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HomeMy WebLinkAboutBattalion 1935 1 I1 1 Vi Soma/ \)~Amw, \ I 1 1 1 1 ~ I r PAUL,1VALKE October 16, 1935 9 5PEAKING INfORMALLY- A little slow in arriving, but here at last! We're And, speaking of dances, Russ Hillier and his speaking of those various and sundry banners, plat- Aggielanders will carry the rivalry on to syncopated ards, and what-have-you's that have always found rhythms when they play in conjunction with the T C conspicuous places in Aggieland just before any T C U U orchestra at the Texas Hotel on Eighth and Main. game. Sophomores remember them last year; juniors Those of us who attended the first Corps Dance and seniors recall those before that, and old timers last Saturday night are certain of the outcome of the will vouch for their annual appearance as far back as contest-for those eleven men in the orchestra com- 1924 ! bined talent and effort that evening to give promise that, for the first time in many years, a really repre- For the game that year was the last one in which sentative musical aggregation is at last in our midst. the farmers came out on the long end of the score, and Increasin the momentum since then hope has burned anew with each ensuing g given the organization by the late Pat Ballinger last year, Hillier is fast work- year that it would be done again. Nope, Frog, we're ing to the point where any one will be proud to say not ashamed of it-we know that time and time again that the Aggieland is the school orchestra. we've pitted st{rong(Jr, better and more aggressive teams against you. But (we see your point) unfortu- nately, the number of points scored in this great American game of football determines the victor, and there's no denying, in that respect, T C U has been Contained in this issue is a forecast of the first pointedly better. We are tired of it, though, and we offering of the Current College Entertainment Series. believe this is the year for recreation. There is nothing more that can be said of the excellen- ce of that first selection-Stuart Chase is a leader in So, we agree in all six senses with those banners his field-as are the men and organizations scheduled -its time right now to reverse the field. Do you, you to appear on programs at later dates. and you, Aggies, see any reason why it can't be done? The students responsible for these entertainments We'll battle them even in one sense-there will be have worked earnestly to select those attractions that eleven men from each school for sixty minutes. But in will be most applicable to this student body, and a re- the stands we'll outnumber them six to one. What view of the tentative schedule will illustrate the pleas- ing need? results of their work. We've got the team ; it's got our support. Let's It is not too late to buy a season ticket. Get one stop that so-called jinx now! now and attend these programs, every one of which presents headliners in American affairs today. And after the game, there'll be a rivalry of a dif- They were walking back to the halls after the ferent kind-one in which we believe the honors have first pre-conference game. One, with the light of enthu- been even ever since the inauguration of A and M and siasm in his eye, was vividly recounting the highlights T C U relations. They'll be ready to show us a good of the contest. The other said nothing, and his evi- time, just as we have always endeavored to do when dent indifference clearly illustrated he had none of his they trek to Aggieland. companion's zest. "Say" the latter finally interrupted, "why is it The student body writes that the men there have you get so `hepped up' over just another football game. stepped aside for Saturday night and the four hun- "You'll get up there in the stands; yell yourself hoarse Bred co-eds will be open for engagements. There are over a team, a coach, a football field, or anything else over two thousand of us-may the best men win! that happens along for a couple of hours, and then if Things to do include the barbecue to be given be- your team wins, a six inch rope can't hold you down or fore the game and the football dance Saturday night, if your team loses, the same rope can't pull you up. It both of which are to be held in the gymnasium on the really means absolutely nothing who wins or loses- campus, and dances at the Blackstone, and Texas why make such a fuss over it." Hotels and the Woman's Club. The other stopped short. "You may be right," he said in a voice touched with gravity, "but, you know, Should you desire other entertainment, a real buddy, I sorta pity you." Fort Worth native informs us that the Ringside and And the two walked in silence the remainder of Buccaneer Clubs and the Grove are among the top the distance to the halls. "spots." October 16, 1935 11 Stop Right Now! INDEX OF ADVERTISERS Wait a minute! Why read this bit of nonsense? A and M Club of Fort Worth----------------- 4 On the following pages are lots more interesting Aggie Cleaners________________________________________________________________ 