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HomeMy WebLinkAboutYour Wedding, 1941.Your wedding Blanche Wheeler Your Wedding OTHER BOOKS BY BLANCHE WHEELER Party Plans — Wedding Anniversaries Party Plans—Showers Party Plans—Children YOUR W BY BLANCHE V` DECORATIONS BY ELI EDDING HEELER ANOR LEWIS Itasca Press; A DIVISION OF THE WEBB PUBLISHING COMPANY Saint Paul -1947 COPYRIGHT, 1941, BY THE WEBB PUBLISHING COMPANY MANUFACTURED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA FOREWORD v J ou ARE GOING CO be married! Excited and happy, you think of all the weddings you have attended or read about, and you picture yourself, looking especially lovely, pledging your vows in the midst of music and flowers with admiring relatives and friends in the background. Then with a start you become aware of practical details. Where should the wedding be held? Should it be large or small? Should you use engraved invitations? Who should be invited ? As these and a hundred other questions come to mind, you decide to consult someone: your mother, Aunt Alice, or a bosom friend. After several discussions, and many conflicting suggestions, you are terribly bewildered and confused. But a wedding need not be difficult and you can make yours a truly beautiful occasion. This book has been designed espe- cially to help you with your plans. All the established customs which through the years have surrounded the wedding cere- mony are described in detail so that you can determine quickly and easily the correct procedure for any kind of wedding. u)Lcalt,, v l CONTENTS One. INVITATIONS AND ANNOUNCEMENTS - 1 ANNOUNCEMENT TO THE PRESS, 1. INVITATIONS, 2: THE INVITATION LIST, 2; THE INVITATION, 2; INFOR- MAL INVITATIONS, 4; MARRIAGE OF THE WIDOW OR DIVORCEE, 4; WHEN PARENTS ARE DECEASED OR DI- VORCED; THE INVITATION TO A MILITARY WEDDING, 7. INVITATIONS TO THE RECEPTION, 7. REPLIES, 7. WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENTS, 8. Two. GIFTS WHEN TO SEND A GIFT, 10. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS, 11. DISPLAY OF GIFTS, 12. Three. THE BRIDE 14 EXPENSES OF THE BRIDE'S FAMILY, 14. THE BRIDAL DINNER, 15. THE BRIDE'S SILVER, 15. THE BRIDE'S LINEN, 16. THE BRIDE NEW NAME, 18. Four. THE GROOM 20 FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS OF THE GROOM, 20. THE RINGS, 21. GIFTS FOR THE BRIDE, BEST MAN, USHERS, 22. FLOWERS, 22. THE BACHELOR DINNER, 23. DUTIES OF THE BEST MAN, 24. vii CONTENTS Five. APPAREL SUGGESTIONS FORMAL DAYTIME WEDDING, 25. FORMAL NING WEDDING, 27. FORMAL GARDEN WEDDIN INFORMAL GARDEN WEDDING, 29. INFORMAL A NOON OR EVENING WEDDING, 30. Six. THE WEDDING THE FORMAL CHURCH WEDDING, 32: .. REHEARSAL, 32; SEATING THE GUESTS AT THE CHURCH, 33; DUTIES OF THE USHERS, 33; THE WEDDING PRO- CESSION, 34; POSITIONS OF BRIDE AND ATTENDANTS, 35; DETAILS TO BE REMEMBERED, 36; THE RECESSION- AL, 36. WEDDING MUSIC, 38. THE FORMAL HOME OR GARDEN WEDDING, 38: GREETING THE GUESTS 38; THE CEREMONY, 39. THE INFORMAL WEDDING, 39: AN INFORMAL HOME WEDDING, 40. THE MILITARY WEDDING, 41. THE CATHOLIC WEDDING, 42. THE JEWISH WEDDING, 42. Seven. THE RECEPTION OR BREAKFAST - - THE RECEIVING LINE, 44: GUESTS AND THE RECEIV- ING LINE, 45. MUSIC FOR THE RECEPTION, 46. THE BRIDE CAKE, 46. THE WEDDING CAKE OR GROOM CAKE, 46. A WEDDING BREAKFAST, 47. RECEPTION MENUS, 47: REQUIREMENTS FOR 125 GUESTS, 48; SERVINGS, 48. AFTER THE RECEPTION, 48: THROW- ING THE BRIDAL BOUQUET, 48; GOOD -BYES, 49. Eight. WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES - - 50 viii -25 EVE- 3, 28. FTER- JING 32 - - 44 1 1 I I 1 1 11 ‚ I I 1 1 11 11 1� ] I 1 YOUR WEDDING CRAPT INVITATIONS AND HEN making wedding be set far enough ahead — t that the bride -to -be will have the many details connected wit tives will undoubtedly want to And, with everyone wishing t period can be a truly glamor o memories for the years to co ANNOUNCEMEN The family of the bride anr This announcement is Should the bride wish her pict picture, with the announcemen the date on which the an better to deliver the picture an d to mail it in. By talking pe department the bride may be a: be clear and correct. WI type or write very -addresses, date of wedding, pla T TO THE PRESS ounces the engagement to the addressed to the society editor. tire to appear in the paper, the nt, should be sent a week ahead n ouncement is to appear. It is announcement in person than rsonally with someone in the ssured that all statements made hen it is not possible to call plainly names, parents' names, ce of wedding, names of schools attended, and any interesting background. The date of the wedding and where it is to take place may be omitted, if it is still undecided. [1] ER ONE ANNOUNCEMENTS plans, the wedding date should h ree months is advisable — so time to consider thoughtfully h a wedding. Friends and rela- entertain the bride and groom. he couple much happiness, this us time, yielding many happy m e. YOUR WEDDING The announcement of the engagement is frequently made to friends and relatives at a luncheon, tea, or dinner. When this is done, the announcement is given to the press on the following day. Very shortly after the announcement of the engagement has been made or the wedding day set, the bride -to -be takes the groom to meet her relatives. His relatives then call on the bride and her relatives. Where the two families have long been friends, these calls are naturally informal ones, the chief purpose being to discuss the wedding plans. THE INVITATION LIST INVITATIONS The invitation list, prepared by the bride and her parents, is made up of friends and relatives of both the bride and the groom. Thr groom's mother sends her list of guests to the mother of the bride. If the wedding is to be a church wedding followed by a reception, the groom's mother includes the names of guests she wishes invited to the reception and to the church. The invitation list should include relatives and intimate friends who may be unable to attend the wedding, since it expresses the thought that you wish they could come. THE INVITATION When a wedding is to be formal, the wedding invitation must follow the accepted form as to wording and arrange- ment. The style of engraving, whether it be script or the more modern shaded letter, is simply a matter of personal preference. The engraving of the At Home, Reception, or Church card should be in the same style as that of the in- [ INVITATIONS AND ANNOUNCEMENTS vitation. A door card of admittance to the church should be enclosed if the public is not to be admitted. For the formal home wedding or the smaller church wed- ding where the number of guests is limited and the expendi- ture must be considered, a smaller size of invitation which is placed in the envelope unfolded may be used. This style is correct from a social standpoint and suggests all the re- finement and dignity of the larger size of invitation. Following is the generally accepted form of invitation: Mr. and Mrs. George Bailey Baxter request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Mary Jane to Mr. Richard David Chandler on Wednesday, the fourth of June at twelve o'clock at Hennepin Avenue Church Boston, Massachusetts Invitations are mailed three weeks before the date set for the wedding. The tissue which covers the invitation, enclosure cards, or announcements should not be removed. Engraver's ink rubs off very easily and the tissue insures the invitation or card being received in perfect condition. For the formal invitation two envelopes are used. The inner envelope containing the invitation and enclosure cards is not sealed and carries only the name of the person or persons to whom it is sent, as Mr. and Mrs. Glen Rogers Rowell. This envelope is inserted in the outer envelope with YOUR WEDDING the name facing the flap for easy reading when it is removed. The outer envelope is sealed and carries the full name and address. No abbreviations must appear except the Mr. and Mrs. The names of the entire family are not included on the same invitation; each grown person should receive an individual invitation. When expense must be considered, it is correct to address the inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. John Wood Miss Marion Wood An invitation may be addressed to two sons, both envelopes addressed to the Messrs. Wood. On the outer envelope never write "and family." This is sometimes done on the inner envelope when the family is a large one or composed of sev- eral younger children. To insure the proper folding and placing of tissues, it is advisable to have the invitations folded and enclosed in the outer envelope before being sent to you from the jeweler or stationery department where they were purchased. Have the outer envelope delivered in advance for addressing. To save time and mistakes the inner envelope should be addressed from the already- addressed outer envelope. INFORMAL INVITATIONS When only a few guests are to be invited to the ceremony and reception, the invitations may be small personal notes sent by the bride to members of the two families and intimate