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Home My WebLink AboutConfessions of a Small Town Mayor; article (1989)Confessions of a Small Town Texas Mayor by Gary Halter Former Mayor, College Station I T 4"4. a 0 . It's nice to be the former honor. That is the title I have decided is appropriate for former mayors — Former Honor. For years, all your mail arrives THE HONOR- ABLE GARY HALTER. Then one day, when you are no longer mayor, it stops coming addressed to the HONORABLE. Therefore you must be a former honor. I enjoyed my five years on the council and six as mayor, but it's still nice to be the former honor. The thing I miss the least is the phone calls. After I had been out of office about two weeks, the calls died down. I said to my secretary, "I guess this makes your job easier ?" She said, "Yes, but not as interesting." I did receive a few former honor calls. This man called. Said he had been stop- ped by the police for speeding and run- ning a stop sign, or so the cop said. Said he could not have been guilty of both Gary Halter was mayor of College Station from 1980 to 1986 and a member of the city council for five years before that. Dr. Halter has had humorous articles pub- lished in Texas Towns and Cities and P ub - l Managemen and is also the author of several scholarly books and articles. He holds a Ph. D. in political science and is an associate professor of political science at Texas A&M University. speeding and running a stop sign — they were inconsistent acts. I did not think so since it was possible to speed through a stop sign, but I didn't argue with him. He also said he had received a ticket for not having a seat belt on but he had it on until the cop walked up to the car. He said he didn't know he had to leave it on until the cop got to the car. I listened to this and said, "That's all very interesting, however, why are you telling me this? I'm no longer the mayor" There was a long pause and then he said, "Oh. I know that. I know that" I said, "Well, if you do, why are you tell- ing me this ?" He said, "Well, hum, I just wanted to let you know what a mess you left the police department in" I thanked him for the compliment. Said it was compliments like that that made the job worthwhile and suggested that perhaps the police did him a favor, since seat belt offenses don't count against your license or insurance, and that he really should call the current mayor and thank him for clear- ing up the mess I left. I told him if I were Editor's Note: This article is excerpted from a presentation given by Dr. Halter at the Basic City Management Course held at Texas A&M University, Nov. 1989. Dr. Halter's opinions are not necessarily the opinions of the Technology Resource Center or of the Texas Engineering Exten- sion Service. still mayor he'd have been ticketed for speeding through a stop sign. I had one late night former honor call. I answered the phone and a voice said, very forcefully, "This is Col. Smith calling" I waited, expecting him to say something else, but he did not. I said, "OK, this is Gary Halter. Now what ?" He said, You're the Mayor aren't you ?" I said, "No" He said, 'Are you sure ?" I also had one interesting former honor meeting with a citizen. I walked into the high school gym to watch a game my son was playing in and a woman seated in the stands said, "Hi Mayor Braveneck" I said, "No, my name is Halter, and I am no longer mayor. Larry Ringer is mayor now. She said, "Oh yeah, that's right. I'm sorry you lost, but my husband and I both voted for you" Since I had not run for mayor, this was gratifying to know. Wrong on three counts, but right on votes. Here are some of my favorite honorable calls. I have a pile of trash on my gas meter... This man calls, says he has a pile of trash on his gas meter. It caught on fire. He managed to put it out, but he and his wife were so upset that they could not sleep for fear it would happen again. Said the trash had been on the meter for "weeks" and the city would not pick it up after "repeated calls" Said he was calling to "apply political pressure to get the pro- blem solved" I asked the obvious question. "How did a pile of trash get on your gas meter ?" He said he had put it there. I said, "Let me suggest the following. I will try and get the city to pick it up but, in the mean time, since it is a busy time of the year, why don't you move it to another location ?" He said, (I swear) ), "I can't do that. It will kill the grass, and besides, my job is to put 9 it down. It's your job to pick it up. If the city can't get it today, I expect you per- sonally to get it — TODAY' I told him that normally I did the trash pick up in my spare time, but my pickup was in the shop and it would be next week before I could get it and asked, "Is that good enough ?" 