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HomeMy WebLinkAboutBattalion 1936 ti y J ~1 . II / r _ t y 1n: 1 w 4 ~ -03 ~Ijii - r o ce) -Ilk 1 1, 4 t4~. I L U >s , p nn n n v G T .4 4Al a m ift in Santa's whole There's no more acceptable g Cigarettes. Here's bag than a carton of Camel ift roblems* the happy solution to your g P ' p Camels are sure to be appreciated. And enjoyed! mild, fine-tasting Camels, you keep in with irit of Christmas- Enjoy At your dealer's you'1l tune with the cheery sp find this Christmas . r t Camels at mealtime-betwee a oonSeGet an in- package-abeCamel ;l eating for their aid to dig carton-200cigarettes. lift" with a Camel. Camels set you vigorating " MORE EX- ight! They're made fro Tur r kish and Domes PENSIVE TOBACCOS- Another Christm~s special "-wrapped tic -than any other popular brand. GfCamels in Ilahf pp in gay holiday dress. {right, abore} 11CQ Aljbert 1 - to please all the pipe-smokers on Its easy mellow, one full pound of mild, mel- ive them the same §t !ow Prince Albert-the "bite- your list. Just g choose for tbemselt'es less" tobacco-packed in the fragrant tobacco t the National Joy Smoke. cheerful red tin cnd placed in - Prince Albert - smoking tobacco an attractive Christmas gift ~p. A:' is the largest-selling T package. {far left} a tobacco as in the world-as mild and tasty ~ And delighted a man. nd Prince ht red -ands E Here's a full pound of Prince " the tongue. Have brig, not `bite Of Prince Alber, Albert, packed in a real glass Christmas packages O bumidorthatkeeps thetobacco green in perfect condition and be- waiting there early Christmas morning • - • t`' 6 comes a welcome possession. ( wish your friends and relatives the metric Gift wrap. {near left} z / Christmas ever. r %ooY Rht, 1936, It. J.ftevnol s Tobacco l:ompanr. Rin.ton-Salem. N. G. December 16, 1936 IN Tuis 1%%Ulf - - MASTHEAD 8 MERRY CHRISTMAS-YEAH, By G. L. Dearmond . 9 A MESSAGE FROM MEXICO, By Max Peret 10 WHAT THIS COLLEGE NEEDS - 12 CHRISTMAS GIFT! -___14-15 FOOTBALL BULL PEN, By Sam Levine 16 THE BASKETBALL BOYS, By Sam Levine - ----------------------------------------------------------------------------17 SHOW TALK, By Buddy Bentley - _ 18-19 INDEX OF ADVERTISERS Holick & Son - 5 Aggie Cleaners 2 K. Wolens _ 27 Aggieland Barber Shop 7 Lauterstein's 5 Aggieland Pharmacy -27 Liggett & Myers Tobacco Co. - 13 Aggieland Studio - 5 Missouri Pacific Lines 28 Aggieland Service Station 6 Model Cleaners 7 American Tobacco Co. B.C. Norwood's _ -_28 American Steam Laundry 6 Oscar Gregg 23 Assembly Hall - - _28 P. Lorillard Co., Inc. _ _ - 3 Brown & Williamson Tobacco Corp_ 25 Palace Theatre __24 Bullock & Akin __7 R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. (Camels) _ I.F.C. Caldwell's Jewelry Store 2 R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. (Prince Albert) 11 Campus Barber Shop 23 Railway Express Agency, Inc. - 4 Campus Cleaners -28 Sankey Park, Jeweler - 6 Campus Grocery 5 Southern Pacific Lines 26 Casey's Confectionery 2 Student Co-Op --------------------28 Charlie's Food Market _ 5 Waldrop & Co, _ - 2 Deaton Typewriter Exchange 6 Uniform Tailor Shop _ _ - _--______23 Exchange Store I.B.C. Variety Store 5 Greyhound Lines _ 27 Zubik Tailor Shop _ 6 2 THE BATTALION ^ CHRISTMAS GIFTS CALDWELL'S From "A ~r gg> 'eland" JEWELRY STORE ~ You'll be sure to please the "girl friend" h r o. the "home folks" with a Christmas gift r A~ Wishes Each and Every Aggie from Aggieland. A souvenir of your own h Y College is a very appropriate gift. A MERRY CHRISTMAS College Jewelry College Felt Goods} Vanity Cases Pennants And W Bracelets Pillows s }r Y Rings - Pins Banners A HAPPY NEW YEAR Belts and Buckles Stickers j A complete line of Holiday Gifts for, Aggie Jewelers Men, Ladies, and Boys Y A. M. WALDROP & CO. Phone 5 Bryan Two Convenient Stores -Bryan and College "I hear you were out golfing with the college champ the afternoon, Mamie. How does he use the She: What do you think I'd do if you tried to pet woods?" me? "Don't know; we played golf all the time." He: I haven't any idea. She: Aren't you even curious? Spinster- "Arabella, there's a villain pursuing me!" Dumb: I'm off these Collitch boys. Second Spinster- "I'll attend to him." Dora : Me, too. They start holding your hand and First Ditto- "Oh, no you won't. He's pursuing pretty soon they're trying to shuffle the whole deck. me." -Log -Owl y0r We Wish You T O WIN ! rr ?t A MERRY CHRISTMAS You Must r. Look Your BEST • Let Us Prepare Your Clothes For And A The k HAPPY NEW YEAR Holidays CASEY'S CONFECTIONERY ' «y» AGGIE CLEANERS k And He Learned about FRESHNESS from Her! 1940 Owl W 77 % t 4 s 44 #1. l P ~ ~ rv. Ul r ,PV ELY TO .A, rs ~ Y Dwith OPEY'S delicious Delilah dished out fetching freshness 111f o saucy sureness. Always start them off with Double- o ~''y<Mq~~ Mellow Old Golds. They will catch on so much quicker. The two jackets of Cellophane is the first tip-off, and then with the first delightful puff of that mellow, sun-ripened, prize crop tobacco, the light of true freshness will dawn and he'll catch the spirit of things, Christmas included. Zll', h1 r._QUICKI Outer Cellophane Jacket opens from the Bottom. Yes mdeedy, and you'll get a bigger kick out of that Inner Cellophane Jacket opens from the Top. Kriss Kringle Kiss it will be factory fresh. Copr., 1036, by P. Lorillard Co., Inc. PRIZE CROP TOBACCOS h1AKE THEM DOUBLE-MELLOW 2 JACKETS OF "CELLOPHANE" KEEP THE,%1 FACTORY-FRESH 4 THE BATTALION A winsome maid "Are you a college man'?" Stood in his track, "No, a horse just stepped on my hat." He checked his horse And held him back. He swished his tail And shook his flanks. He heard the toot, but tried to scoot (Of course, I mean And beat the choo-choo to it. The horse, you cranks.) The poor galoot now twangs a lute- Take heed, and don't you do it. He stepped down, bowed, And kissed her hand. She kissed his lips. He kissed her-and "We really must get a new car, John." A soft nay, nay "What-when we're still paying installments on Was heard just once. the car I exchanged for the car I sold in part payment (Of course it was the for the car we've got now?" Horse, you dunce.) -Puppet Facetious One-Why so gloomy, old chap? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ BAGGAGE Gloomy One-Just heard my uncle has cut me out of his will. He's altered it five times in the last two years. and F. O.-Ha! Evidently a fresh heir fiend-what! TRoUSLIESOMIE She-Do you know what good clean tun is'.' RUNKS669Skifs ' CM He-I'll bite. What good is it? The technical name for snoring is sheet music. fy,;, - t The Sunday-school teacher was from Boston and t~of' course thought everyone said grace before and after meals. Nevertheless she thought it best to en- (JUire and see if new pupils understood the meaning of You'll shed a vacation vexation at one eccnemical s!r-ke. the prayer. Simply pack up and phone Railway Express when to come. "Willie," she asked the first urchin, "what dcu Your baggage will be picked up, shipped on swift express your father do just b-efore eating?" trains, delivered promptly at your home. For the return trip, "He saes grace," replied Willie. you merely reverse. No extra charge for pick-up and deliv- "And what does he do after eatingery in cities and principal towns, and the shippi:rg costs arj "He pushes back his chair and belches," was the practically negligible, when compared with local draymen's eloquent reply. charges, etc., and the time you spend waiting. Also, Railway -Frosh Express rates always include insurance up to $50 on each shipment, without extra expense. The main thing is to notify Railway Express when to call. That done, you can climb aboard the train and enjoy the scenery. You'll be off for a "Where'd yawl git that Southern accent'?" Merry Chr.::tmas. RAILWAY EXPRESS AGENCY, INC. "Honey-chile, I'se been drinking outen a Dixie So. Pac. Depot 'Phone s t'up. -Yellow Jacket College Station, Texas RAiLwAy Expiinss AGP r1CV INC. Every woman likes to be taken with a grain of i `salt, _-NATION-WIDE RAIL-AIR SERVICE December 16, 1936 5 WE THANK YOU, AGGIES FOR CHRISTMAS the the one gift that only you For your patronage in the past and take this can give opportunity to wish you -YOUR PHOTOGRAPH A MERRY CHRISTMAS We Wish You A Merry Christmas And a joyous time through the holidays And A Happy New Year! CAMPUS GROCERY AGGIELAND STUDIO j North Gate JOE SOSOLIK, Prop. If you love me So youse guys think this is the age of speed, eh? Like I love you Well, don't forget that Helen of Troy made Paris in Then, shame on US. two hours. MERRY CHRISTMAS LET US SAY THANK YOU AND ' FOR YOUR PATRONAGE HAPPY NEW YEAR We have enjoyed serving you ...and wish you a MERRY XMAS and A HAPPY MEN NEW YEAR CHARLIE'S FOOD MARKET THE VARIETY STORE North Gate North Gate _ Farmer (to daughter just returned from college) : "Dat am suttonly a hot lil' flivver you got dere, "How much do you weigh now?" George." Farm Angel: "I weigh 140 pounds undressed for "It sho is, baby, an' I'se gonna take you out in it gyni." as soon as I gets mly licentious plates." Farmer: "Anil .jua who is .Jim?" -Rice Owl ~.{:i.