friends, or the engaged couple may make short calls, inviting the guests to attend the ceremony and reception, or the in- vitations may be given by telephone. MARRIAGE OF THE WIDOW OR DIVORCEE When a young widow remarries, the invitations are sent [4] [1 INVITATIONS AND ANNOUNCEMENTS by her parents, who include the bride's married name in the invitations thus: Mr. and Mrs. George Bailey Baxter request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Mary Baxter Bancroft to Mr. Richard David Chandler etc. If her parents are not living, the invitations are issued by a near relative. When she has no relatives she may issue them herself. When the bride -to -be is a widow of more advanced years, marriage announcements rather than wedding invitations are more often sent. She herself may announce the marriage, using her own and her former husband's name: Mrs. Helen Baxter Bancroft and Mr. Richard David Chandler announce their marriage etc. When the bride -to -be is a young woman who has been divorced, she usually does not send formal invitations to her wedding. Instead, she invites her guests verbally or sends personal notes. Her parents send announcements which read : Mr. and Mrs. George Bailey Baxter announce the marriage of their daughter Helen Baxter Bancroft to Mr. Richard David Chandler etc. [5 ] YOUR WEDDING When an older woman who has been divorced remarries, she may announce her own marriage using her maiden and her former husband's name, thus: Mrs. Baxter Bancroft WHEN PARENTS ARE DECEASED OR DIVORCED If both parents of the bride are dead, invitations and an- nouncements may be sent by grandparents, an uncle and aunt, or any close relative. When the bride is living with her father, who has been divorced and again married, the invitations to the wedding and reception are sent by her father. When the bride is living with her mother, who has been divorced and again married, the invitations to the wedding and reception are sent by her mother. THE INVITATION TO A MILITARY WEDDING The invitation to a military wedding is more often engraved in shaded type than in script. The groom does not use a title before his name if his rank is below that of Captain. A form often used, is: Mr. and Mrs. William John Whitman request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Martha Jean to Mr. Norman Ray Hopwood Captain, United States Army on Wednesday, the fourth of June at twelve o'clock at Hennepin Avenue Church Boston, Massachusetts INVITATIONS AND ANNOUNCEMENTS Many officers prefer to use this form: * * * * * * * at the marriage of their daughter to Captain Norman Ray Hopwood An enlisted man does not marry unless he has had per- mission from his captain or a higher officer. His earnings are too small to provide for a wife and he is not allowed living quarters as is the officer. Should he marry, the invita- tion would read: * * * * * * at the marriage of their daughter Martha lean to Mr. Norman Ray Hopwood United States Army INVITATIONS TO THE RECEPTION If a large number of guests are invited to the and only a few to the reception, Reception Cards are enclosed with the invitations sent to those invited to the reception. If the bride has a large reception with the ceremony at- tended only by members of the immediate families, invita- tions are sent to those invited to the reception. This invitation is like a wedding invitation in form and size except that the words marriage reception are used instead of marriage. The time and place is stated in the same manner as in the wed- ding invitation. REPLIES It is not necessary to acknowledge an invitation to a church wedding, but an invitation to the reception or wedding break- [7 J YOUR WEDDING fast must be answered immediately, whether the invitation is accepted or declined. The reply is written by hand in the third person on the first page of white or ivory note paper. The lines should be spaced in the style of the invitation. No name is signed. To accept: To decline: Mr. and Mrs. John Whittier accept with pleasure Mr. and Mrs. Forest Miller's kind invitation for Friday, the fifth of June Mr. and Mrs. John Whittier regret that they are unable to accept Mr. and Mrs. Forest Miller's kind invitation for Friday, the fifth of June WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENTS Announcements are sent to those who were not invited to be present at either the ceremony or reception. The style of engraving should be the same as that selected for the wedding invitations. These should be addressed and ready for mailing before the ceremony and should be mailed immediately after the wedding. When the wedding is small and informal and only members of the family and a few close friends have been invited per- sonally or by note, announcements are sent to inform other friends and relatives of the marriage. The list should include the entire circle of friends and relatives of both bride and groom. [ INVITATIONS AND ANNOUNCEMENTS The usual form of a marriage announcement is: Mr. and Mrs. George Bailey Baxter announce the marriage of their daughter Mary Jane to Mr. Richard David Chandler on Wednesday, the twenty -sixth of April Nineteen hundred and forty -one at Hennepin Avenue Church Boston, Massachusetts The name of the church is omitted if the wedding takes place elsewhere. The second line may read "have the honour of announcing" with the words "the marriage of their daugh- ter" forming a line below. [9I CHAPTER TWO GIFTS =- ) M■EDIA TELY after invitations to a wedding have been sent, gifts usually start pouring in. If the wedding is a large one, the gifts will arrive in great numbers and the bride -to- be must allow time before the wedding to thank each donor through means of a written note. Verbal or telephone mes- sages will not suffice in connection with wedding gifts. The bride should decide early upon the kind of glassware, china and silverware she wishes and she should record her choice with the store which carries that particular pattern. Thus the salespeople will be able to suggest appropriate gifts and friends and relatives can buy with the comforting assur- ance that their choice will be what the bride -to -be desires. When gifts are duplicated, the bride should not hesitate to exchange them for other articles. Sensible people would prefer that the bride have something she can use rather than have a gift stored on a shelf. In selecting gifts, a considerate guest will not attempt to choose furniture or decorative articles for the bride's new home unless he or she is thoroughly familiar with the bride's taste and her plans. WHEN TO SEND A GIFT It is not necessary to send a gift when one is invited to the church only, although it is perfectly correct to do so.. It [10] GIFTS is customary to send a gift if one is invited to the wedding reception. All gifts should be sent and addressed to the bride. An engraved visiting card is enclosed. If a joint -name card is not available separate cards for husband and wife may be used; or the names may be written on a plain white card. Messages, such as "Wishing you much happiness," are some- times added. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Each gift must be acknowledged promptly. If "thank you" notes are written as the gifts arrive, each gift will be acknowl- edged in the enthusiasm of receiving it and the writing will be a pleasure instead of a burden. When gifts are received on the evening or day of the wed- ding, making it impossible to acknowledge them until after the wedding trip, the note should include the reason for the delay. A "thank you" note should be sincere and informal and written on the best of note paper. It need not be long: Dear Jane — The beautiful breakfast set you so thoughtfully selected for john and me is one of our most cher- ished gifts. One of the nicest things about it is that every single morning, rain or shine, we shall enjoy using it. And every time we feast our eyes on its lovely color and design, you shall be in our thoughts. We both do thank you so much and won't you drop in some Sunday morning and have breakfast with us? Sincerely, Margaret YOUR WEDDING A more formal note is written when a check or a gift has been sent from the office force: Dear Mr. White — How kind it was of all of you at the office to send us the wonderful check. Please do thank everyone for both John and myself and tell them we are buying a game table, something we both have wanted so much. And now that we have it, we feel we are about the luckiest couple in the world. As soon as we are settled we want you all to come out some evening and help us enjoy it. Most sincerely, Ruth Ellis Palmer As the gifts arrive and are unpacked, enter the name of We sender and a description of the present in a book made especially for this purpose. As soon as the "thank you" note has been written and mailed, put a check in the record book in the column under "Acknowledged." This gift book should be fastened to the table on which the packages are usually opened, so that it will always be at hand and will not be mislaid. DISPLAY OF GIFTS It is