thing, select a harp, You've had your share of Hell." He: Shall we walk or take a taxi? She: My shoulders hurt. Let's walk. — Pelican Congratulations Aggies You have done a good job here and we know you will continue to do the same wherever you are. We Have Enjoyed Doing Business With You American Steam Laundry Bryan A closet is where a girl keeps most of her clothes when she is dressed up. MAY. 1943 29 Bob: Jane, we just ran out of gas. Jane: Don't be silly, Bob; pull over to a shady lane. It's too conspicuous here. —Log There was a young lady of Trent Who said that she knew what it meant When men asked her to dine Give her cocktails and wine. She knew what it meant —but she went. — Frivol * And there was the Scotch girl who was expect- ing her first -born. She moved out to the country to take advantage of rural free delivery. — Purple Cow Prof: Young man, are you the teacher of this class? Stude: No, sir. Prof: Well, then, don't talk like an idiot! — Record Two little morons were in swimming. They looked up and saw a beautiful girl absolutely nude on the diving board. One whistled and said, bet that would look good in a bathing suit!" THANK YOU AGGIES Remember our store as the place to select: Watches Diamonds and All Articles of Fine Jewelry Varner's Jewelry STORE Bryan — College Station so He: Brown got kicked out of school this morn- ing for cheating on an astronomy exam. Him: What was he doing, copying from the fel- low in front of him? He: Naw, the professor caught him bumping his head against the wall. * "Does Bill walk with that slouch of his ?" "Naw, he quit going with Baylor girls." n Blue eyes gaze at mine — Vexation. Soft hands clasped in mine— Palpitation. Fair hair brushing mine — Expectation. Red lips close to mine— Temptation. Footsteps— Damnation. Bad men want their women to be like cigarettes — slender and trim and all in a row to be selected at will, set aflame and when the flame has subsided, discarded, only to select another. The fastidious man wants his women to be like a cigar. They are more expensive, and they make a better appearance, they last longer, for, after all, if the brand is good, they are seldom discarded, but used to the end. The good man wants his women to be like his pipe — something he becomes attached to, knock gently but lovingly, takes great care of always. A man will give you a ciga.ette, offer you a cigar, but will never share his pipe. M A midshipman wandered into a tennis tourna- ment one da ylast year, and sat down on a bench. "Whose game ?" he asked. A shy young thing sitting next to him looked up hopefully. "I am," she replied. — Purple Parrot * Preacher (marrying Mormon to his wives): John Smith, do you take these women to be your lawful wedded wives? Man: I do. Preacher: And do you girls take John Smith to be your lawful wedded husband? Women: We do. Preacher: You girls in the back of the room had better speak louder if you want to get in on this. —Old Maid El We have all heard of the so- called dumb per- son, but the gold toothpick goes to the rookie who thought that March 4th was a military command. —Log THE BATTALION Little Red Riding Hood: Gee, what big eyes you have, Grand- mother! Grandmother: Yeah, I just took the air corps physical. — Mercury * Every night we bill and coo And maybe pitch a little woo, And you think it grand If .1 hold your hand, And you think it bliss If I steal a kiss; So we kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss; EEE -rist, I love that stuff. — Mercury * In days of old— famous last words — "Quick, knave, the can opener. I've a flea in my knight clothes." —Log * Father: I never see a girl blush any more. It was certainly dif- ferent in my day. Daughter: Good gracious, Dad, what on earth did you say to them? His toes curled in the black soil. God, it was marvelous to feel the good cool earth beneath his feet again. Tenderly he bent down and crumbled a sod be- neath his fingers. A man was a fool to leave the land. He thought of the city with loath- ing. All it had brought him was unhappiness and sorrow, but that was over. He was back to his first love —the earth. For a while he was motionless in si- lent contemplation; a prayer of thanksgiving rose from his heart. Once more he was a part of Nature and not just a shadow in the city. A voice called, "Din- ner's ready." Slowly and reluc- tantly, he took his feet out of the flower pot. E3 He took her gently in his arms And pressed her to his breast, The lovely color left her lips And lodged on his full dress. And then there was the can- nibal's daughter who liked the boys best when they were stewed. —Voo Doc r t CRUSHED Minimum of satin, Maximum of style; Long and glittering earrings, Haughty, luring smile. Sophisticated advance, Assurance quite complete; Escort's beaming comment, "Child you look so sweet!" "I hear Jones fell down on his pharmacy examination." "Yes —he got mixed on the difference between a club and a western sandwich." MAY, 1943 31 THE PLACE TO SAVE z� r Soh S R, BUY ..