-.,~ 41 A G G I E S IN SINCERE. APPRECIATION OF LAUTERSTEIN'S YOUR PAST PATRONAGE Wish You WE WISH YOU THE HEARTIEST MERRY CHRISMAS MERRY CHRISTMAS AND AND HAPPY NEW YEAR HOLICK AND SON HAPPY NEW YEAR North Gate r-.tea u° X' N; 6 THE BATTALION DR. W. H. BUC H ANAN ° Roses are blue, We Wish You } CHIROPRACTOR _ Violets are pink 24 Astin Building Immediately after A Merry Christmash Bryan. The thirteenth drink. And A ,c. Happy Ney Year AGGIES f , . ZUBIK'S Auto Repair Wife: How do you like my new gown. 1 got it At for a ridiculous price. UNIFORM TAILORS A Price You Hubby: You mean you got it for an absurd figure., Can Bear Motor Overhauling General Repair ~ Aggieland II x;- "Father, what does it mean when it says here, Service Station 'Then spake Ulysses with winged word' '"5i;,• Phone 123 "Easy, son; what could it be but fowl language?" College Station t There Nvas a den..;, fog and the officer on the PAY As You use iTi bridge was becoming more and more exasperated. GREAT TO GIVE As he leaned over the side of the bridge, trying GREAT TO OWN to pierce the gloom, he saw a hazy figure leaning on a OWN A • U~ rail a few yards from his ship. He almost choked. ROYAL "What do you think you're doing with your blink- AND OWN THE k ing ship?" he roared. "Don't you know the rules of the BEST sea?„ x "This ain't no blinkin' ship, guv'nor," said a quiet Guy H. Deaton voice. "This 'ere's a lighthouse." TYPEWRITER -Exchange r EXCHANGE? 270 Main f ' Phone Bryan 25=1J Bryan. Texas She: Are you in the Signal Corps? , He: No, I'm just naturally repulsive. t 4 4 j° TO Your Nurse: "I think he's regaining consciousness, doc- ;TF tor; he has just tried to blow the foam off his medi- The Same Old ' WARDROBF. ~ cure." and have it all clean- WISH ed and pressed be- Early to bed, early to rise- , fore Christmas. And your girl goes out with other guys. Kitty Kat Sincere Way Hope You Have A - MERRY MERRY, MERRY HOLIDAY << CHRISTMAS Sign on sheriffs desk: Out for lynch-back at AMERICAN one oclock." AND MAY THE STEAM NEW YEAR BE THE BEST YET LAUNDRY She: "That's a mail plane." He: "Say, you've got darned good eyes." -Pet-Mell S A N K E Y DRY PARK CLEANERS Justice: "Do you take this woman for butter or Diamonds- Watches worst?" Bryan Groom: "Oh, liver alone; I never sausage nerve." Silveri -Log -Y December 16, 1936 7 He: I'm feeling a little frail tonight.. She: Will you stop calling me that? 1 A G G I E S A bunch of germs were hitting it up We Extend To You The In the bronchial saloon; SEASON'S GREETINGS Two bugs on the edge of the larynx Were jazzing a ragtime tune. MODEL CLEANERS Back in the teeth, in a solo game, Sat the dangerous Ask-Kerchoo; BRYAN And matching his pulse was his light of love- The lady- that's known as Flu. "(w and Vet the name of the wcident victini Sn that ~+'e can inform his mother." "LISTEN He saes his mother krnows his name." AGGIES " JinIniV. can '-ou gig e me the uamea of two melt As We Were ho have made a million?" "Khip, 'Solomon and BriLrharli l"nnn SAYING Don't Lose Sleep "I kN-as doing a uiftY dance at a stag party Mien Over Those Xmas .t cOp walked in." Gifts. "I)id he pinch you?" "Sn UST re: J he was nn different from thn rest Bring Your Want List And Let Us "I N%nnder it I could n-lsthe \„u m(di in nl~ Show You \o: I'm lint that -,ft wnd nut tiu:t II(,t. What can we suggest for- DAD - MOTHER - SISTER "I guess your (late wasn't so good last night- BROTHER dwi't try to tell me you got that black eye off a bed AND THAT I didn't get anywhere near a bed post." Sweet Little Thing SUGGESTIONS ' r < 4-1 ,-4-- a-; ; Leather Coats Ladies Hosiery "I .s Sport Sweaters Silk Robes SEASONS GREETINGS Silk or Wool Scarfs Silk Pajamas Belt or Suspender Top Coats ' TO Ever , Sets Arrow Underwear Every Arrow Shirts & Ties Ladies Fitted Cases A G G I E Traveling Sets House Shoes d. The Largest $1.00 Line Of Novelty Gifts We Have Appreciated , In Bryan d. Your Patronage) COME EARLY AND LET US SHOW YOU :l THE MANY NEW IDEAS FOR AGGIELAND BARBER SHOP 'P 1 THE SEASON North Gate r BULLOCK & AKIN ' 8 THE BATTALION Itt 6TUDn'r PUDLICATION OP Tilt 4-4-M CLCtttGt Ct TtXAS COLLC6L 6TATI0N TnW vcLUME 3C NIJAUM 13 THE STAFF Tom M. Brown.- Editor W. R. Richman .........._._.____Advertising Manager Graves L. De Armond. ............Managing Editor Sam Levine. _...__.....-......Sports Editor Paul Walker Art Editor J. It Love......................... Manager H. Gruy and D. H. Bancroft. ..._....Humor Editors George "Buddy" Bentley and Arthur K. Brown _.._Associate Editor;; ASSISTANT ADVERTISING MANAGERS ASSISTANT CIRCULATION MANAGERS T. F. Cook W. K Hubbard C. W. Uhr J. C. Dietz E. B. Sale A Merry Christmas and f A Happy New Year u i December 16, 1936 9 Merry GLVL*SfYY1aS!--Yeatt By G. L. De AL m,ond As these weeks, so generously designated as the store where the gang used to get together. Well, I Christmas holidays, approach, the thought occurs to felt a slight pang, which should have been a warning, one who has seen three such periods pass into blissful when I noticed that it was a different crowd gabbing oblivion to review them, or perhaps one of them, from and clowning on the walk. Some were acquaintances his present place. Limitations set by varying agencies, and spoke as I walked by but most of them just sus- the editor, some of our readers, and the society from pended operations and stare questioningly at "the which we are so well removed, will prevent the most army." vi% id expression. I passed on and promptly forgot that as the "old You have, no doubt, gathered by now that I am at homestead" came in view and I began to plan opera- least a four year man at this illustrious institution of tions for the glorious two weeks ahead. What a con- higher learning, and by some strange coincidence I quest I was going to make; oh, the hearts I was going am also what is technically known as a senior. In order to break. After the usual greetings and questions, some to simplify matters you may call me Joe; some people of which I skillfully evaded, from the family, I pro- do, but if that doesn't suit your fancy, use your own ceeded to get into "tits" by struggling with last year's substitute. suit which had been Reveries have a pecul- thoughtfully aired and laid iar habit of leaving some out, and I was ready for a people in a frame of mind" " saunter downtown to the old haunts which were call- commonly known as the "blues," but me-never. At ing. least very seldom. I derive Carefully dodging the a malicious pleasure from corner drug store, I started , reflections upon what was on the rounds. Now it hap- done and what should have pens that the home town is !One, maybe. very close indeed to anoth- Memories of the holi- er and a rival college. As i my freshman year "N you remember our football u"e rather hazy and fail to team that year failed to get V ~"ause even any regrets at 3, I results on the scorebord, 1 his late date. Perhaps this, and it was the same story 01 is because they were not so wherever I went. The ma- tar removed from my high jority, who favored this school days, or was it be- other school, gave me the ause I could brag loudly to all who would listen of merry razz rather than a cheery greeting, and the i he very convincing farewell from the big and brawny miserable few who still supported the Maroon and assmen of that day and time? White met me with long faces and a pitying, "What's it not so with that half-way mark of my sopho- wrong with those boys clown there?" I was pretty ear. Somehow or other I had acquired some part sore by the time I decided to call it a day and go home. )i that "college spirit" and was proud of my school, "But," I consoled myself, "I can call up some of the old ready to defend it against attacks at the hands of crowd and we'll go somewhere and have a good time." outsiders, but found small consolation in that. As if That looked good-in pipe dreams, and at a dis- hat wasn't enough I had subconsciously began to con- tance. 1'orm only too well to the pattern of the typical cadet. When I started thinking about some girl to call, I didn't chose women, but I liked the girls-all of 'em. well, you'd be surprised to know how many of them 1 wasn't a drunkard, but I liked an "old-fashioned" I had remembered hearing about being married. That tiow and then. Neither was I an inveterate smoker, but eliminated quite a few of the number. The first two a man's best friend. attempts were unsuccessful because of the absence of cre is a brief picture of the Aggie who alighted the desired party. Gosh, some people can sound sur- Aer's afternoon from a friendly tourist's car prised when you ask for someone who is out-they ii any Texas town or city of average size. Boy, doesn't must expect you to know that the person you want lie old square look familiar? There's the five-and-ten, isn't there. The third attempt resulted in a decided, he local ,,how house (a second-run picture you've al- positive, and arctic edition of the word, "NO." That 10 nn THE BATTALION A Messa8e from rom Mexico By Max Perel Mercado's Typica Mexican Orchestra and enter- ducing rhythmic and peculiar sounds. Topnaztli, anoth- tainers, who were picked by the Mexican Government er percussion instrument, was originated by the Mayan for thirteen weeks broadcast over the National Broad- Indians and is played with two sticks similarly to the casting Company Network for the purpose of cement- El Quiro. Only with the use of these instruments can ing the friendship of the United States and Mexico, the full effect desired by the composed be realized. will appear in concert in Guion Hall Saturday night, Featured with the