not necessary to display the wedding gifts on the day of the wedding, but it is customary and correct to do so. Many do and many do not, but if any of the gifts are dis- played, all must be, with the exception of checks. To remove the cards is considered better taste, but it is equally correct to leave them with the gifts. When the wedding ceremony takes place at a hotel or 12 I I I I I I I l 1 1 GIFTS club, or in any public place, the gifts are not shown there, but instead at the bride's home several days before the wed- ding. Friends often are invited for an informal afternoon tea, so that they may have an opportunity to see the gifts. If possible, a certain room should be set aside and the gifts arranged on tables. Instead of placing all silver in one place and china in another, make the tables unusual and interesting by combining various types of gifts, never for- getting color and balance. Instead of showing an entire set of china and crystal, arrange one complete service with silver, plate, cup and saucer, and glass. When the wedding is large and there are many gifts, dis- play space may be a problem. This can be solved by renting plank tables from a caterer or church, where they are often used for church dinners. They can be covered with interest- ing but inexpensive material purchased by the yard. Do not select a figured material, but rather something in lovely, soft plain color. 1� ] a CHAPTER THREE THE BRIDE p�- SOON as the engagement is announced and the date of the wedding is set, preparations begin in earnest. The bride's family always gives the wedding and decides whether it is to be formal or informal, large or small. All plans for the wedding will be in accord with the wishes of the bride, for the wedding day is definitely her day and her parents are the hosts on this occasion. EXPENSES OF THE BRIDE'S FAMILY The bride's parents assume all expenses connected with the wedding. These include: Engraving, addressing, and mailing of invitations, cards, and announcements All expenses in connection with the church or wherever the wedding may be held, including decorations for the church and home, and the music, as well as conveyances for the bride and her attendants to and from the church Wedding breakfast or reception Boxes of wedding cake to he given to the guests (this is not essential) Trousseau of the bride Wedding photographs Bride's gift to the bridesmaids and maid of honor Bridesmaids' flowers [14] THE BRIDE THE BRIDAL DINNER Although the groom's family may be given this honor, the family of the bride usually gives the bridal dinner a few days before the day of the wedding. The guests invited include all members of the bridal party, the mothers and fathers of the bride and groom, the clergyman and his wife. This occasion furnishes a splendid opportunity for the wedding rehearsal because all who take part are assembled. The rehearsal may take place before or after the dinner. At the bridal dinner, the bride and groom, with the bride at the groom's right, are seated at one end of the table. The maid or matron of honor sits at the left of the groom and the best man at the right of the bride. The father of the bride, with the mother of the groom at his left, sits at the opposite end of the table. The groom's father is placed at the left of the groom's mother and the bride's mother at the right of the bride's father. The clergyman sits at the right of the bride's mother, and the clergyman's wife at the left of the groom's father. Bridesmaids and ushers are seated between the two ends. THE BRIDE'S SILVER Since a bride's sterling silver will likely become the heritage of her children, she should make her selection carefully and should make it early in order to give the jeweler the oppor- tunity to register her choice in his record book. If this is done, duplications can be avoided when wedding gifts are selected. The flatware silver is usually given by the family of the bride as this is one of the oldest traditions connected with a wedding. It may also be given by the family of the groom, [15] YOUR WEDDING by various relatives, or even intimate friends. The bride de- termines the choice of patterns. Monogramming the silver is important. The bride doubt- less will have a preference for a certain type of lettering, but if an experienced jeweler is consulted, he will suggest the most suitable style for the pattern selected. Engraving flatware silver with the initials of the bride's name has been customary in the past but there is a trend toward using the initials of her new name. The monogram may also combine the initials of the bride's first and last names with that of the groom's last name. For a well- appointed home the minimum flatware silver includes cream -soup spoons, teaspoons, dessert spoons, after - dinner coffee spoons, dinner knives, dinner forks, salad forks, cocktail forks, butter spreaders, serving spoons and forks, gravy ladle, carving set, and relish fork. When the flatware silver is given by the bride's family, the groom's family often presents the hollow ware and occasional pieces. A coffee set consists of coffee pot, sugar bowl, cream pitcher, and tray. A complete tea set includes teapot, sugar bowl, cream pitcher, waste bowl, tea strainer, and tray. Other pieces of hollow ware are platters, covered vegetable dish, compartment vegetable dish, candelabras, candlesticks, com- potes, and flower holders. THE BRIDE LINEN Before a bride selects her household linen she should con- sider many things: whether her new home is to be modest or elaborate, the amount of entertaining she and her husband may do, and how much she can afford to spend. All brides would like to have the luxury of an endless [16] FOR THE KITCHEN : Twelve dish towels Six glass towels Six hand towels Six dish cloths Three dust cloths THE BRIDE amount of linen for their homes, but with the whole world in a turmoil, many must keep within the limits of a small purse. A minimum supply would be: FOR THE DINING ROOM: One formal dinner cloth, lace or embroidered linen and napkins One damask dinner cloth and eight matching napkins One dozen napkins One dozen tea napkins One dozen cocktail napkins Two luncheon sets Two breakfast sets Two bridge sets Two luncheon place mat sets One dozen finger bowl doilies FOR THE BATHROOM : Six large bath towels Six smaller turkish towels One dozen linen hand towels Six guest towels Two bathroom rugs Two bath mats One shower curtain YOUR WEDDING FOR EACH BEDROOM -LINEN FOR ONE BED) : Six sheets Twelve cases One pair winter blankets One pair summer blankets One down or wool comforter Two blanket covers One mattress pad Scarves for dresser, vanity, chest of drawers Good quality sheets and cases are much more durable and will outlast the more inexpensive qualities. Colored sheets are interesting but the white will look much better after fre- quent laundering. Percale sheets are expensive but are very fine and smooth. Towels may be white or gay in color. A good quality is more economical and satisfactory for wear than inexpensive grades. Brides mark their linens with the maiden monogram since this is traditional. The more modern may wish to use the new monogram. Monograms definitely make a bride's linen very personal and may be done by hand or machine. THE BRIDE'S NEW NAME Often a bride is confused as to how to use her new married name, and, since there are accepted rules, she should be familiar with what is correct. Mary Ellen Dodge has married Robert Sloan Vincent. Her formal name is Mrs. Robert Sloan Vincent. Her informal name is Mary Dodge Vincent. When signing a letter whether it be business or social, she uses her informal name, Mary Dodge Vincent, but writes her formal name, Mrs. Robert Sloan Vincent, in parentheses underneath, or places it to the [18) THE BRIDE left of the page. She must never combine her informal and formal name by signing it, Mrs. Mary Dodge Vincent. Her formal name is engraved on formal invitations and visiting cards. When a bride is giving her name to others where they wish information, such as for a delivery from a store, a membership to an organization, she uses her formal name. When a bride's husband has a title, she has no right to use it, and does not sign her name "Mrs. Dr. Vincent." When a man and his wife arrive at a hotel, he registers for them both. He writes "Mr. and Mrs. Robert Vincent" and the city and state from which they have come. Should the wife arrive alone she registers using her formal name "Mrs. Robert Sloan Vincent." [19J CHAPTER FOUR THE CROOM 7 HE PERIOD between the announcement of the wedding and the date of the ceremony is a very busy time for the groom. As soon as his bride -to -be decides on the kind of wedding it is to be, the groom must choose his best man and ushers. He must see that he has the proper clothes both for the ceremony and the wedding trip. He buys what he will need if he does not already have the necessary articles in his wardrobe. He will plan and make the final arrangements, with the help of the bride, for the wedding trip and for an apartment