1 got stuck at the dump ... I arrived at my university office early one Monday morning and there was a phone message. It read, "Call Mrs. Jones in the President's Office Immediately" I rushed to my office, thinking an emergen- cy had occurred. I dialed the number and asked for Mrs. Jones. When she answered she said, "Well, 1 just thought I would tell you what a sorry job the city does running its dump. After waiting for weeks to get some trash pick- ed up, I finally took it to the dump myself on Saturday. Well, I got stuck and there were no city employees there to help me out. If it had not been for some people in the Fed Mart parking lot who saw me, I'd still be there" I told her that she had not gone to the city landfill but an illegal dump that the city had been trying to close. There were even signs that said this. She was embar- rassed. Late night calls from the pizza man ... There was a local man who owned a piz- za place that was a big hangout for Aggies. He closed at about 1 a.m. and got in the habit of calling me at about 2 a.m. with some minor complaint. He was mad at the city for about a zillion things and always had one inspector or another after him. I think he felt that if he harassed me enough the city would get off his case. This was not a good assumption to make. After the second late night call I made sure that the city attended to his problem the next day. I set my alarm for 5 a.m. and called him, knowing he would be asleep. He was. He cursed me and said disparag- ing things about my parents. I said "Gee, I'm sorry, I thought you stayed up all night. I would have called during the day but I thought you would be asleep." I did not receive any more calls from him late at night. If you are the mayor, why did you answer the phone? ... I received a call at my home about 6:15 p.m. The conversation went something like this. "I want to speak to the mayor." "This is he" "This is who ?" "This is the mayor" "If this is the Mayor, why did you answer the phone ?" "Because it was ringing" "Don't you have a secretary?" "Yes, but you called my home and I don't have a secretary at home. are you at home ?" "Because its 6:15 p.m" "You answer your phone at home ?" "I have been known to do that" "Are you sure this is the Mayor ?" "Yes" "I'm not so sure." "That's OK with me. I really don't have any way to prove it. You will just have to take my word for it. I really don't care. "This is the mayor ?" "Yes. What do you need ?" The person then related some rambling story about adult softball and the staff in Central Park. He was surprised I did not know the names of all the city employees and said, "But they work for you" I told him I really could not follow what he was trying to say. He said, "Well let me try again. This time I'll use real small words and maybe you can understand" I told him that it was not the size of the words that was giving me trouble but the logical order in which they were being used. At this point he decided it was not the mayor but some wise guy. I told him, "Fine, why don't you call city hall tomorrow and report that someone is pretending to be the mayor. Get me in trouble" I gave him the phone number. He did call and report me. I was relieved. 10 But I don't want a swimming pool in my front yard ... One of the best ever calls was from an elderly woman and the conversation went something like this. "Is this Gary Halter ?" "Yes." Well, I am upset that you are against the ward system." "Yes, I don't see any benefits" "Well, Mr. Smartie, let me tell you who will benefit. We will. They get everything and we never get anything. We have big- ger yards on our side of town and will get more council members than they will" "Who is they and who is we ?" "They are the people on the other side of town. They get everything. We never get anything" "O.K. Give me an example. What do they get and what don't we get ? She thought for a minute and said, "They got a swimming pool and we don't." I said, "Fine, you are right, however, in the same election (when we vote on the wards) there is also money for a swim- ming pool in Thomas Park. Vote and we will have pool" She said, "Where in Thomas Park ?" I said, "The exact location has not been determined She said, "Well, I live next to Thomas Park and I don't want a swimming pool in my front yard. That's another reason for having the wards. To stop stuff like this from happening" Many calls involve disputes between neighbors. In College Station, we seemed to have a kind of code of the cul -de -sac in operation. If one neighbor sees another neighbor doing something he doesn't like, he calls the city and complains. Best of all, call the mayor. Go right to the top. Don't mess with lower level of- ficials who get paid. Call the mayor. Never mind that what the neighbor is