orchestra is Senorita Lolita February 9th. Valdez. Still in her early twenties, she has a notable To many Americans, Mexico is a land of revolu- career well under way. Appearing in her first stage tions, dashing banditry and long siestas of undisturb- appearance with the New York Grand Opera Company, ed relaxation between the clashes of arms. But in few the following season Senorita Valdez sang wit hthe countries do we find a greater atmospheric lure on a New York Light Opera Guild. She then sang with the more romantic espect as in the warm gracious repub- Madrigal Society of America and appeared twice on the lic to the south. stage of Carnegie Hall. Also touring the United States Yes, it is true that Mexico was formerly an irre- with the orchestra is Senor Gustavo Corrasco, one of sponsible child among the nations of the world, but the best known young Ltin-American tenors. Senor few countries have the air of romance to exist through Corrasco was born and educated in Havana. After re.. the hardships, persecution and trouble as did Mexico. ceiving Behelor of Science and Bachelor of Laws de- And through the history music has been a medium grees from the University of Havana, he then studied of recording the trials, hardships, and romances which voice under internationally known teachers in Europe the country has passed in its advancement. This is and the United States. Music critics have just about true of Mexico and due to the extraordinary circum- run out of adjectives praising Senor Carrasco's voice stances a music different from all other types has come and interpretations. from this picturesque After appearing country. w in many important Through the use f ' s engagements in the of instruments origi- x Y' f z east, one in Radio nated by natives and s City Music Hall, the music composed by Odeja Dancers were natives of Mexico, k` selected to tour with Mercaco's T i p i c a Mercado and his Ti- Mexican Orchestra a yk, pica Orchestra. The brings a musical pie- d a s h i n g brilliance, w ture of the wars, the the absorbing intent- - romances, as well as Q ness and the fiery the kindliness and, enthusiasm w h i c h humbleness of the are so typical of the people of true Old v dance in the southern Mexico. The Salterio latitudes are well ex- which resembles the emplified by the xr- Zither, is a string in- tistic work of Lui:< strument which has and Josefina Ofedi,. a soft sweet tone. El 5 The success Quiro, another native the orchestra mi;t"ii be attributed to i instrument used in the orchestra is made director Senor An~,.,'I 0x_ J. Mercado beenu- from a dried pump- ry of his knowledge kin. It is several feet ~u t Mexican music < long with a numbers his interpretation of grooves on its sur- x N: this type of mu,i, face. A weed stick; p~ Senor Mercado rr about the size of a Y ived his early ed u pencil is rubbed on tion at the ill a these grooves, pro- Luis and Josefina Ojeda, Dance Team (Con. on Page December 16, 1936 11 9 HI, C' UBBINS OH, HEt KINDA A FINE BRIAR CANT Do IT FAS . WHAT'S CHARLES PEEvISH BECAUSE ALL RIGHT, BUT YOU I HAVE A LOOKING SO HE LOST HIS OLD DONLT SEEM TO BE SENSITIVE ZOIJCyl1F GLUM ABOUT? PIPE AND HAD MAKING MUCH JUDGE -AND A A 70 BUY A NEW ONE HEADWAY NEW PIPE ALWAYS BREAKING IT IN STINGSAND BUQNS ~ m ICS SKATING LISTEN SON, TAKE AZIP Y:>U OUG IT"S NICE GOSH,CHUBBINS, WELL, DID DID 'THEY ? IUD FROM AN OLD TIMER. TO KNOW, TO SEE WHO WOULDN'T CHARLES AND CALL IT A CASE BREAK IN `OUR PIPE JUDGE, I YOU SMILE?THIS P. A. PA. AGREE OF LOVE AT FIRST WITH PRINCE ALBERT WILL SMILING IS AS SMOC7TH WITH EACH PUFF! D AVOID TONGUE -BMN6 AGAIN AND TASTY AS OTHER? UNPLEASANTNESS CAN BE. AND r IT DOESN'T BITE MY -TONGUE r o - r III v ft . r.p> rhh~, I936, R. J. 111-,,hk T.[--(7, mp-y PRINCE ALBERT SPEAKS FOR ITSELF- III Prince Albert is as tasty and mel- to take out "bite." Then, cut the s low as Nature and man, both scientific way-"crimp cut." It's U 0 0 r working together, can make it. bound to be mellow, tasty, slow- The tobaccos in P. A. are among burning tobacco that suits steady the chcicestgrow n-expertly cured, pipe smokers to a T. Prince Albert carefully matured. As the crown- is great tobacco for roll-your-own ing touch, every leaf is processed cigarettes too. ~i PRINCE ALBERT MUST PLEASE YOU Smoke 20 fragrant pipefuls of Prince Albert. If you don't find it the mellowest, tastiest pipe tobacco you ever smoked, return the ' pocket tin with the rest of the tobacco in it to us at any time with- in a mon'h from this date, and we wi;l refund full purchase price, plus postage. (Sivied) R. .1. Reynolds Tobacco Co., Winston-Salem, N. C. GE ALB ERT THE NATIONAL III " JOY SMOKE 50 pipefuls of fragrant tobacco in every 2- 1. tin of Prince . thert 12 Scene: Large Office. Time: Consultation time, December 19. paid fire department crew and a few more healthy Characters: Too many. fire plugs scattered about the terrain. Guess why. President Walton: As I see it, what we need most (As the curtain rises there is an angry drone of is the addition of two new dormitories. Those we have conferring voices.) are of insufficient capacity for the accommodation of the large enrollments to be expected. The school is President Walton: Quiet, gentlemen, quiet! We growing and the buildings must grow with it, else we will now proceed in orderly manner with our allotted be bound in the midst of our most important period task of deciding once and for all what this college of growth and result in a deformed maturity, like a needs. Of course, getting what it needs is entirely hunchback. Or perhaps become anaemic and perish another matter, but we are at least allowed to decide away completely. What we need is dormitories, and we what it needs. Please be recognized before you speak. need 'em right now. Did you wish to say something, All right, Doctor Mayo, you come first. Mr. Lee? Doctor Mayo: What this college needs is books! Cadet Colonel Lee: Yes. What this college needs More books, better books, and more room to put books. is a closer unity in the senior class. Every senior should We must be a liberal people; we must be cultured. We voice his opinions on all issues openly and sincerely, must cultivate our individualities. And how do we do and should vote his say. But when the majority wins, this? By reading books. Books are the source of in- the whole class should back that decision to the inch. formation we need. Let every man be an individual United we stand, divided we sit up until two o'clock thinker, and give every man a chance to become an in the morning talking about why don't somebody do individual thinker. The student was born with a brain something. Which is fun, but don't get anybody to (in most cases, that is) and we are in the process of first base. teaching him how to use it. Now let us, for the good Doctor Mayo : What we need is books and liberal of the country, allow him to use it! Let us allow him thinking. to consume all the knowledge he can and then draw his Colonel Anderson: What we need is discipline and own conclusions. r-r-r-regimentation. President Walton: Colonel Anderson, you may Coach Norton: What we need is more and more have the floor. football players. Colonel Anderson : What this college needs is r-r-r- Mr. Hooker : You said it. r-regimentation. Perfect discipline is the answer to Professor Finney: What we need is a fire depart- every problem on this campus. Every man must learn ment. to limit his activities to only those which are smiled upon by the authorities. Discipline! It never hurt any- President Walton : I think we should consider dor- one. It is the making of a man. R-r-r-regimentation is mitories as one of the most pressing needs. what we need. Four thousand men move as one, think Cadet Colonel Lee: We need unity in the senior as one, act as one, and (if Spain keeps up the good class. work) will probably die as one. R-r-r-regimentation is the salvation. I Doctor Mayo: Books! President Walton: Now, Coach Norton, the floor Colonel Anderson: Regimentation! is yours. Coach Norton: Well, it's easy enough to see what Coach Norton: Football players! this school needs. Anybody could guess right off the Mr. Hooker Football players! bat. It's more football players. Those we have are plenty good. Look what they did this year. Better than Professor Finney: Fire department ! any team in a mighty long time, eh? Well, we want to keep right on going up, so we'll have to replace the Cadet Colonel Lee: Unity! boys we lose with other boys just as good or better. Let's do this thing right, gentlemen, and gobble every President Walton : Gentlemen, gentlemen. Please. promising high school boy in sight. Eh, Mr. Hooker? Order! What this college needs is a rest. Good day and Mr. Hooker: Aye, Mr. Norton. a Merry Christmas. F ~ !q , a- And I wish you many of them.. . fiap CGA £TT c t: © 1936, I.ICGFTT hfN ces TOBACCO Co. J ~ GO TO MR..C.M.15ROOKS TO THE FIRE DEPT. A MEQQY CHRISTMAS AND A N • G~ i Co 1J Gp O ~ ro 4 TO ROMER NORTON TO SANTY PY NEW YEAQ ~n r\ Ik A SANITY HEW-HEH- lE; HE BATTALION FOOTBALL BULL PLN By Sam Levine As a connoisseur of "bull sessions," and any kadet that night. I thought that Johnny was married and from Aggieland may well be qualified as a connois- settled down by now." seur in that very popular pastime, the most interest- DeWare explained that" maybe it was Morrow's ing and unique one we have