or home. In addition he will have certain definite expenses connected with the wedding itself. FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS OF THE GROOM The expenses incidental to the wedding, usually borne by the groom are as follows: Marriage license Wedding ring A gift to his bride (something personal, usually in the form of jewelry) Bouquet carried by the bride Corsage for the mothers of the bride and groom Boutonnieres for the best man 'and ushers Personal gifts to best man and ushers Ties and gloves for best man and ushers (this is optional) [20] THE GROOM Clergyman's fee (ten to fifty dollars, depending on the groom's means, the size of the wedding, importance of the clergyman officiating). This is generally in the form of a check and placed in an envelope. The usual fee for a church wedding is twenty five dollars. A car to take himself and best man to the wedding All expenses of the wedding trip THE RINGS The engagement and wedding rings are selected by the groom, but he often consults his fiancee as to the design. Frequently she goes with him to the jewelers to make the final choice from a group he has previously selected. The engagement ring is usually set with a diamond since this symbolizes eternal love, but other stones may be used. Whether the ring be costly or inexpensive, the sentimental value is the same to the girl who is to wear it. A good jeweler will have rings of various prices and will be able to advise in the matter of design and quality. It is not the size of the diamond which determines the cost; rather it is the weight, size, and color of the stone, and its freedom from flaws. The trend now is toward matching engagement and wed- ding rings, since rings especially designed to be worn to- gether look better on the hand. The two matching rings are usually purchased at the same time. Platinum is the most desired setting for the engagement ring and wedding band but, since it is somewhat costly, white gold is more often used. Today there is a return to the yellow gold ring, the band more narrow than in former years. Often the wedding ring is set with diamonds, which may [21 ] Knife and chain Smart cuff links Silver or gold pencil Silver bill clip Dress set YOUR WEDDING GIFT SUGGESTIONS FOR THE USHERS: extend halfway or entirely around the ring. Or it may be perfectly plain and unadorned. Regardless of design or style, these rings will always be cherished as symbols of mutual vows of loyalty and devotion. GIFTS FOR THE BRIDE, BEST MAN, USHERS The groom usually gives the bride a gift on their wedding day. This often is a piece of jewelry which she wears as her only ornament. It is customary for the groom to give his best man and ushers a gift before the wedding. Usually these are presented at the bachelor dinner. If he does not have this dinner he presents the gifts before or immediately after the wedding rehearsal. They can range in price from a simple remem- brance to an expensive gift, depending on the groom's finances. The gift to the best man differs from that of the ushers and is often a personal bit of jewelry or accessories. The gifts to the ushers should be identical and, since it is desirable that the dress of the ushers be the same, the groom often sends a box of accessories to each usher which are alike in color and design. Wallet Belt buckle Key ring and chain Compact toilet set Key case FLOWERS The groom pays for his bride's wedding bouquet. He may or may not pay for the bridesmaids' bouquets. More often [221 THE GROOM the parents of the bride assume this expense since it really forms part of the decoration for the wedding. He sends both the mother of the bride and his own mother a corsage on the day of the wedding. He is careful to order flowers which will be in harmony with their gowns. THE BACHELOR DINNER This dinner for the groom is a stag affair and is given by his family or friends, or by the groom himself. Since it is strictly an informal dinner, guests are invited either by word of mouth, telephone, or by a short personal note. At this time the groom's gifts are usually presented to the best man and ushers and may be put at their places at the table. The guests include the best man, ushers, close and personal friends of the groom. The bride's father and the father of the groom are invited, but as this is usually a young man's party they often do not accept the invitation. If they do, they leave shortly after dinner while the younger men stay on until late hours. This dinner may take place the evening before the wedding if out-of -town guests are unable to ar- rive before that time. Often it is given several evenings be- fore the ceremony. It is a man's dinner from start to finish. A woman does not even greet the guests or take part in any way, aside from seeing that the dinner is prepared and served, should it be given at a home rather than at a club or hotel. At the climax of the dinner a toast is proposed by the best man to the bride. Other guests may then propose a toast to the groom, the wedding couple, the other attendants, the father of the bride, the father of the groom. Not to give this dinner is perfectly proper as it is a matter of personal taste. [ 23 11 YOUR WEDDING DUTIES OF THE BEST MAN It is the duty of the best man to assist the groom in every possible way before and after the ceremony. He is informed as to the arrangements for the wedding, the reception, and the honeymoon, and he reminds the groom of numerous de- tails, attending to many of them himself. His duties will include: Proposing the toast to the bride at the bachelor dinner Having the marriage license at the proper place Making sure the groom has a new bill or check made out for the clergyman or priest Checking to see that bags are packed and placed in the groom's automobile or taken to the train Helping the groom dress for the wedding, checking on boutonniere, and small details Accompanying him to the church or home where the wed- ding takes place Presenting the ring at the proper time After the recessional, presenting the fee to the clergyman Helping the groom change from his wedding clothes to his traveling clothes Assisting the young couple in their dash to the car, pro- tecting them in every way possible, from mischievous friends [241 tie, CHAPTER FIVE APPAREL SUGGESTIONS HE GOWNS worn by the different members of the bridal party should be appropriate to the degree of formality planned for the wedding as a whole. The groom's apparel is in keep- ing with that of the bride. That of the best man and the ushers follow the same degree of formality as the groom's. All ushers dress exactly alike, including their accessories. By wearing a different type of collar and tie, the groom and best man are often set apart from the rest of the bridal party. FORMAL DAYTIME WEDDING The bride's gown may be the traditional white satin or, if she prefers, it may be of crepe, lace, taffeta, moire, or velvet. For the spring or summer wedding, sheer materials, such as net, chiffon, organza or mousseline de soie may be worn. White, ivory, blush pink, and ice blue are colors that are popular. For the last fitting of her wedding gown it is most important that the bride wear the new foundation gar- ment and slip; not to do this may mar the line of the dress on her wedding day. Gloves are not necessary when the gown has long sleeves. Shoes match the gown. The veil may be long or fingertip and may be made of modern material or of old lace which is often a family heirloom. If old lace is used, it is not cut but is draped to hang gracefully. The bride may carry a bridal bouquet or a white prayer book. [25] YOUR WEDDING The bridesmaids' gowns, hats, shoes, and accessories may contrast or be all of one color. Harmony and becomingness of colors should be kept in mind when making the selection of gowns. A formal length dress is worn and, if the sleeves of the gown are long, gloves are unnecessary. Bridesmaids' bou- quets differ from the bride's bouquet but should harmonize in color. The gown worn by the maid of honor should contrast with that of the bridesmaids or be in a deeper shade. Her bouquet also differs from those of the bridesmaids. If the sleeves of the gown are short, gloves are worn. The costume for the flower girl may be an attractive party dress or a costume -type frock with a long skirt, high waist, and short puff sleeves. The head covering may be a bonn,°t with a brim completely framing the face. The groom, best man, and ushers wear cutaway coats, dark gray striped trousers, white shirts with stiff cuffs, wing collars, and top hats for the formal daytime wedding. A four -in -hand or an Ascot tie is worn with a wing collar. Black, white, or gray waistcoat, black shoes with or without toe -caps; white, pearl, or fawn gloves and spats of the same color may be worn. All boutonnieres are white. The best man's differs from that of the groom; those of the ushers differ from that of the best man. This attire is worn at a formal daytime wedding whether it is a church wedding in the city or a formal garden wedding in the