doing is not a violation of any city ordinance. For example, if someone installs a satellite dish in their front yard, call and complain. Tell the mayor that this "thing," offends your aesthetic preferences and there should be an ordinance against them. Progressive cities have such ordinances. The most common code of the cul -de- sac violations involved grass mowing (or the lack there of), fence building and drainage. He who enjoys yard work is easily amused ... Yard mowing is the most common. Believe it or not, some people who move to cul -de -sacs are not enthusiastic about yard work. Some operate on the principle that "he who enjoys yard work is easily amused" An unkept yard will really upset a true culdesacian. Not only is it unsightly, but worst of all it can cause weeds to migrate to neighboring yards and may even, as I learned, cause a vector problem. Ticks, fleas and other vectors can actually breed in weeds. They have a much harder time of it in St. Augestine. Fire ant control is also an essential on any good cul -de -sac. I found out that driving fire ants to your neighbors yard by stepping on the mounds each day for a week is not an acceptable or respon- sible practice. Migrating fences ... If someone builds a fence, he always builds it on his neighbor's property, or, as I suspect, fences actually migrate in the middle of the night to the neighbor's property. One person called and said his neighbor built the fence on the caller's property. He asked him to move the fence. His neighbor told him, "If that fence is on your property, it must be your fence, and I am not going to move something that belongs to someone else and is on someone else's property" Callers often said they knew the fence was on their property because the real estate salesperson showed them the pro- perty line when they bought the house . "And that's how I know" If you suggest a survey they will tell you, "Look, I'm not the one that's creating a problem. My neighbor is and he is too cheap to pay for a survey. If the city requir- ed a permit, this type of thing would not happen. Progressive cities require permits." If you required a permit, you would get phone calls that went like this: "I went to build a fence and my neighbor turned me in to the city. They say I need a permit just to build a simple fence. This sounds like Russia. I feel we need to get the govern- ment off the backs of the people. My God, all this just for a simple fence. I know who turned me in — my neighbor. He is nosy and just wants to watch what we do in the backyard. It's no wonder our taxes are so high. It's stuff like this. Three people from the city came out here. Two just stood around. They say I need a survey — three hundred dollars. Now I can't afford to build the fence." It runs from high places to low places ... The third most common complaint is drainage of water. It seems that someone is always doing something to divert water onto someone else's yard. Part of this is due to the fact that true culdesacians like to do yard work. They buy several hun- dred prerotted railroad ties and work for weeks installing them in their yards. Sometimes this results in water going into their neighbors' yard, or so their neigh- bors say. It is almost impossible to tell who is right and who is wrong. The only thing that could be determined was the follow- ing: a. There was a problem; b. It was worse when it rained; c. It was less of a problem when it did not rain. The cause was quite another matter. Sometimes the problem might actually have been caused by the person complain- ing to the city. Self- inflicted as it were. This did not matter. I found out that a rule applies here. The first person who calls the city is right — period. This is the "First Person Who Calls is Right" rule of local government. Given this, I feel that most such neighborhood disputes could best be solv- ed with a good clean fist fight. Never mind who called the city first. Get all concern- ed parties together in the middle of the cul- de -sac turnaround and have the city referee a fist fight. Knives would not be permitted. The winner gets to have the loser do whatever the winner decides, but neither party would be allowed to call the city and complain for 10 years. 11 .. .., --., - .- - •.:a : � , ...; .. -,. >, ; <; ,,. ,.. r , >. car ,n,�� >•,_ -.-: «< ,,� _ �; � . >�. s. W >x <::� `• �'' - ��';' �...;..�.�.m.- ,s:::.a,�rt� >�s�'£ ism, Va_:: a. �. �. u�= L,'.�aoz.��..:.'�:......_�'r:�: a.s . acer xT". ��' �, � .._. s::..,;< ��a��-:. r:•... E. �a' �a:, �:: �f j:%. �:`` �" ��? s.:. �h.�:;�_,�eo„�`^:r,��.:r�-,.... _ �� ,� . E�z. �..,..- �:... w.�,.r,.....�a�:z.kr'�.:..:aa., � -" Other code violations . . . While these are the most common code of the cul -de -sac violations, there are others (not intended to be a complete list): 1. Drive your car on the grass. 