yet had the pleasure to wife that he wanted to see and then started talking listen in on took place in Ramp A, Walton Hall a few about the game. clays after the football season had ended. "Say, `Panting Annie' (referring to John Whit- It was a cold evening and since most of the Maroon field) didn't that Manhattan tackle you were playing and White gridiron warriors had the evening off, they against get pretty rough?" naturally migrated to Johnny Morrow's room. In thi, "Aw yes, on one play I caught him around his particular "bull session" Charlie DeWare seemed to nose protector and slung him down on the ground. be master of ceremonies. He started off with a crack When he got up he claimed that he was going to get about his "old lady," Les "Lip" Cummings. me on the next play. About that time the ball was "You know," he said, "I sure did pull a dirty trick snapped and this guy came charging in with his fist on Lip in that Manhattan game. Old Les had a date cocked back. I stepped aside and let him have one down and was expecting to do a little stepping out af- square in the face. It was funny how that big husky ter the game, but accidentally in the last quarter I tackle hit the ground face first. I thought sure that trot my knee in his mouth and split his lip wide open. the referee would see that one, but I guess he didn't. I'll bet his gal was plenty disappointed that night." That tough Yankee was a very nice tackle from then "You son-of-a-gun," Cummings retorted, "if I on." thought that you did that on purpose you would sleep "Slick" Rogers started grinning about that time wet the rest of the year. And anyways you didn't do so and Charlie DeWare asked him what he was thinking well with that brunette either. If I remember right, about. you got your kisser mashed up pretty badly a few plays "You remember when I first went in as a substi- later. Of course, I didn't do it on purpose." tute in the game, that guy Kringle hit me-pretty hard. "Oh well, I guess we came out pretty evenly," said When we got up, he said, `Cheez but you're a young Charlie, "but wasn't our bashful little Bobby Nesrsta kid. From now on I will try not to hurt you.' Well, on hitting it high, wide, and handsome at the dance that the next play, I broke through and nailed Kringle for a night." two yard loss. Do you reckon he let me do that?" "What do you mean, I only had one little drink "That reminds me," remarked Cummings, "com- that night," retorted Bobby. ing on the field in the second half of the T. C. U. game "Yeah, it seems funny that you got up before the last year, this fellow Kline was kidding me how bad the microphone on the stage with your date and started Frogs were beating us. That got me kind of mad, so crooning. I can imagine you doing that sober." the next chance I got, I put everything I had into a "But I didn't croon," Nesrsta said. (living body block on Kline. They had to carry him of,' "Well, that was only because the Aggieland Or- the field." chestra thought you would be pretty punk and called Cummings continued, "When I was walking off at an intermission about the time you hit the first sour the end of the game, Kline who was laid out on a note," replied DeWare. stretcher on the side lines, yelled out, `You got me on "And also, what is this we hear about yours and that last play, fellow, I've got two broken ribs.' " Jimmy Shockey's date never having ridden on an ele- "Talking about T. C. U. games," said Charlie De- vator before. They tell us that after the first ride on Ware, "in the scrap this year little "Chink" Manning the elevator at the Blackstone, she liked it so much, was still on the ground after everyone had gotten up. she kept making the elevator girl go up and down so Of course, we knew his trick knee was out of joint, so much that the elevator finally broke down.." we sent Johnny out to pull it in place. Johnny started kv "You kno ,tn good and well that is right," to pull one leg, but "Chink" told him to pull the other yelled Shockey, was hot and our (late said she en- one in first because it hurt the most. On that play, both joyed the breeze eated by the elevator going up and of Manning's knees had been knocked out of ,joint. dow'n•" Little "Chink" shore is a tough egg." "Yeh, now don't that sound like a good excuse," "Yes, and that reminds me of the tough egg that came back "Walla Walla" Sikes, "but say, I wonder Joe Routt cooled down in the Texas University game," what Johnny Morrow- was so disappointed about when the coach told him that h(~ couldn't stay over in Tyler (Continued on Page 25) December 16, 1936 17 Our R,_,LA.11 Boys By Sam Levine With competition in the conference becoming This array of excellent material in the hands of even greater, Coach "Bo" McMillan's Texas Aggie Glen Rose, Razorback coach, seems very imposing, but Basketeers will find exceptionally tough going for the the Rice Owls are letting nothing subdue their quest coming season on the hardwood floors. But even at for the pennant. that the outlook for the year of '37 is much brighter Coach Jimmy Kitts has seven lettermen of his than it has been in a long time. old squad back. When such ald hands at the game of Coach McQuillan reports one of the largest squads basketball as Kitts says he is going somewheres, then that he has had to work with since the beginning of you can watch out for the consequences. The Houston his career at Texas A. and M. College. Approximately Night Birds finished third in the Southwest Confer- twenty-five first rate players are working out daily, ence but are expecting to go higher. and competition for places on the squad has become Their lettermen are Captain Harris "Tightwad" very keen. Lodge, Wade Owen, Willis Orr, Red Steele, Mike Seale, Outstanding candidates for the tea mare the re- Aaron 'Stanford, and Ike Klindworth. They will play turning lettermen from last year's squad. Captain Ed L. S. U. during the Christmas holidays. Lee and Pete Dowling have the guard posts pretty The Horned Frog basketball squad will be small well filled out. Lee played forward last year but was but tll for the current campaign. Only one man is under shifted to guard position to bolster that weak spot six feet. Ten men are working out now under the in the line-up. Dowling was changed from center be- coaching of Dutch Meyer. The squad will be greatly cause that place has been considerably strengthened handicapped because of football season extending to by new men. such a late date. Clyde Jones, one of the high scorers on last year's Only three lettermen will be available for the for- crew, is back as a forward. He also plays center at ward posts. Captain Will Walls, Walter Roach, and times. Other returning lettermen forwards are Paul Vernon Brown will probably carry the burden for that Evans, Virgil Harris, Everett Clark, and Jack Crich- place. ton. Sammy Baugh will be the only letterman at guard. Russell Hensch, frosh center last year, and Jay Smith, Johnny Morrow and Walter Roberts will be the are the others trying for guard positions. only experienced guards, but Coach McQuillan is ex- ectin The Baylor Bears suffered greatly from gradua- P g help from Jess Landrum C. P. Dvis> and E. tion casualties. Lost from last years outfit are Theo. F. Coyle. Alford, twice all-conference forward; Hugh Wilfong, Lewis Freiberger, six foot seven and one-half inch John Williams, Kyle Alford, and Earl Wray. But re- center, Herbert Knowles, and Lloyd Freeman make up turning are Ken Clark, Jelly SoRelle, Wilson White, the remainder of the most promising candidates. and John Avery. When this crew meets the strong University of Coach Ralph Wolf has a six foot five and one-half Southern California outfit Friday, December 18, every- inch goal-looper in Hubert Kirkpatrick. If he should one will be able to tell just about how strong the Ag- pan out as Coach Wolf believes he will, then Baylor will I vie quint will be. The U. S. C. team represented their possess one of the high scorers in the conference. conference in the Olympics tournament at New York This review of the Southwest Conference stars last year and is known to be one of the best teams in may lead one to think that the Aggies have a very the nation. Should the Maroon and White Cagers play little chance of bettering their past record but only on even terms with them, they will finish the season the actual records made by each team at the end of ,,omewhere in the first four berths. the season can tell where they will end up. The Southwest Conference Champion Razorbacks :ire out to repeat their performance of the past season. .hissing from the team are the all-conference stars, Jim Lee Howell, H. L. "Ike" Poole, and Ken Lunday, ; ack of all trades on the court and starcenter on the i ootball team. With the exception of Captain Martin, w :ill of the Porkers' returning lettermen are well over -ix feet tall. Some of the outstanding lettermen are MC Captain Bobbie Martin, senior guard; Elwin Gilliland, p M e all-conference last season; Don Lockard, who shot the 9 tl4-win11inV t*oal last -wwon: •Ta~k R(l)hiw4. ctar font- " 1$ THE BATTALION Show Talk-- y "Buddy' Bentley AT THE ASSEMBLY HALL- her to return to the jungle with him. He is aware that Wed: "The Great Ziegfeld." it will save his brother, who is actually in love with Sat: "Love Before Breakfast." another woman. In the jungle, facing the malady