country. The gowns worn by the mothers of the bride and groom may be in any becoming soft color. The length is formal and the neck medium low. Hats and accessories may match or contrast. Corsages sent by the groom are worn. [26] APPAREL SUGGESTIONS The fathers wear the same attire as the groom, with bou- tonnieres to match that of the best man. Street - length dresses with becoming hats are most appropri- ate for the women guests. Accessories may match or con- trast. The men guests may wear cutaway coats, the same as that of the groom, or oxford jackets, with striped trousers, white shirts, stiff collars, black shoes and hose, gray or fawn gloves and Homburg hats. Up to five thirty, when formal daytime dress is required and a dinner or reception is given, the guests remain in their formal daytime dress until the end of the reception. Guests who arrive after seven o'clock may wear either formal day- time dress or evening dress. FORMAL EVENING WEDDING The bride wears the same type of dress for the formal evening wedding as for the formal daytime wedding. The veil may be long or fingertip. Long gloves are worn when sleeves of the dress are short. Slippers match the gown. Conservative decolletage or formal evening gowns with short jackets or cap sleeves may be worn by the bridesmaids. Shoes and accessories match or contrast. Bouquets harmonize with the dresses. Headdresses or ornaments for the hair are worn, as many churches require that women's heads be covered. The maid of honor wears a gown of the same general style as those of the bridesmaids in a color to harmonize or con- trast. Her bouquet also differs. The little flower girl's costume is the same as that described for the formal daytime wedding. The groom, best man, and ushers all wear full evening [27] YOUR WEDDING FORMAL GARDEN WEDDING dress with white stiff shirts, white bow ties, vests of white pique, white handkerchiefs, white kid gloves, black patent pumps, black hose, cuff- links, studs of pearl, and high silk hats. The boutonniere, for the groom, is lily -of- the - valley, for the best man, gardenia, and for the ushers, white carna- tion. For the mothers, formal evening dress is in order with accessories to match or contrast, also long gloves, a corsage and, in certain churches, head coverings. The fathers dress like the groom. Their boutonnieres usu- ally match that of the best man. Formal evening dresses, with long gloves and head cover- ings, if necessary, are worn by the women guests while the men wear full evening dress, the same as the ushers, but no boutonnieres. The bride may wear the traditional wedding gown and accessories as for the formal daytime wedding but, since the wedding takes place out of doors, she often selects a lighter, more airy material than satin for her gown. Such materials are listed under formal daytime wedding. In other respects, her attire is the same as for the formal daytime wedding. The bridesmaids wear formal daytime dresses, made of material which is dainty and light in color and texture. Large garden hats are appropriate for this type of wedding. Gloves are not required but are often worn as part of the costume. The dregs wnrn by the maid of honor may contrast in color or design with those worn by the bridesmaids, but the ma- terial is of the same general type. Accessories are the same as for the bridesmaids, but the bouquet is different. 28 APPAREL SUGGESTIONS The groom, best man, and ushers all wear formal daytime attire: cutaway coats, with white linen waistcoats and gray striped trousers. White gloves, accessories, boutonnieres, etc., are also the same as for formal daytime wedding. Families and guests wear formal daytime clothes as de- scribed for the formal daytime wedding. INFORMAL GARDEN WEDDING If preferred, the bride may wear the traditional wedding gown. More often she chooses a garden party type of dress and hat. This gown should be of a material which is deli- cate and dainty such as organdy, chiffon, net, or any of the sheer cottons. If the wedding is very simple a hat is not necessary. The bouquet should be appropriate. Garden flowers are lovely with this kind of wedding. Any dresses appropriate to wear to a garden party are selected for the bridesmaids, the length in keeping with the bride's gown. Gloves are not necessary. Hats when worn are usually large and decorative. Should the bride carry the garden type of flowers, bridesmaids will do the same, but the bouquets should differ. The maid of honor wears any garden party type of dress which differs from those of the bridesmaids. Her flowers also are different. Formal afternoon clothes described under Formal After- noon Wedding may be worn by the groom, best man, and ushers. It also is correct to wear white linen or gabardine suits, light flannels and dark coats, or summer business suits. Shoes and hose should be in keeping with the type of clothes worn. All wear boutonnieres but gloves are not necessary with linen or flannel suits. L YOUR WEDDING Any becoming summer dress light in color may be selected by the mothers. Hats are not necessary, nor are gloves, but both wear corsages. The fathers wear the same type of suit as is worn by the groom. Their boutonnieres are the same as for the best man. Women guests wear light colored afternoon dresses with or without hats and gloves while the men may be attired in summer business suits or suits of white linen or light flannels with dark coats and dress shoes. INFORMAL AFTERNOON OR EVENING WEDDING The bride wears an afternoon or a dinner type dress, de- pending on the time of day, in any becoming color, with harmonizing hat and shoes. She may have a choice of carry- ing a bouquet or wearing a corsage. It is perfectly correct to be married in a traveling costume if the bride prefers. In this case, she wears a small corsage. The bridesmaids and maid of honor wear afternoon or dinner dresses, according to the time of the wedding. Their dresses should be the same length as the bride's. Colors should contrast. If the bride wears her traveling costume, the same type of tailored clothes are worn by the attendants. For an informal wedding the bride usually has one attendant although she may have two. The groom, best man, and ushers wear dark blue or gray business suits with white shirts, white fold collars, conserva- tive four -in -hand ties, black shoes and hose, and felt hats. Gloves are not required but if worn they are gray or fawn. Boutonnieres are small. The mothers' dresses are the same length as the bride's. Gloves are not necessary. Accessories and hats may match or contrast. [30] APPAREL SUGGESTIONS The fathers dress like the groom. Their boutonnieres match that of the best man. Afternoon or informal party frocks with hats and acces- sories, matching or contrasting, are worn by women guests. Men wear dark business suits with white shirts, stiff collars and conservative ties. CHAPTER SIX THE WEDDING 7 HE FORMAL church wedding is a beautiful and impressive occasion, but it calls for a considerable expenditure of time, effort, and money. The informal wedding can be just as charming and dignified with much less expenditure. The wise bride, no matter how large her circle of friends and relatives, will plan a wedding which is in keeping with her own or her parents' circumstances and means. THE FORMAL CHURCH WEDDING The hour considered most fashionable for a formal after- noon wedding is four o'clock. Should the ceremony take place at five o'clock and the reception last until six o'clock, it is still looked upon as an afternoon wedding. A formal evening wedding usually takes place at half after eight o'clock. Those marrying in the Catholic Church are required to have the ceremony in the morning. A formal wedding in a Catholic Church may be either at ten o'clock or high noon. THE WEDDING REHEARSAL In order to make final decisions regarding the music, deco- rations, seating of the guests, the manner in which the brides- maids and ushers are to walk, and the places they are to stand during the ceremony, a wedding rehearsal is necessary and is given usually the evening before the wedding, although it may be several evenings earlier. The bride does not participate but [32] THE WEDDING has a substitute, which leaves her free to make suggestions and corrections. No word of the service is spoken. An important detail is marking the time of the wedding march and deciding the speed at which it should be played, so it is essential that the organist be present at the rehearsal as well as the entire bridal party. All start with the left foot, each pair of bridesmaids and ushers about four beats apart. Before the bride and her father start, they count eight beats. SEATING THE GUESTS AT THE CHURCH Flowers or ribbons may be used to mark the section re- served for the families and intimate friends, or the ribbons or flowers may be stretched the length of the main aisle. As one enters the church, the front pew at the left of the center aisle is reserved for the bride's family. The front pew on the right side is reserved for the groom's family. Front