2. Turn your garage into a family room. (I think my next book will be titled "How to Turn Your Family Room Into a Garage ") 3. Open a day care center for children in your home. 4. Hold home church in your home for three consecutive Sundays. "Young Life" may also be a violation if repeated often. 5. Raise pit bull dogs. Keep them on large chains tied to trees. 6. Keep a rooster as a 4 -H project. Train him to crow at4a.m. 7. Park a boat in front of your house. Bet- ter yet, park it on the turnaround on the cul -de -sac. 8. Construct a fence that is not aestheti- cally pleasing. 9. Invite 300 of your closest friends to a party and fail to invite the neighbors. 10. Last, but not least, sell your home to the parents of a freshman at Texas A &M, who in turn will sublet it to an undeter- mined number of other students — preferably of mixed sexes. If any citizen notes any of the above violations, they should immediately con- tact the mayor and turn the rascal in. Don't accept flimsy excuses like, "Well, they are not violating any ordinances" Remind the mayor that you are 1) a taxpayer, 2) pay their salary, 3) will sue, 4) will circulate a recall petition, and 5) will vote against them in the next election. 41544" .. . In addition to the phone calls, I also had a lot of informal meetings. Sometimes complete strangers, usually without intro- ducing themselves, would corner me in the grocery store and sometimes really chew me out. At first this bothered me but, after a while, I realized that people just wanted to get something off their chest. I am sure that sometimes they went home or to the office and told everyone "I saw that SOB and told him off:' Since they con- trolled what both of us said, when they related the conversation to others they could even improve on what they said and what I said. Once I was cornered in the checkout line by the president of a local concerned citizens' group. He told me how few DWI arrests College Station had in relation to Bryan and how bad the police chief was and why he should be fired. In a few days I read about our meeting in the local paper. In the article were statistics regarding the lower arrest rate for DWI in College Sta- tion and how this president had met with me and how I had promised to correct the problem. I wrote the president the following letter: Dear Sir: Thank you for bringing these data to my attention at our recent meeting. Apparently they are part of a much larger problem. During the same time period, Bryan had two murders, C.S. had none. Bryan had 12 armed robberies, C. S. had two. Bryan had 24 home burglaries, C.S. had 12, etc. Rest assured that College Station will work hard to achieve parity with Bryan in all areas of crime in the months ahead. "Yes. It's a fire ant bed" "What if some innocent child gets bit? Won't you feel bad ?" (Please note, all children are innocent. No one ever defends the guilty children of the world.) "Yes" 'And what do you intend to do about it. I looked at him, stomped the bed, and started back to my seat. He said, "That's about what I expected from you" I said, "Look, we don't know what to do about them. You obviously do. You must be holding out on us. Come clean. How do you kill fire ants ?" Later he called me and invited me to at- tend the awards ceremony because, "I want you to explain to everyone why the city has done such a lousy job of providing fields for our girls" I told him I did not go, as the turkey, to a turkey shoot. He said, "Then you are not coming ?" I said, "No I'll be there, just not as the turkey" He still called on me. After a five - minute speech on how bad the fields were, he said, "Now, here is the mayor to explain why. I stood up and said, "I'm sorry, the mayor could not make it. He stayed home. There are only parents here tonight" Sincerely, Gary Halter PS I usually shop at Safeway about 5:30 each day. We can meet anytime you like. For a period of time my daughter played softball. When I attended her games I was often approached by the president of the association who had a bevy of complaints about "what a poor job the city was doing on maintenance of the fields" The city could never do enough, soon enough, or do it right. Once, during one of my daughter's games, Mr. President stopped the game and invited me to center field, where he pointed to a fire ant bed. He said: "Do you know what that is ?" 