of Fri: "His Brother's Wife." (Special holiday show). the spotted fever, the youth determines to inject him- self with the germ in order to experiment. The girl AT THE PALACE- riticipates him and injects the virus into her own veins. Thurs., Fri., and Sat.: "Cain and Mabel." In his flight to save her the scientist not only restores Sat. Preview, Sun., Mon.: "Pennies, From Heaven." their love but discovers the secret of the jungle for Tue., Wed.: "The Luckiest Girl in the World." which he has been searching. * * * Thurs., Fri., and Sat. at the Palace: "Cain and Mabel." Wed. at the Assembly Hall: "The Great Ziegfeld." Based on the story of H. C. Witwer, who wrote so From the vivid and colorful career of a great and familiarly of Broadway and the fight arena, the plot famous showman comes the heartily amusing and high- carries more substance than that of the usual musical ly sentamentalized screen play "The Great Ziegfeld." comedy. The romance is woven about Marion Davies In true episodic fashion the story is told of Zieg- as a beautiful waitress who rises to stardom on the feld's early rise to glory, aided by Sandow, that furore musical comedy stage and Clark Gable as an heroic of an earlier decade, and the nimble witted ability of youth who battles his way to fame in the prize ring. the young impresario to captivate all stars and poten- The picture is filled with catchy musical airs and tial stars of his friendly enemy, Billings. gigantic specialty numbers in which one hundred and The picture is mostly William Powell's in the sixty beautiful chorus girls take part, in addition to title role, but the whole cast is excellent. Even though its hilarious comedy, its glowing romance nd mny the brunt of the acting falls upon the shoulders of thrills. Powell, there are others in the cast just as brilliant-- Among those who add greatly to the hilarious particularly Luise Rainer, Myrna Loy, and Frank Mor- laughter of the production are Allen Jenkins, Roscoe gan, who as Billings makes an ideal foil for Powell's Karns, Walter Catlett, David Carlyle, Hobart Cava- more dynamic Ziegfeld. naugh, and William Collier, Sr. Sat. at the Assembly Hall: "Love Before Breakfast." Sat. Preview, Sun., Mon. at the Palace : "Pennies From A smart, sophisticated comedy starring Carole Heaven." Lombard and Preston Foster. Bing Crosby's latest hit in which Madge Evans, The story reflects the modern attitude toward ro- Edith Fellows, and Louis Armstrong and his band may mance and gains its effect through the laughable situa- be seen. tions and witty dialogue. The story concerns a vagabond trobadour who Carole portrays a self determined, opinionated falls in with a little girl and her impoverished grand- young woman who believes she wants to marry two father and proceeds to take them under his somewhat different young men and who wants to hold on to patched up wing. The child is about to be sent to an them until she can decide which one she prefers to orphanage and the elderly man to an Old People's marry. Home when the vagabond hits upon a plan to make The climax comes to its crest on the waves of a enough money for all three of them to live on. storm at sea when Lombard gets soaked, one of her The county welfare worker who is responsible for suitors gets boiled, and the other brave lad gets tied up in the bonds of matrimony with Carole. the child happens to be the type of girl the troubadour * * * can love and he finds himself doing it thoroughly. Fri. at the Assembly Hall: "His Brother's Wife." However, they are on opposite sides of the fence, hence Features Barbara Stanwyck and Robert Taylor. complications. Things manage to work out for the best Taylor, now the most popular star in Hollywood ap- along towards the end of the picture and as usual we pears as a brilliant young scientist who is about to see the happy ending. lead an expedition into the jungle to master a dreaded Of course, a real source of enjoyment is in hearing disease. In taking a final fling at New York he meets Bing sing some of the best songs of his career. The lovely Barbara Stanwyck in a gambling casino and numbers-"Let's Call A Heart A Heart," "Pennies falls in love with her. His brother (John Eldredge) From Heaven," "So Do I," and "One, Two Button Your dissuades him from abandoning the expedition and Shoe" are from the pens of Arthur Johnston and John the youth heads into the jungle. In revenge the girl Burke who have collaborated before to produce such marries the brother. Returning, the half crazed young hits as "Just One More Chance," "Moonstruck," and scientist makes love to his brother's wife and persuades "The Beat of My Heart." December 16, 1936 19 BROADCAST B ROWS 1 N G YULETIDE ON THE ETHER Twentieth Century-Fox will also feature Walter's arch-enemy, Ben Bernie. Jergen's news flashes must General Motors plans for a true Christmas con- then perforce emenate from the flicker center. cert an array of talent gathered from the best enter- tainers to be had. The program follows a serious trend ROOSEVELT TO GREET COUNTRY CHRISTMAS of music in which is included the more classical types. EVE At 10:00 p.m., E.S.T.., on December 20, Rose Bampton, celebrated Metropolitan Opera mezzo-soprano who hs Prsident F. D. Roosevelt will extend Christmas M1 keen obtained for the concert, will sing "Connais to le greetings to the nation over N.B.C.-Blue from Wash- pays" from Thomas' "Mignon," and "Vissi d' arte" ington during the capital's community Christmas Tree from Puccini's "Tosca." ceremonies to be broadcast from 5:00 to 5:30 p.m., Sacred music has been selected from Gounod's E.S.T., on Christmas Eve, December 24. "Redemption," Bach's "Christmas Contata," and Mo- A Boy Scout will greet the President on behalf of sent's "Le Cid." The entire "Christmas Overture," by the people of America and a Girl Scout will greet Mrs. Coleridge-Taylor will be played by the orchestra under Roosevelt. The capital's Christmas tree will be in La- the baton of Erno Rapee. Kessel's "Glory to God" fayette Square. Music will be furnished by the U. S. forms the fitting finale with the entire ensemble par- Marine Band and the University of Mryland Glee ticipating. Those interested in the classical side of Clubs. Christmas music will enjoy this N.B.C. presentation over its Red Network. NEW SERENADE PROGRAM STARS FREDDY * * * MARTIN NEW WOODBURY PROGRAM TRIES VARIETY Add to the list of N.B.C. orchestra leaders who A half-hourof assorted amusement is offered over are noted for their "sax" appeal the name of Freddy N.B.C.-Blue at 9:15 p.m., E.S.T., as the new Woodbury Martin, musical generalissimo of the 1937 Pent-house program replaces Paul Whiteman's Musical Varieties. Serenade, which he returned to the N.B.C. Networks The music will have a wider scope as Shep Fields' dis- on Sunday, December 6. tinctive dance music is alternated with semi-classical Martin first demonstrated a talent for rhythm and classical selections by Graham Harris' Symphonic as a drummer boy at eight years of age. He began tak- Group. ing saxaphone lessons as a high school boy. He became For comedy, Judy Canova and her sister Annie so proficient, that on leaving school to become a musi- with brother Zeke, the three hillbilly cutups, will ap- cal instrument salesman, his band leader clients urged pear. A large chorus singing to a background of him to specialize on the sax and organize a small band Graham Harris' solon music, will be a fourth phase of of his own. Following their advice, Martin developed a entertainment, and Frank Parker, noted tenor, will do technique which was soon to make him famous. Today, the solo work. the Cleveland-born maestro forsakes the use of a baton * * * and conducts while playing the sax. Lucille Manners joins Cities Service Concert re- The Penthouse Serenade, broadcast over the _I placing Jessica Dragonette. Lucille Manners, golden- N.B.C.-Red on Sundays at 4:00 p.m., E.S.T., under the voiced singer, has recently signed a long time contract sponsorship of the Maybelline Company, features in with the Cities Service Concerts and in so doing addition to Martin and his band, Elmer Feldkamp, ro- realized her life-long ambition for radio work. mantic tenor, and Terry Shand, swing singer, as vo- Her clear, vibrant soprano voice first commanded calists, and the Penthouse Serenaders Trio, made up attention a little more than a year ago when, as a high of Betty, Jean, and Jim. Shand, who also tickles the school student, she sang over a local New Jersey sta- ivories and beats the bars of a xylophone, and Feld- tion. A contract with N.B.C. followed immediately. kamp are veterans with the Martin band. Since then she has grown rapidly in popularity until now she is one of the outstanding sopranos on the DAMROSCH DOES ACTOR'S CHORE air. * * * Dr. Walter Damrosch, N.B.C.'s Music Counsel, WINCHELL RETURNS TO SCREEN will be heard as an actor as well as conductor on Fri- day, December 18, when he impersonates Handel and Flash! From Holloywood, California, beginning Beethoven in dramatizations from the lives of these December 20, as Winchell broadcasts his first program composers during N.B.C.'s Music Appreciation Hour 'from Hollywood, where he will reside as he works on over the combined N.B.C.-Red and N.S.C.