sections may also be reserved for intimate friends, the left side for the bride's friends, the right -hand side for the groom's. If cards for reserved seats have been sent, the ushers should have a list of pews and the names of the guests who are to sit in them. If guests do not have "reserved" cards, the usher quietly asks whether they are friends of the bride or of the groom. If friends of the bride, he seats them on the left -hand side of the church. If friends of the groom, he seats them on the right. DUTIES OF THE USHERS It is the duty of the ushers to be at the church early, at least half an hour before the ceremony. They remove their hats and coats in the vestry or coatroom where they find boutonnieres waiting for them. To avoid last minute delays, one certain person should take charge. [ 33 1 YOUR WEDDING Each usher stands at the door and as each woman guest arrives he offers his right arm, asking whether she is a friend of the bride or of the groom. If several women arrive at the same time he offers his right arm to the eldest and the others follow. A gentleman who is with a lady walks a step behind his companion and usher when being shown to a seat. The head usher takes the mother of the groom down the aisle, seating her in the front pew on the right. The father of the groom walks behind them and takes his place beside his wife. The bride's mother is the last one to be seated before the bridal procession starts down the aisle. She is escorted to her seat by the head usher. After the entrance of the bride's mother, no guests are seated. Immediately after the bride's mother has been seated, the usher returns to the vestibule and takes his place in the pro- cession. As soon as the bride and her father arrive and take their place in the bridal procession, the church doors are closed and the ceremony starts. THE WEDDING PROCESSION As the wedding march begins, the clergyman enters the chancel. The groom and best man also enter from the vestry room. The groom takes his position at the head of the aisle on the right -hand side. Removing his right glove, he holds it in his hand. The best man stands directly back and to the right of the groom but does not remove his gloves. The ushers lead the wedding procession and as the first notes of the wedding march are heard, they enter and walk [34 l 1 THE WEDDING slowly down the aisle, four paces apart, two by two, arranged according to height. The bridesmaids follow in the same manner, followed by the matron or maid of honor, who walks alone. The flower girl walks in front of the bride. The bride and her father are the last to enter and walk down the aisle, her left hand on his right arm. The bride may choose a brother or uncle or other male relative if she has no father, or she may walk alone and be given away by her mother, who responds to the question "who giveth this woman" from where she stands. The order summarized is: I. Ushers, two by two 2. Bridesmaids, two by two 3. Matron or maid of honor, alone 4. Flower girl or boy, alone 5. Bride and her father The bridal procession starts from the vestibule. POSITIONS OF BRIDE AND ATTENDANTS The positions of the bride and attendants at the altar vary in Catholic and Protestant churches. The details of a Catholic service are given on page 42. In a Protestant church, when the bride reaches the head of the aisle where the groom is waiting, she withdraws her left hand from her father's arm, changes her bouquet from the right to the left arm, and places her right hand in the bridegroom's left hand. Then together they face the altar. The bride's father remains standing near the couple until he gives his response to the question "Who giveth this woman in marriage ?" He then takes a place in the front pew to the left of the middle aisle. [ 35 ] YOUR WEDDING The position of the matron or maid of honor is a step back and to the left of the bride. The best man's position is a step back and to the right of the groom. The ushers divide at the foot of the chancel. The first two go up the chancel steps and stand at the top, one on the right, the other on the left. The second two go a step or two below the first ushers. If there are more ushers, they stand below the second two. The bridesmaids also divide, half on the right and half on the left, and stand in front of the ushers. The flower girl is placed wherever it is thought best. The exact arrange- ment of the ushers, bridesmaids, and flower girl at the altar are details which should be decided upon at the rehearsal. The organist brings the march to a close as soon as the bride and groom have taken their places. DETAILS TO BE REMEMBERED If the bride wears gloves she should remove the left one, or the ring finger of the left glove should be slit. Before the ceremony the engagement ring should be removed or trans- ferred to the right hand, as the wedding ring is worn first, with the engagement ring above it. The best man should remember his cue and present the ring at the proper time during the ceremony. The matron or maid of honor takes the bride's bouquet when the ring is about to be slipped on. It is also the duty of the matron or maid of honor to adjust the bride's veil before the recessional starts. THE RECESSIONAL The recessional is the reverse of the processional. After the minister has congratulated the couple at the conclusion of [36] 1 THE WEDDING the ceremony the recessional music begins. The bride takes her bouquet from her maid of honor and places it on her right arm. Then she and her husband, her left hand through his right arm, descend the steps. The order of the recessional is: 1. Bride and bridegroom, together 2. Flower girl, alone 3. Matron or maid of honor, alone 4. Bridesmaids, two by two 5. Ushers, two by two It is important to remember that the best man does not take part in the recessional. Instead he goes to the vestry room where he collects the groom's belongings and hurries to the entry to give them to the groom. He then returns to the vestry where he gives the fee to the clergyman, collects his own belongings, and goes to the bride's home or wherever the reception is to be held. When the recessional is over, the ushers return to the front of the church and escort to the door all the ladies who were seated in the front pews. Guests at a church wedding remain seated until the end of the recessional and members of the immediate families have left the church. These guests are not ushered out. Order of leaving the church for the reception: 1. The bride's car, with the bride and groom alone leaves first, followed by 2. Bridesmaids 3. Parents of bride 4. Parents of groom 5. Remaining cars occupied by immediate families of the bride and groom, clergyman, ushers and other guests [37] YOUR WEDDING WEDDING MUSIC While guests are assembling at a church wedding, the or ganist plays appropriate music, such as: Liebestraum by Liszt Spring Song by Mendelssohn The Old Refrain by Kreisler Ave Maria by Gounod Serenade by Drigo Vocal music also adds to the beauty and dignity of the occasion, especially when a gifted singer presents such favor- ites as: I Love You Truly by Carrie Jacobs Bond My Heart at Thy Sweet Voice from Samson and Delilah by Saint -Saens At Dawning by Cadman THE FORMAL HOME OR GARDEN WEDDING The procedure for the formal home or garden wedding is very much the same as for the formal church wedding just described. If in a home or garden, an altar is improvised of flowers and greenery. Candles may be used indoors. Instead of the organ, a string quartette or a piano, violin, and cello furnish the musical background. GREETING THE GUESTS The mother of the bride, as hostess, greets the guests, and when all have arrived she takes her place with her family at the left of the altar. The guests stand in two groups so as to form an aisle down which the bridal party marches. This aisle may be marked with ribbons. The ushers have no particular duties at a formal home wedding except to take part in the processional. [38 ] THE CEREMONY THE WEDDING The wedding procession follows the same order as for a church wedding. If the bride's home has an open stairway, the processional may start from the second floor, the bride and her attendants forming a lovely picture as they descend. The groom and best man enter from wherever is most convenient and take their places at the right -hand side in the same man. ner as in church. The attendants divide and face the altar at either side of the clergyman. At the conclusion of the ceremony, the bridal couple turns to receive the good wishes of their friends and relatives. Since the reception or breakfast follows immediately in the home or on the grounds there is no recessional. • THE INFORMAL WEDDING The informal wedding can be very simple or quite elabo. rate. The real difference between the formal and informal wedding is in the matter of invitations, number of attendants. and attire. Rather than the engraved invitations as for the formal wedding, a short note may be sent by the mother of the bride, or the bride herself may write them. The telephone