44W U wl..,%, & a 0 Then there are formal meetings of the council. In some respects I miss these, but in most cases I don't. Some meetings were the best show in town. I often felt that the city should sell concessions at the meetings. I understand that the real money in movie theaters is not in the admission fees but in selling things at the concessions stands. At $2 for a bag of popcorn I can believe this. One essential thing needed to survive through all these meetings is a sense of humor. Service on the city council is not 12 for the humor impaired. I often attemp- ted to inject humor and most times it worked. Occasionally I made a few enemies. One occasion when I made an enemy occurred when the president of a homeowners association was speaking. He introduced his vice presidents, street and block chairmen. When he finished I said, "you have block chairmenT He said, matter- of- factly, "Why yes" I asked, "Do you also have flags and a mascot ?" I was always amazed at the reaction of council members to the public at meetings. You never knew what they were going to do. There are several types of behaviors council members display at meetings. Most are designed to impress the public or play to the audience. Here are a few. Mob leader ... Some council members operated on the principal of "there goes a mob, I think I'll find out where it is going so I can lead it." In other words, grand standing and play- ing the audience. Here are a few examples with which you may be familiar. 1. "I have very high standards and can't support this." 2. "My phone has been ringing off the wall all day. I can't support this" 3. "I talked with a state official in Austin, and they agreed with me" 4. A have a mandate" I always enjoyed this. Especially if you looked at their campaign literature. Most ran on platforms that no one could disagree with. For example: "Planned, economical sound growth and revitali- zation with order and environmental quality;" "open government, providing opportunities for and encouragement of maximum citizen participation in public decisions;" or long -range planning based on neighborhood protection and concerns for liability" I am not familiar with protocol .. . Sometimes, playing to the audience can backfire. In one such case, an "out -of -town greedy developer" (the worst kind) ob- jected to the city development standards, as developers will do. When he finished, one council member, playing to the audi- ence, really raked the developer over the coals for about five minutes and conclud- ed with the statement, and if you don't like our standards you can kiss our col- lective asses" The developer, said, without hesitation, "Sir, I will be happy to do that. However, I am not familiar with protocol. Do I begin on the left- or the right -hand side ?" Country slicker approach ... Some council members used the good of country boy approach_ They tell you "now, I'm just a good of country boy and you are goin' to hafta 'splain that to me" Once at a joint meeting with the Bryan City Council, so many members on both city councils claimed to be "good of coun- try boys" that I suggested we start a 4 -H chapter. When people claim to be good of country boys, watch out. It usually means they are about to get you. Let's study this some more the studious type .. . Of course, another approach is to ask for more study. This makes the council member look like they are doing their job, when they're unable to make a decision or unwilling because of inadequate infor- mation. In College Station this went over real good, being a college town. On other occasions, council members attempted to display knowledge and just plain blew it. Once the city was revising its ordinance requiring landscaping of parking lots in commercial area. The revis- ed ordinance stated that all trees should be "at least two inch caliper trees," mean- ing a trunk size of two inches. One council member said, "I am not familiar with the caliper tree. Does it grow well in this area and shouldn't they be big- ger than two inches ?" I also discovered that Parkinsion's second law applies to council meetings. "The amount of attention devoted to an item is inversely related to its importance" Enough said on that. 13 i'��.s�" , �aax"��z�` . <.:��',s::: asp' gaLt,^. vst�• r�` �"- �#��.z�- �a�..�s;�.�3r�i��:&:s `"�T' ,a. '.. , I H N R 15 E R �N We naturally had a lot of concerned citizens at our meetings. I am sure you do as well. In all the years I was on the coun- cil, not a single UNCONCERNED CITIZEN ever spoke. The unconcerned are a very under - represented lot by and large. I have thought about going to a council meeting and, after the concerned have spoken, standing up to say, "Council members, I represent the thousands of unconcerned citizens of our city whose feelings, beliefs and unconcerns have been too long neglected" Dom,. A J*441C44041 0 a 0 Being a college town, we naturally have a lot of professors who addressed the coun- cil. Most were experts. We have the highest per capita experts ratio of any city in Texas. I was often amused and amazed at the logic and tactics employed by these pro- fessors. Many of them are world experts in their