-Blue Net- u, (,u new movie in ,vhich he stars. "Wake Up and Live." works from 2:00 to 3:00 p.m., E.S.T. j 20 THE BATTALION 1W I THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS My girl is suave and smooth and subtle But this is beyond detection; While some hold hands as a token of love, Mine does it as a means of protection. ~i -Punch Bowl ' Prof: You missed my class yesterday, didn't you? Fish: Not in the least, sir, not in the least. ` I `s 1 My room-mate made inquiries About my sweetheart, Bess ; / lj He asked me: "Is she a nice girl?" _ And I answered "Moralless." Mary had a little swing, It isn't hard to find, And everywhere that Mary goes - The swing is just behind. \ -Purple Parrot Again around ye flowing bowle Do goode olde friends get fulle And toast ye dames with loving names y And toss about ye bulle. And now do I get the reindeer, too? Young man- "Er-sir-I-er-that is, I came to say that your daughter tells me that she-er-loves me." Prof : Now, James, what do you derive from my Parent-"And I suppose you have come to ask last statement ? permission to marry her?" James: I can't tell you, sir. Young man-"No sir, I came to ask you to make Prof: And why not? her behave herself." James: Well, you see, sir, I haven't a deriver's license. "F-E-E-T. What does that spell, Johnny?" asked We were fully three miles from town. She was mad the teacher. Johnny didn't know. and I was positively disgusted. With dilating nostrils "What is it that a cow has four of and I have only and heaving sides she glared at me with blood-shot two'?" persisted the teacher. eyes, expressive of the utter contempt she undoubted- Johnny's answer was quite as surprising as it was ly felt for me. Her hair was rumpled and my clothes unexpected. were disgracefully dishevelled. I thought she'd never come agross Dang that mule! She was only a coal man's daughter, but oh! where -Owl she had bin. llecember 16, 1936 21 Voice from House: "Wil-lie-e!! What's your broth- er crying about? Didn't I tell you to give him anything he wanted?" - Willie: "Yes, Ma, but now that I've dug him a hole. ~n he wants me to bring it in the house." 4fi-ti -Log;} t a~ ~ 1 z s_ "And if you're a good little boy, mother will take F l oU with her to see Laurel and Hardy." and miss seeing sis and her boy friend s"~`~ c(Mle Ill stewed?" 0 llett}-: I thought 1 told ()(I to r(Wille after sti p per. 1 1 'v do you go with Mary Jones'? Everyhody says Pete: That's what I came after. she is a horse's neck. She laughs like a hyena, is as big as an elephant, and treats all boys like clogs. Why are you so interested in her?" "I don't know. I guess it is because she appeals to You scoff at a minnow the animal in me." For being mere bait But how did you feel When after your date There you were danglin' "Come out in the woods," said the senior, "I hear To wait and to pine a nightengale." Left on the hook of She followed him. It wasn't a nightengale-it was A very strong line? a lark." -Log Twinkle, twinkle, little star, Upon above the gilded bar; Now you're near, Two stuttering blacksmiths had finished heating Now you're far, a piece of pig iron, and one placed it upon the anvil Can't you sit still for just a minute? with a pair of tongs. -Yale Record "H-h-h-h-hit it," he stuttered to his helper. "Wh-wh-wh-wh-where?" asked the other. "Ah, h-h-h-h-hell, we'll have to heat it again, now." -~-en Prof.-And now we come to the study of birth control. Fish-Gosh, what will automobiles havc nc.;t? rA1 o o Salesman (beginning to unroll his samples) : I'd like to show you- / Merchant (emphatically) : No, no, I'm not inter- e ested. Salesman (eagerly) : But wont you take even a little peek? Merchant: No, take them and get out. Salesman (wistfully) : Well, would you mind if I looked at them myself! I think they are so nice!" - - - - -fled Cat 22 THE BATTALION "Tell me, Bob, what's your definition of a modern _ c girl?" "Legs by Steinway, body by Fisher, and necks by the hour." Phil: "How'd your arms get all scratched up?" Phyllis: "Pins in a skirt I was trying to make." Phil: " `S funny. I never got scratched trying to make a skirt." You're two dollars in the hole, old man. Yeah? Who do you think I am, Santa Claus? I just hate men, yet they take me everywhere-- to dances, to parties and road houses. After they get "How come you don't go out with Toots any me lit they hold me to their lips. Then they drag the more?" life out of me. They get all the enjoyment they can, "Oh, I couldn't stand her vulgar laughter." then cast me aside. Many times I am picked up, but "I never noticed it." always cast away. They take me here, they take me "You weren't there when I proposed." there; I am treated the same no matter where they take me. Why should they take advantage of me so? It seems I am on everyone's lips. But some day I will First Burglar: "I need eye-glasses." burn them, even though I am only a little cigarette. Second Ditto: "What makes you think so?" -Punch Bowl First Burglar: "Well, I was twirling the knobs of a safe and a dance orchestra began to play." How about the banker who foreclosed on a musci- lage factory and was stuck with it? "God gives us our daily bread doesn't he, mamma?" "Yes, dear." "Did you say that chorus girl date of yours had "And Santa Claus brings the presents?" nice legs?" "Yes, dear." "Yes, I can speak very highly of them." "And the stork brings the babies?" "Yes, dear." "Then, tell me, mamma, just what is the use of There's a bright side to everything, having papa hanging around?" But it gives no joy or fun To see the shine upon the suit We've worn since '31. Freshman (preparing an essay) : What do they call those tablets the Gauls used to write on? Roommate : Gaul stones. If people know a girl who thinks the sky's the I limit, they'll all take her up. f Home is where you can scratch any place that 1 itches. We hasten to point out that while every man has I -t his wife, only the iceman has his pick. Nature is wonderful! A million years ago she didn't know we were going to wear spectacles, yet look at the way she placed our ears. "I'm not sure, girls, but I think there's a nigger -Log in the woodpile." 1)(-( ember 16, 1936 26 MERRY CHRISTMAS!-YEAH- men seemed too sure of themselves for me, a stranger, (Continued from Page 9) to attempt a break. I departed, quietly, after ten minutes-minus two bucks. girl must have heard something; perhaps it was true. So far I was undaunted; persistency was one of my In view of these harrowing, exciting, and thrilling virtues. Three more girls were "out," one of them ap- experiences I kept rather quiet at first after return- parently "out to me," and the next was almost human ing to school at the end of the holdiays, but the very ~ hen she informed me that she already had a date. complete stories that some of the cadets told led me In short, I quit after the second glass of water into manufacturing a similar one for the boys. If I do acid the third rub down of aching wrist muscles. How- say so, that holiday of mine outshown most of the ever, I didn't know when I was licked, because I re- others. You could hardly imagine the number and sumed the next day in an endeavor to get a date for beautyof the girls I caressed, the quantity of beverages a dance to be held the next week. But could I get I consumed, nor the wonderful meals I ate. anyone to go with me? No, and less than half of them showed up at the dance. Nice work, girlies, you sure That, dear reader, is a confession, and a reason Muck together where the Aggies were concerned. By why I have found it convenient to go elsewhere to that time several more of the boys had drifted in from spend holidays, Christmas or otherwise. In the other school and were having the same results. We got to- fellow's town you know you are a stranger, and some- gether that evening and spent the night arguing over times strangers aren't so bad. a penny-ante poker game. On about the fifth day of the "glorious" two weeks I had a very brilliant idea-I thought so, any- way, and it evidently was. I would ask a high school` class mate of mine who had a job and a coupe to go A Very Merry Christmas ' hunting at the lake. He had told me that it was his evening off and I had heard that the ducks were very And A Happy New Year accomodating at the time. When I called him he unhesitatingly agreed that OSCAR GREGG it was a good idea and we should leave shortly after noon, but he had had a date for the afternoon and his Jeweler girl friend liked to hunt with the best of them so would it be all right to take her along? Sure, it was his car, his girl, and anyway, I wasn't adverse to a little feminine company even if I was sore at all of em. I should have known better, but inside of an hour I had the old clothes out, the beautiful little twenty- We Wish You A Merry Christmas gauge cleaned up, and was in the best of spirits-when A Happy and Prosperous my pal called. In an apologetic tone he informed me that his girl was going but that her mother was mak- New Year ing her take her brother along, and since four couldn't ride comfortably for some twenty miles, he didn't THE UNIFORM TAILOR SHOP see how I could go. Somehow, I kept from jerking the , phone from the wall, and he proceeded to ask me if Mendl & Hornak I would loan him the twenty for little brother to use u~ as an oar. That was my- chance but I let him borrow the gun for I didn't have much starch left in my hide by t hat time. Q 4 When the night of the big Christmas frolic came' around