is often used to invite guests to an informal wedding or the bride and groom may make personal calls inviting friends and relatives. The informal wedding may take place in a home, church, chapel; or rectory, and in the morning, afternoon, or evening. The bridal attendants usually consist of the best man and the maid or matron of honor, but no ushers. Attire for the bridal party and guests for an informal wedding is described in the chapter on Apparel Suggestions. A reception, breakfast, or YOUR WEDDING supper follows the wedding ceremony and may also be given in the home, club, or hotel. Careful attention to all details connected with the ceremony and reception can make the informal wedding as impressive as a formal one. Following is a description of an informal home wedding which has all the dignity and charm of a formal wedding: AN INFORMAL HOME WEDDING In the living room a space is set apart to take the place of the altar. Delicate greenery, flowers, and tall lighted tapers are used to form a lovely background for the ceremony. The bridal party does not appear before the ceremony. The bride's mother, as hostess, greets the guests, and the father mingles with them until the cue is given for the wedding march. He then quietly slips away and is next seen with the bride on his arm coming into the room. A harp and violin, accompanied by a piano, or two violins and a cello furnish the music. In addition to the wedding march, selections as for the formal wedding are played. As time draws near for the start of the wedding proces- sion, the bride's mother and members of her family stand near the altar to the left, the groom's family take their places at the right. Shortly before the bride appears, the clergyman takes his place. The groom, preceded by the best man, then enters from another door than that used by the bride. They take their places standing to the right of the clergyman, the best man to the right of the groom. Guests also stand at either side so as to form an aisle for the bridal party as they walk towards the altar. As the wedding march is played, the maid or matron [40] 1 1 THE WEDDING of honor comes into the room, followed at a short interval by the bride and her father. The groom steps forward to take his place beside the bride, her father places the bride's hand in the groom's and then steps back to stand next to the bride's mother. The maid of honor takes her position to the left and a step back of the bride. The ceremony is conducted in the same manner as for a church wedding with the exception that the recessional is not played at a home wedding. After the ceremony the groom kisses the bride and both receive congratulations and the good wishes from the clergyman. They then turn and hold a recep- tion for the guests, the other guests waiting until the mothers and fathers and other members of the families have wished the couple much joy and happiness. The refreshments which may be served at the reception and the leave - taking of the bridal couple are described in the following chapter. THE MILITARY WEDDING The pageantry of a military wedding is most colorful, with the groom, the best man and ushers in officers' uniforms, the regimental colors of the groom crossed above the chaplain, and an arch made of crossed sabers. The procession and ceremony is the same as at any other marriage until the couple leave the church. The members of the bridal party then line up on opposite sides of the aisle, the ushers draw their sabers and, while they are crossed above, the bridal couple march beneath them. The sabers are then returned to their places and the attendants follow the bridal couple out of the church. Rather than crossing sabers in the aisle of the church, some prefer to have this ceremony take place on the steps of the church. [41] YOUR WEDDING The enlisted man's wedding is less formal than that of his officers. The best man and ushers wear the standard uniforms and, rather than crossing sabers, they cross their rifles. The ceremony of course is the same as for the more formal wedding. When an officer marries, his bride usually cuts the wedding cake with her husband's sword. Soon after a bride arrives at the army post, the regimental band serenades her, and within a very short time all the officers as well as their families call on her, making her wel- come to army life. THE CATHOLIC WEDDING The wedding pageant, processional and recessional, in the Catholic Church are similar to those in the Protestant Church. The attire of the bridal party, the number and duties of the attendants are exactly the same as described under apparel suggestions for the formal and informal wedding. The chief difference is that the father of the bride does not give her away as in the Protestant service but merely escorts her to the head of the aisle and then goes to his pew. The bridesmaids and ushers usually divide at the altar, the bridesmaids going to the left and the ushers to the right. The hour for the Catholic Church ceremony is always in the morning. The formal wedding takes place at high noon or at ten o'clock. Most Catholic weddings take place at an earlier hour, often at eight o'clock. THE JEWISH WEDDING The Reform Jewish wedding follows the Gentile customs in attire, attendants, and processional. A large or formal wed- ding usually takes place at a club or hotel while the small or 42 THE WEDDING informal wedding is held in the home of the bride. The recep- tion or wedding repast follows the ceremony. The Orthodox Jewish wedding usually takes place in the synagogue or sometimes in a hotel or club. With the Ortho- dox ritual the attendants and processional are not used. A wedding reception or feast follows the ceremony as with other weddings. CHAPTER SEVEN THE RECEPTION OR BREAKFAST 7 HE RECEPTION or breakfast follows immediately after the wedding service. A morning or noon wedding is followed by a wedding breakfast. An afternoon ceremony is followed by a reception as is a marriage which takes place in the evening. THE RECEIVING LINE When the ceremony has taken place in church and a recep- tion is held in the home or hotel, the bride's mother, as hostess, stands at the head of the receiving line and greets the guests as they arrive. The bridegroom's mother stands next, then the bridegroom, the bride, and the maid or matron of honor, and finally the bridesmaids. The order is: 1. The bride's mother 2. The bridegroom's mother 3. The bridegroom 4. The bride 5. The matron or maid of honor 6. The bridesmaids If the fathers stand in the receiving line the father of the groom stands between the bride's mother and the groom's mother. The father of the bride takes his place between the bride and the groom's mother. However, the bride's father usually mingles with the guests as he would at any party where he is host. The groom's father may stand beside his [44] THE RECEPTION OR BREAKFAST wife, but more often he is just one of the guests. The ushers also mingle with the guests. The best man is usually busy with last- minute details. When both the reception and ceremony are held in the same place, as the home or club, and there is no recessional, the bridal party turns to the guests after the ceremony to receive congratulations and best wishes. The positions of the bride's mother, the bride and groom and attendants are the same as in the receiving line just described. GUESTS AND THE RECEIVING LINE The guests pass down the receiving line, first greeting the bride's mother. They continue down the line until they come to the bride and groom, where they stop long enough to con- gratulate the bridegroom and wish the bride much happiness. It is a breach of good manners to congratulate a bride on having secured a husband. After greeting the maid of honor and bridesmaids, the guests look for friends of their own. If a table breakfast or supper is to be served, the bridal party remains in position until all the guests have been greeted and all have found their way to the dining room. Then arm in arm, the bride and groom lead the way to the bridal table, followed by others in the bridal party. The bridal table is more elaborately decorated than the others. When guests are not served at tables but remain standing, the bridal party waits until all guests have been received. The ushers then escort the bridesmaids to the dining room or wherever the guests are being served and the groom escorts his bride to a quiet spot where they, too, are served. It is not good taste to serve the bridal party at a decorated table when guests are standing with their refreshments. [45] YOUR WEDDING MUSIC FOR THE RECEPTION The music is partly screened from the guests and selections are chosen that will provide a musical background, but will not interfere with the conversation. This music is in a lighter vein, as: Berceuse from Jocelyn by Godard Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life by Victor Herbert The Swan by Saint -Saens Melody in F by Rubinstein When the wedding reception is followed by dancing, current and popular tunes are played, which may include