fields. One could assume they were schooled in the use of logic, reason, and the scientific approach. This training apparently does not translate into similar behavior at council meetings. A few deserved the Nobel Prize for Quantum Leaps in Logic. One of the best examples of this was a very distinguished professor who objected to a church being constructed across the street from his home. He was especially upset about the proposed parking lot directly across from his home. He said: "In my home town, where I grew up, the city allowed a parking lot to be built across the street from my parent's home. Years later, when I returned for a visit, my old family home had been turn- ed into a Chinese restaurant. If the city allows this church parking lot across from my present home, I certainly hope the neighbors are ready for Chinese food" I always wanted to stop one of these pro- fessors and say, "Excuse me professor, but you have made a few errors in logic. Universal propositions can only be partial- ly converted. While Abraham Lincoln is dead, not all dead people are Abraham Lincoln" I N �.a 0 0 0 Of all the groups of people who spoke, the most interesting were the so called neighborhood groups. I call these people the NIMBYOCRATS or the Not In My Back Yard crowd. In fact, NIMBYocracy is actually the form of government we have in this country. It's not a democracy. For example, everyone is in favor of cutting the Federal budget so long as it's Not In My Back Yard. I per- sonally want it cut, but not in higher education and the same goes for the state of Texas. In College Station, the NIMBYs scream about neighborhood protection. The coun- cil was always destroying a neighborhood. I heard this so much that I once suggested the city needed to classify neighborhoods as "protected," "endangered" and "des- troyed" so newcomers would know where to buy homes. The NIMBYs did not think this was fun- ny. NIMBYs are a humor - impaired lot. It is amazing how so many neighbor- hoods were destroyed over the years since not a single candidate for city council has ever run on a platform that did not call for neighborhood protection. No one has ever favored destruction of neighborhoods. I G" U &�� k u4eze4d N 44 A 0 a After watching these groups for several years successfully bully the city council I developed the following guide to suc- cessful action as a NIMBY Just follow these easy steps. 1. Raise your level of indignation. Raise your level of indignation to at least an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10. 2. Calla neighborhood meeting. A neigh- borhood can be as large or as small as you like. If a group on the next street ever opposed you, say they are in another neighborhood. Neighborhoods are like amoeba. They can change size and shape very easily. 3. Whip those who attend the meeting into a Kenzie. It is important that everyone leave the meeting with a high level of indignation. Do not, repeat, do not let logic, reason or facts stand in your way. Pure, raw emotion should govern all statements. If someone tries to inject even a modicum of reason or logic into the meeting - throw him or her out. 4. Elect Officers. This will give the impres- sion that you are a large, well organized group. Do not admit that only five people attended the meeting. 5. Circulate a Petition. This will leave the impression of community-wide support. If the council goes against you, the press will say the council did this terrible act, despite a petition signed by 200 concerned citizens. 6. Telephone Council Members. Three calls to the average council member will indi- cate a ground swell of public support for your cause, four — a crisis in democracy, and five — doom. T Say you have hired an attorney. You don't really have to do this. 8. Hold a Press Conference. Invite the press. See if you can get the press to inter- view you in Your Back (or Front) Yard. Look worried and concerned. Have small children in the background. Film at 6 or 11 will greatly aid your cause. 9. Attend the Council Meeting in Mass. Arrive early and assemble as large a group as possible. Kids count. Intimidate the council with your size. 14 '„'" 10. Rules for Addressing the Council: There are a few rules you should remem- ber when addressing the council. Your pur- pose is not to convince but to intimidate and threaten the council members. a. Say you are a concerned citizen, tax- payer, voter, homeowner and PRESIDENT OF the Concerned Citizens For b. Tell the council that you represent thousands of other concerned citizens who feel just like you. c. Ask the Mayor to poll the audience and see if they agree with you. (You know they will.) d. Begin by telling the council how terri- ble it is that citizens have to come to coun- cil meetings and fight things like this and say - after all, what did we elect you for anyway? e. Then say something like this: "We need to restore open and responsible govern- ment to our city. The citizens have a right to be heard. We need to return govern- ment to the people. The Council needs to seek input from concerned citizens - which it has not been doing. Strong, responsible leadership is lacking. We need to end secrecy in government and make sure that it is not responsive to special interest groups. We need to restore a balance to government, because special interest groups have undermined its integrity" The advantage of saying all these tired cliche phrases is that no one can disagree with them and it will put the council on the defensive even if they are not guilty, and the press will quote you big time. If your group opposed a development or zoning decision say the following: "This development violated the comprehensive plan, is not well thought out; it will lead to piece -meal, slip -shod, scatter -shod, leap- frog strip development and end in costly sprawl" Remember, the comprehensive plan is like the Bible. It can be quoted to every- one's advantage. No one will be able to successfully contradict you on this statement. f. If the council votes against your group make the following statements. "Council members, you have not seen the last of us" "We will see you in court and at the next election." "It's time for a recall elec- tion" "We were not treated fairly" "The Council was biased from the start" "The Council is not listening to the people" "The Council has ignored the will of the people" g. Call a press conference. Announce a , recall election has begun. Write nasty let- ters to the editor. Run your own council candidates. By following these simple rules, you too can become a successful NIMBY. I Tk -t�a .. . No discussion of city government would be complete without some mention of the press or news media. The reason it's called a medium is because it's neither rare nor well done. Although you should never pick a fight with a man who buys ink by the barrel, I sometimes did. Lyndon Johnson once said, "If those of boys get after you, there ain't nothing you can do but act like a mule in a hail storm and hunker down." Hunkering was not my style. It should have been and my advice to you is to do a little hunkering. The problem with journalists is what I call story line journalism. They already have the story line written and reporting or research is looking for fill. When they ask you a question and it does not result in the response they want, they will always try and get you to agree with them by play- ing "What if" "What if" consists of sup- plying a statement that you can't disagree with. If you don't agree you look foolish. If you do agree the story line is supplied. For example, the reporter might say, "Well yes, but Mayor, what if I could supply information indicating there is corruption in the police department, would you investigate ?" If you say no, you look foolish. You can't say, "Why no, I ran on a platform of increasing corruption in the police depart- ment. I see my program is working" Ob- viously you have to say "yes" If you say yes, the reporter will say you are about to investigate the police department. The story line is provided. Headlines will say, "Mayor Plans Investigation of Police Department." Reporters can always get someone to disagree with you. They can quote you and say: "The mayor said this DESPITE the fact that Assistant Attorney General Bob Smith said . If you refuse to return phone calls or to comment they will say that you refused to comment or did not return REPEATED phone calls, making it look like you are guilty as charged. For example, if the reporter said he had evidence of corrup- tion in the police department and you said, "No Comment" The reporter would then say, "The Mayor refused to comment on these charges" Reporters also like to play one council member against another. This is called "council members in conflict" They can create disagreement where none exists by controlling what is said. I have no advice to you on how to deal with the press. No one can deal with peo- ple who view their job as DEFENDERS OF THE PUBLIC INTEREST. I once had a reporter say, "Yes, but I represent the peo- ple" I said, "That's funny, I don't remem- ber your name being on the ballot last time. What office did you seek ?" Shark feeding is an essential part of every public official's job. The sharks must be fed. The best you can hope is that you can avoid a feeding frenzie with you as the food. I enjoyed my 11 years of service. You will enjoy yours if you find humor in what hap- pens. If you don't try to find humor you run the risk of becoming one of the humor - impaired. Here is my advice. 1. Take notes. 2. Write a book. 3. Get even ❑ 15