I just couldn't stay away so I drifted out to MERRY CHRISTMAS, AGGIES! the country club about ten o'clock. That place used YOU'LL NEED A HAIRCUT BEFORE' to be easy to crash, but with the set up that night it «vould have taken an expert thug with a pound of nitro- THE HOLIDAYS glycerin hours to break the front line defense. After -Let Us Do It- seeing the set-up and not wanting to prowl around, at least while I was alone, I bought a ticket and proceeded CAMPUS BARBER SHOP to enter, being watched all the time as if I might be dangerous. There were not a dozen girls on the floor In the "Y" 111:0 1 lm(,v v 'md Imi wif. that T c:lrod to (],Ince wil l,l. Thf, 22 THE BATTALION "Tell me, Bob, w1hat's your definition of a modern girl?" "Legs by Steinway, body by Fisher, and necks by the hour." Phil: "How'd your arms get all scratched up?" Phyllis: "Pins in a skirt I was trying to make." Phil: " `S funny. I never got scratched trying to make a skirt." You're two dollars in the hole, old man. Yeah? Who do you think I am, Santa Claus? I just hate men, yet they take me everywhere-- to dances, to parties and road houses. After they get "How come you don't go out with Toots any me lit they hold me to their lips. Then they drag the more?" life out of me. They get all the enjoyment they can, "Oh, I couldn't stand her vulgar laughter." then cast me aside. Many times I am picked up, but "I never noticed it." always cast away. They take me here, they take me "You weren't there when I proposed." there; I am treated the same no matter where they take me. Why should they take advantage of me so? It seems I am on everyone's lips. But some day I will First Burglar: "I need eye-glasses." burn them, even though I am only a little cigarette. Second Ditto: "What makes you think so?" -Punch Bowl First Burglar : "Well, I was twirling the knobs of a safe and a dance orchestra began to play." How about the banker who foreclosed on a musci- lage factory and was stuck with it? "God gives us our daily bread doesn't he, mamma?" "Yes, dear." "Did you say that chorus girl date of yours had "And Santa Claus brings the presents?" nice legs?" "Yes, dear." "Yes, I can speak very highly of them." "And the stork brings the babies?" "Yes, dear." "Then, tell me, mamma, just what is the use of There's a bright side to everything, having papa hanging around?" But it gives no joy or fun To see the shine upon the suit We've worn since '31. Freshman (preparing an essay) : What do they call those tablets the Gauls used to write on? ' Roommate: Gaul stones. If people know a girl who thinks the sky's the limit, they'll all take her up. - \ J 1 \ Home is where you can scratch any place that itches. We hasten to point out that while every man has his wife, only the iceman has his pick. i20v~s -z~Nature is wonderful! A million years ago she didn't know we were going to wear spectacles, yet "I'm not sure, girls, but I think there's a nigger look at the way she placed our ears. -Log in the woodpile." December 16, 1936 23 MERRY CHRISTMAS!-YEAH- men seemed too sure of themselves for me, a stranger, (Continued from Page 9) to attempt a break. I departed, quietly, after ten minutes-minus two bucks. girl must have heard something; perhaps it was true. So far I was undaunted; persistency was one of my In view of these harrowing, exciting, and thrilling virtues. Three more girls were "out," one of them ap- experiences I kept rather quiet at first after return- parently "out to me," and the next was almost human ing to school at the end of the holdiays, but the very when she informed me that she already had a date. complete stories that some of the cadets told led me In short, I quit after the second glass of water into manufacturing a similar one for the boys. If I do and the third rub down of aching wrist muscles. How- say so, that holiday of mine outshown most of the ever, I didn't know when I was licked, because I re- others. You could hardly imagine the number and sumed the next day in an endeavor to get a date for beautyof the girls I caressed, the quantity of beverages a dance to be held the next week. But could I get I consumed, nor the wonderful meals I ate. anyone to go with me? No, and less than half of them That, dear reader, is a confession, and a reason showed up at the dance. Nice work, girlies, you sure stuck together where the Aggies were concerned. By why I have found it convenient to go elsewhere to that time several more of the boys had drifted in from spend holidays, Christmas or otherwise. In the other school and were having the same results. We got to- fellow's town you know you are a stranger, and some- and that evening and spent the night arguing over times strangers aren't so bad. a penny-ante poker game. On about the fifth day of the "glorious" two weeks I had a very brilliant idea-I thought so, any- F way, and it evidently was. I would ask a high school class mate of mine who had a job and a coupe to go A Very Merry Christmas hunting at the lake. He had told me that it was his evening off and I had heard that the ducks were very And A Happy New Year accomodating at the time. When I called him he unhesitatingly agreed that OSCAR GREGG it was a good idea and we should leave shortly after noon, but he had had a date for the afternoon and his Jeweler girl friend liked to hunt with the best of them so , would it be all right to take her along? Sure, it was his car, his girl, and anyway, I wasn't adverse to a little feminine company even if I was sore at all of 'em. I should have known better, but inside of an hour i I had the old clothes out, the beautiful little twenty- + We Wish You A Merry Christmas gauge cleaned up, and was in the best of spirits-when A Happy and Prosperous my pal called. In an apologetic tone he informed me that his girl was going but that her mother was mak- New Year ing her take her brother along, and since four couldn't` ride comfortably for some twenty miles, he didn't THE UNIFORM TAILOR SHOP see how I could go. Somehow, I kept from jerking the , phone from the wall, and he proceeded to ask me if Mendl & Hornak I would loan him the twenty for little brother to use as an oar. That was my chance but I let him borrow the gun for I didn't have much starch left in my hide by that time. Mien the night of the big Christmas frolic came around I just couldn't stay away so I drifted out to MERRY CHRISTMAS, AGGIES! the country club about ten o'clock. That place used YOU'LL NEED A HAIRCUT BEFORE to be easy to crash, but with the set up that night it \Nould have taken an expert thug with a pound of nitro- THE HOLIDAYS ,slycerin hours to break the front line defense. After -Let Us Do It- ~eeing the set-up and not wanting to prowl around, at feast while I was alone, I bought a ticket and proceeded CAMPUS BARBER SHOP i o enter, being watched all the time as if I might be dangerous. There were not a dozen girls on the floor In the "Y" 24 THE BATTALION A MESSAGE FROM MEXICO- .z Academy of Puebla and first came to the United States in 1910 with an organization of one hundred Mexican 4 ~ ~ a 'tyr a 8 ~xE .f7~`' 1l "PENNIES The 7 ihica Alexican Orchestra FROM MARION DAV IES musicians. This group, however, was too unwieldly for HEAVEN the uncertainties of a foreign tour, and he abandoned and with the project. He then formed this present ensemble CLARK GABLE BING CROSBY Which combines the richness of orchestral effect with in the delicacy and finish possible only to a group of Madge Evans modest size. "CAIN AND Edith Fellows Senor Mercado is himself an accomplished musi- 9~ Louis Armstrong cian on the violin, and he personally arranges the or- MABLE and his famous chestrations of every number. His long experience with swing band makes him well qualified to direct this unique com- Allen Jenkins Five popular songs pany. Not only will the music offered by this group be Roscoe Karns make us the musical native but also the costumes will be typical of Mexico. Two of the fore- score of Columbia's The Senorita will be attired in new Bing Crosby gay, colorful costumes most stars of the "Pennies of the "China Poblana" which is typical costume for silver screen, Mar- comedy, Pennies the Mexican girls. The color of these attractive cos- From Heaven." The ion Davies and numbers, written b tumes are taken from those of the National flag-red, ' by white and green. Clark Gable, are A r t h u r Johnston brought together in The Senors will be dressed in the "Charro" cos- and John Burke, "Pennies From II tumes. When one thinks of the native Mexican, this " Cain and Mable", are: ` Heaven", nie Do I", typical Charro costume naturally comes to mind. It is a Cosmopoliton pro- "Lets Call a Heart well known the world over that the tall sombrero, d u c t i o n complete a Heart", "One Two beautifully embroidered bolero jacket, the tight trous- with music, comedy* Button Your Shoe", ers with their dollar size buttons the vivid sash and the and romance. The and "Skeleton in the beautiful serape, which is a many-hued scarf worn Closet". C r o s b y thrown over one shoulder, constitutes one of the most picture has spectac- sings all but the colorful costumes of any nation, ular feature num- latter son which ERR bers and the slash- is played and sung ing action of the by Louis Armstrong ring. This entertain noted colored band x~} a ing Screen Show leader. x will be at the PREVIEW