the favor- ites of the bride and groom. THE BRIDES CAKE The bride's cake is a white iced cake. It is usually an elab- orate cake and, combined with flowers, may be made the centerpiece of the bridal table. A lovely arrangement is to place the cake in the center among low bowls of flowers, with sprays of snapdragon reaching out towards the ends of the table. When the wedding cake is removed after the bride has cut the first piece, the bowls of flowers are brought together, making a lovely centerpiece without the cake. The bride's cake is always eaten at the time of the reception. THE WEDDING CAKE OR GROOM'S CAKE The wedding or groom's cake is a dark fruit cake and is usually not iced. It is cut in advance, ready for serving. Small pieces are often placed in individual boxes, and presented to the guests. The boxes may be plain or have on them the initials of the bridal couple. The individual pieces may also be wrapped in wax paper, then in white cellophane, the four [46] THE RECEPTION OR BREAKFAST corners tied together with narrow white satin ribbon. The bride's mother often wraps a piece of the wedding cake, in wax paper and tinfoil and puts it in a sealed tin box. The box is then put away to be opened on the couple's first wedding anniversary. Small pieces of the groom's cake may be passed to the guests to be eaten at that time, or they may be placed in the small white wedding boxes and passed on a tray, each little box to be taken home by the guests as a wedding remembrance. A WEDDING BREAKFAST When the wedding ceremony takes place before one P. M. it is termed a morning wedding and is followed by a wedding breakfast. The food served is as for a luncheon and may be served either buffet style or at the table. If at table, there is usually a special table for the bridal party. The order of seating is: 1. Bride at the right of the groom. 2. Maid of honor at groom's left. 3. The best man at the right of the bride. 4. Bridesmaids and ushers seated alternately. 5. Any sisters of the bride or groom not included in the bridal party. MENUS When guests are to be served at tables, the menus could include: Hot Consomme Creamed sweetbreads and mushrooms on patty shells Avocado salad Ice cream in wedding molds Small iced cakes Demitasse [47] YOUR WEDDING MUSIC FOR THE RECEPTION The music is partly screened from the guests are chosen that will provide a musical backgr o not interfere with the conversation. This music vein, as: Berceuse from Jocelyn by Godard Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life by Victor Herb The Swan by Saint -Saens Melody in F by Rubinstein When the wedding reception is followed by da and popular tunes are played, which may inch ites of the bride and groom. THE BRIDE'S CAKE The bride's cake is a white iced cake. It is us orate cake and, combined with flowers, may centerpiece of the bridal table. A lovely arra place the cake in the center among low bowls of sprays of snapdragon reaching out towards th table. When the wedding cake is removed after cut the first piece, the bowls of flowers are broi a lovely centerpiece without the cake. cake is always eaten at the time of the reception and selections und, but will is in a lighter ert acing, current inch the favor- ually an dab- be made the ngement is to flowers, with e ends of the the bride has ught together, The bride's THE WEDDING CAKE OR GROOM CAKE The wedding or groom's cake is a dark fruit cake and is usually not iced It is cut in advance, ready for serving. Small pieces are often placed in individual boxes, and presented to the guests. The boxes may be plain or have on them the initials of the bridal couple. The individual pieces may also be wrapped in wax paper, then in white cellophane, the four [46] THE RECEPTION OR BREAKFAST corners tied together with narrow white satin ribbon. The bride's mother often wraps a piece of the wedding cake, in wax paper and tinfoil and puts it in a sealed tin box. The box is then put away to be opened on the couple's first wedding anniversary. Small pieces of the groom's cake may be passed to the guests to be eaten at that time, or they may be placed in the small white wedding boxes and passed on a tray, each little box to be taken home by the guests as a wedding remembrance. A WEDDING BREAKFAST When the wedding ceremony takes place before one P. M. it is termed a morning wedding and is followed by a wedding breakfast. The food served is as for a luncheon and may be served either buffet style or at the table. If at table, there is usually a special table for the bridal party. The order of seating is: 1. Bride at the right of the groom. 2. Maid of honor at groom's left. 3. The best man at the right of the bride. 4. Bridesmaids and ushers seated alternately. 5. Any sisters of the bride or groom not included in the bridal party. MENUS When guests are to be served at tables, the menus could include: Hot Consomme Creamed sweetbreads and mushrooms on patty shells Avocado salad Ice cream in wedding molds Small iced cakes Demitasse [47] YOUR WEDDING Refreshments served to guests while they are standing may include just ice cream, small cakes, salted nuts, wedding cake, and demitasse. Often a salad, small open -faced sandwiches or finger rolls, salted nuts, wedding cake, and demitasse are served. For a two -plate service one might have: Chicken or lobster salad Small open -faced sandwiches or buttered finger rolls Small iced cakes and wedding cake Salted nuts Demitasse REQUIREMENTS FOR 125 GUESTS 16 bricks of ice cream 12 dozen decorated small cakes 6 gallons coffee 4 quarts of cream (for coffee) 2 lbs. loaf sugar (for coffee) 4 pounds salted nuts SERVINGS One gallon salad serves 40 guests One gallon ice cream serves 30 guests One gallon coffee serves 30 guests One loaf of bread usually makes about 24 small sandwiches One pound of salted nuts serves 20 guests AFTER THE RECEPTION TI- HROWING TI - IE BRIDAL BOUQUET It is customary for the bride to throw her bouquet to her bridesmaids and girl friends. As she leaves or goes upstairs to change into her traveling clothes, she signals her brides- maids and the other young girls to gather around. She then tosses the bouquet to the eager group and, according to tradi- tion, the girl who catches it will be the next bride. [ 48 1 THE RECEPTION OR BREAKFAST GOOD -BYES Just before the couple is ready to leave, the thoughtful bride will send for her husband's parents so that she and the groom may bid them good -bye. Often the groom's father and mother are guests in a strange house and naturally, hesitate to intrude. Unless the groom has this opportunity to say good -bye to his parents, there will be no time to do so later when he and his bride make a dash for their car, amid good wishes, laughter, rice, and old shoes. CHAPTER EIGHT E LEBRATE our wedding anniversary g Y it some you and your husband may dine at some special may have a few close friends or relatives in for matter how simple the festivities, setting the da means of building a happy life together. Young couples like to celebrate a wedding an giving a special party. The first celebrations, ca the symbol of the anniversary, can be quite hilari o party for the first year means paper games or b made of paper. Refreshments may be served on with paper napkins and table covers. The cotton which marks the second year of wedded life, c a be celebrated by an informal costume -party with featuring articles of cotton. The fifth and tenth are also lighthearted affairs, symbolized with de wood and tin articles. As more years pass and the twenty -fifth ann proaches, frivolity gives way to dignity. Usually or formal dinner marks the occasion of a couple's ding anniversary. WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES • husband an wi w can ve are c fortunate make much of this day. Friends, gather to pay them honor. Gifts [ 50] N Perhaps place or you dinner. No y apart is a niversary by rried out in us. A paper ridge prizes paper plates anniversary, n very well decorations celebrations corations of iversary ap- a reception silver wed- celebrate their fiftieth anni- indeed, and most families children, and grandchildren for this anniversary are sup- 1 1 t I 1 1 WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES posed to be of gold, but since gold articles are limited, gifts wrapped in gold paper may be substituted. Anniversaries may be celebrated for any year, but after the fifteenth year, the five -year period is considered more signifi- cant. The symbols of the anniversaries usually celebrated are: SYMBOL Paper Cotton Leather Fruit or Flowers Wood Iron Wool Rubber Pottery Tin Steel Silk T ,ace Ivory Glass China Silver Pearl Coral __Ruby Sapphire Gold Emerald Platinum Diamond YEAR First Second Third Fourth Fifth Sixth Seventh Eighth Ninth _______ Tenth Eleventh Twelfth _. Thirteenth Fourteenth Fifteenth _ ___ Twentieth Twenty -fifth _ Thirtieth Thirty -fifth Fortieth Forty -fifth Fiftieth Fifty -fifth Sixtieth Seventy -fifth [51] Plastic Binding Division Minneapolis Paper Co. 400 So. 5th Street, Mpls, U. S. Patent No. 1970285