= .. R WAR WAR r ;' BONDS e BONDS BUY STUDENT CO -OP STORE You Don't Need a Ration Card to Get Bargains at the Student Co-Op or to Buy War Bonds and Stamps. 4 -4414 A Block East N. Gate MAY, 1943 31 o4 ' V L_, Lt to gEatown A lonely Texas Aggie, Being just a bit behind, Took a trip to Tea Town To get Aggies off his mind. T his Aggie then began to think He tore out for the highway. With a pleading look upon his face He shouted, "coin' my way ?" T his hell -hole was too much for him — 'Twas such a lonely place The Aggieland he used to know Was gone beyond a trace. T he Aggie Spirit had seen its day Tradition was no more. And all the things he'd fought for Were shoved outside the door. F or all the Ags before him Had left the Spirit burning bright, And now it fell his lot to see It vanish in the night. O h yes, he'd visit Tea Town Where the powder puff controls — He'd see the sippers playing bridge While sipping tea and rolls. H e saw the curly headed boys Who tried to look like men But had never got past mama's skirt, Or had never tasted gin. H e saw the Teahounds slouching by With never a faint "Hello." He saw a blonde yell, "Come on Clyde!" He bashfully whimpered, "No." H e got a ride and thought of Clyde, And said, "Step on the gas!" The Aggie's face was cold with sweat 'Til he stepped onto the campus grass. A fish went by, said "Howdy;" His face lit up like a light. He beamed with pride and muttered, "There comes an end to night!" T he more he thought, the more he beamed This spirit isn't lost. It's merely hung beneath a cloud — The cloud can still be crossed. O h, Aggie Spirit may dwindle While we pause to win a war, But Peace will find the Aggie flock From countries near and far. W e all recall those "good old days," When Aggie men were men. Our pride is lowered, but our Spirit is not! Those days shall come again! ,::-_4n,::-,4 32 THE BATTALION A G G I E S As You Leave US KEEP THAT AGGIE SPIRIT You've Got What It Takes - - The Winning Spirit W E A R E B A C K I N G YOU 10 0 PERCENT THE EXCHANGE STORE AN AGGIE INSTITUTION It's all fighting talk with the "Walkie- Talkie "! e "Company D to Battalion HQ —tanks maneuvering half a mile ahead!" That's a sample of what you'd hear if you listened in on this ° Walkie- Talkie" signalman in action at his portable 2 -way radio at the left. Listen in on him in one of his off-duty moments (below) and you'll get a pretty good idea why Camels are the favorite cig- E� arette with men in the Marines... and in the Iwo Army, the Navy, and the Coast Guard, too. 'First in the Semee The favorite cigarette with men in the Army, Navy, Marines, and the Coast Guard is Camel. (Based on actual sales records in Post Exchanges and Canteens.) W HY do Camels win with men in the services? Every smoker has his own reasons —but this, perhaps, is , most important: Camels are expertly blended from costlier tobaccos— tobac- cos rich in flavor, for lasting enjoyment... extra mild, yet never flat or thin - tasting. That full Camel flavor holds up — pack after pack. Try Camels yourself. Put them to the "T- Zone" test (see Jar right). CAMELS DON'T TIRE MY TASTE_ THEY'RE ALWAYS EASY ON MY THROAT_ IN FACT THEY s� SUIT ME TO _. I' �A WAR WORKER VIRGINIA DONNELLY, Westinghouse Electric and Mfg. Co., makes special radio tubes for com on- nication sets. And, like the men in the mom A000 service, ber favorite cigarette is Camel. WYRDKMb IsmIa M E ` TOBACCOS /` CAMELS -- "*N HAVE GOT WHAT IT TAKES IN TASTE AND EXTRA MILDNESS. GUESS THATS WHY THEY'RE FIRST 7 IN THE SERVICE! R. T. rzei'nolas T3bacca Cu.. Wlrzaton- aale ®. N. C. TheT -Zone" ...where cigarettes are fudged The "T- ZONE " — j Tasce and Throat — is the proving ground for ciga. rettes. Only your , taste and throat can decide which cigarette tastes best to you. . . and how it affects your throat. Based on the experience of millions of smokers, we believe Camels will suit your "T- ZONE" to a "T."