GREATER Sat. Night PALACE Sun. and Mon. y£ Thurs. - Fri. GREATER . Sat. PALACE r s ` Warner Brtohers G^ A Columbia PictureRelease Josefina Ojeda and Lolita Valdez December lli, 1 936. FOOTBALL BULL PEN- GIRLS CALLED HIM (Continued from Page 16) tBLIJECEARD/ said `Phoebe' Phythian. "It happened like this. On the second play of the game, Clint Small, the Texas . U. center, socked Joe pretty hard. Well, Joe just naturally came back and let Small have one with interest besides. When they lined up on the next play, Clint Small kinda hinted that maybe they had better cut out the rough stuff and play cleaner football from then on." - The flow of "bull" slowed up for a while. Shocker started the conversation again. - "You know," he said, "a lot of publicity has been written on the incident about Joe ''Routt and Britt cleaning up on some negroes in Utah, but that is just about half of it. On the way back somebody, I forget who, asked the negro porter to open a window. We were still thinking about the fight in Utah, and when the porter refused to open the window, everyone got mad. When the negro made some bright crack about -because every time he let out a Texas boys thinking that they were too d-n good, blast of murderous tobacco from his Routt let go at him and didn't let up until the porter never-cleaned pipe they couldn't help was in a pretty bad condition. He was twice as bashed thinking of the famous gent who as- up as the colored waiter in the cafe." sassinated six wives. A pity, too- "But going back to the supper in the Cocoanut when women love pipe-smoking,done Grove befog- the San Francisco game," put in Whit- the right way. Which is? i. Keep your pipe tide.. . 2. Switch to the to- field, "remember when we were just going in and Vir- hacco that burns cleaner and swells gil Jones whispered for all of us to "put on the dog" more fragrant. We modestly admit slid show our best manners. Brahma said that we were ilia'. Sir Walter Raleigh Smoking in a high-toned place and should not act like Aggies in Tobacco--an uncommonly mild blend the Mess Hall. Well, when we sat down and someone of KentuckvBurlevsdelightfultoboth yelled, `Shoot the gunwaddin Virgil actually fainted smoker and audience. How such su- and passed out cold. I wonder wl_tut the tea-sipper perlative tobacco can be only 150 is would have done.if someone would have hollered, our worry. Trv a tin. You'll bless us. 'Shoot the stud!' SWITCH TO THE BRAND "Hm, that ain't half as bad as what Bill Stages did," chuckled Steffins. "That big b went over to OF GRAND AROMq Shirley Temple's table and stayed there all of the night except for one short dance." i➢stuiWn:a~aoaaev-:s:.=.:z:.s- .a..:. "I remember that," Les Cummings said. "Didn't - ` he look over to where Anna Sten, the famous actress, was sitting? All of a sudden he looked under her tabl:aand saw she had her shoes off. Just to be a ornery cuss, he excused himself from Shirley and embarrassed Miss Sten by asking her for the next dance. Anyone who would deliberately ask a girl to dance when he ' n t knew her shoes were off ought to be shot." :td . ~'s 3AC C, - "It's funny that I didn't get to see that," the Doc- UNION = t~> 13 wT tuh Pitner grinned. "Maybe that was when I was over MADE there getting another one of them thar actresses on line. I had on my cow-puncher boots and when I asked FREE booklet tells bow to mak. i Yvonne Skelly to dance, she kinda shied off. After our old pipe taste better, sweet- TA lU CARE muc?t persuasion she let me have a dancef but by golly, ' Write ritef to break'" a new pipe. P1pP e for copy today. Brown & kz - Williamson Tobacco Corporation, Louisville, Kontucl.v. Dept ,L.612. (Continued on Page 26) 26 THE BATTALION FOOTBALL BULL PEN- (Continued from Page 25) \ she wouldn't get close and I wasn't getting much of a kick out of it." "I thunked and thunked and intentionally stepped I on her toes. When she made a face at me I said: "Sis- ter, relax and shake a leg and we'll get along better." After that she snuggled up close, and boy did we go to town?" As soon as "The Doctuh" finished that remark, the supper whistle blew, and thus another famous Ag gie "Bull Session" was ended. The end of a skier . First Cutie : Why do they compare the Sultan to a P.W.A. worker? "I heard you went riding with Jack last night. Was Second Cutie: Because he always takes his pick he careful?" and then falls asleep. "I'll say he was ! He came to a full stop at every -Pet. Eng. curve." He: I'm going to kiss you for one thrilling, won- "The doctor persuaded me to show him the leg derful hour. which has been bothering me so." She: Say, aren't you forgetting yourself . "Ye May, is it better now?" He: Well, no. I dare say it'll be a certain amount Yes. . But now it's bothering him. of fun for me too. Little Miss Muffet decided to rough it In a forest quite old and primeval. s A rounder espied her and plied her with cider And now she's the forest's prime evil. r "Why did the new women's club break up so soon T' how) "The majority voted to have the three oldest 141, women constitute the board." I`U "That land you sold me is no good. You said I , uV could grow nuts on it." A01, "Oh, no, I didn't say that. I said you could go nuts on it!" Nil "I think it just terrible, sending all those Marines to South America. What will they do when they get there T' "Good heavens, Inez, ain't you never been out with a Marine?" "Sarah, that blasted dog's been chasing cows all i over the meadow this whole day. It spoils the milk and / . 4 Everywhere scares the poor cows to death. What'll I do?" "You can't do anything. It's all your fault for Bzsides saving money, you'll en'oy AIR.-CON- buying a bull dog." DTTIONED comfort and h^ve more time "there" if you go by Southern Pacific. "Where d'ja get the black eye?" "In the war." Southern Pacific "What war?" T. H. BLACK, Agent "The boudoir." -Show Me Phone College 9 r)ecemher 16, 19:,6 In Washington they tell the story of a golfing z - clergyman who had been badly beaten on the links I a parishioner thirty years his senior and had returned Come By and Select A Gift For to the clubhouse rather disgruntled. "Cheer up," his opponent said. "Remember, you YOUR GIRL FRIEND win at the finish. You'll probably be burying me some, day." BEFORE GOING HOME CHRISTMAS "Even then," said the preacher, "it will be your hole." " K. WOLENS "He said he was going to kiss me, and I said I ,wouldn't stand for it."c~"F s, "Then what did he do?" "He led me over to the divan." -Froth Irate intruder in telephone booth: "Look here,: You've been in there for half an hour and you haven't I said a word." Man: "Let me alone, I'm talking to my wife." -Ariz. Kitty Kat I shot a poem into the air It was reprinted everywhere From Bangor to the Rocky Range s And always credited to Exchange. A -Exchange Round TIMES -and Trips ONE N E 1H * rips Alt she FARES deserves A I* GREYHOUND GIFT Ii 30-Day Return Lim- Sample Round-Trip Fares it on Sale Daily HOUSTON . . . $ 2.85 G' Before You Through January 1 BEAUMONT 5.40 SomeFxeepdons WACO. 2.80 Buy See Our DALLAS . . . 5.20 Line Of TULSA . . . . 12.45 OKLA. CITY 11.20 AGENT GREYHOUND STATION FOR FULL DETAILS Aggieland Inn CHRISTMAS SPECIALS Telephone Col. 250 "Your Campus Drug Store" SOUTHWESTERN r,- THE AGGIELAND PHARMACY E ~GR W + + t- S r' s X a a 28 THE BATTALION "Don't get up, Mr. Van Schmooltz, I just came GO HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS in to wash my hands." VIA k 4 ; ~ x x ~y MERRY CHRISTMAS a Aggies, we have en- NORWOOD'S . joyed serving you. w Shaw's Hamburgers { Cleaners Hatters Low round trip holiday fares in effect to all points, daily until January lst, inclusive; return limit thirty days in addition ASSEMBLY Hans made like new to date of sale: Round-Trip Bryan, Texas Lv College Station MP Lines 11:20 A.M. Coach Fares HALL Ar Waco MP Lines 2:05 P.M. 5 2.80 "His Brother's Ar Fort Worth MP Lines 4:45 P.M. $ 5.10 Ar Austin MP Lines 2:15 P.M. Dec. 19 $ 3.45 Wife" r- Ar San Antonio MP Lines 4:30 Y.M. $ 5.85 with Ar Longview- MP Lines 6:25 P.M. $ 5.95 a~ A BARBARA STANWYCK Boys Ar Memphis MP Lines 7:00 A.M. Dec. 20 'M 7.10 and Ar St. Louis MP Lines 8:30 A.M. Dec. 20 523.45 ROBERT TAYLOR Hope you have - Friday, 6:30 1-1. M. • Lv College Station MP Lines 2:28 P.M. Dec. 19 4 a goo time Ar Houston M1' Lines S:IO P.M. Dec. 19 $ 2.85 For further information Phone College 207 "Love Before STUDENT r Breakfast" Tickets on sale now-Buy them early with , CO-OP IV. IV. Waugh, Agent Guy Wilson, Trav Pass Agent CAROLE LOMBARD ~ N. Gate, 2 Bks. East and PRESTON FOSTER 7-- A - SEASONS H GREETINGS We Wish You And A A MERRY CHRISTMAS HAPPY NEW YEAR HE T CAMPUS fi CLEANERS r A It 1, ~Lj FOR THE LADIES Compacts - Rings - Bracelets - Bracelet and Pendant Sets - Pendants Cigarette Cases - Pillows - Pennants - Fountain Pen Sets ~r Hosiery Jewelry FOR THE MEN Handkerchief and Tie Sets - Tie and Sox Sets - Belt and Buckle Sets Shirts - Tie Pins - Suspenders - Watch Chains - Garters Scarfs --Jackets NOVELIES Paper Weights - Letter Openers - Key Chains - Elephants Miniature Pillows - Kodaks Y ~ i l w S: c a ~ t t `r+ z a Mow M A GIFT Y spirthe OF PLEASURE LUCKY-Is abroad in th spirit Of Christen _ that spirit, an e land. A gift that home, both great and brings pleasure to expresse Such a gi sma11 i s very I/ NTOASTED' ft mY friends is rare U Indeed CKY STRIKE ; z"t fJ . . .