2 stories and other bits of reading that are far more Aggieland Barber Shop 6 intellectual. Remember now, you are more than wel- Aggieland Grocery 2 come to quit right now and go to the next disserta- Aggieland Service Station 26 tion. Why do you keep on reading? Are you expecting Aggieland Studio_____________________________ something of unusual literary accomplishment, or- American Steam Laundry 24 more to the mind of our generation-something risque? Assembly Hall________________________________________________________________ 27 I promise now, with all the sincerity of an amateur Blackstone Hotel 26 journalist, that you are doomed to bitter disappoint- Bryan Merchants____________________________________________________________ 5 ment. Bullock & Akin-------------------------------------------------------------- 4 But the question comes to the mind of every writ- Camel Cigarettes ................................Inside Front Cover er, be he professional or ham, why are articles read? Campus Barber Shop____________________________________________________ 3 Are you afraid that you'll miss something? If so, stop Campus Cleaners____________________________________________________________ 28 right now and turn the page. Is it that your thorough- Campus Grocery____________________________________________________________ 28 ness won't allow you to miss any part of this maga- Casey's Confectionery---------------------------------------------------- 3 zine? If so, subordinate that phase of your make-up Chesterfield Cigarettes Back Cover and quit reading. You're wasting your time. College Inn______________________________________________________________________ 24 Up to this point you have read nothing of im- College Merchants__________________________________________________________ 7 portance either to you or anyone else. Why-oh, why- College Shoe Repair________________________________________________________ 4 don't you stop? If you had a bit of will power this Country Club__________________________________________________________________ 24 sentence would never reach your eye. I hope you have realized by now that this article Dr. Benbow______________________________________________________________________ 26 Dr. Buchanan__________________________________________________________________ 26 means -and is written for-absolutely nothing. This one thing has me stumped: Dr. Jones------------------------ 6 Why did you finish it? Dr. Lawrence__________________________________________________________________ 27 Dr. Payne------------------------------------------------------------------------ 6 She was a miner's daughter but she was never E-Tex Sandwich Shop____________________________________________________ 27 boring. Exchange Store Inside Back Cover Holick & Sons---------- 28 "Y'love this frail?" Hrdlicka's Place______________________________________________________________ 2 "Yep, yer honor." Interstate Circuit Inc___________________________________________________ 6 "This your bimbo, girlie?" LaSalle Barber Shop "You said a mouthful, judge." Lauterstein's 3 "S'nuff. He's your'n. Your're hisn's. Ten bucks. Lilly Ice Cream______________________________________________________________ 2 Take the air on the right. Next ! Metropolitan Hotel-------------------------------------------------------- 6 Missouri Pacific Lines__________________________________________________ 25 She was only the butler's daughter, but how she Montgomery Ward---------------------------------------------------------- 3 enjoyed being maid. News Stand---------------------------------------------------------------------- 26 Old Gold---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 13 ing." "There's something very tender about you, darl- Palace Theater---------------------------------------------------------------- 26 "Why shouldn't there be? You've been dancing on Price Albert____________________________________________________________________ 23 'em all night." Sir Walter Raleigh________________________________________________________ 27 -College Life Sol Frank------------------------------------------------------------------------ 4 Sosolik Studio---------------------------------------------------------------- 26 The Jones family went for a day's outing to the Student Co-op 25 cave of echoes. When they reached home Jones notic- Texas Hotel______________________________________________________________________ 4 ed that his wife was not there. Uniform Tailor Shop____________________________________________________ 24 "Do you know where your mother is?" he asked Variety Store__________________________________________________________________ 28 his daughter. "Oh, I Waldrop & Co----------------------------------------------------------------- 6 suppose she's still at the cave trying to have the last word." Wimpy Sandwich Shop________________________________________________ 25 -Zip 'N Tang Zubik Cleaners 6 Entered as second-class matter at the Post Office of College Station, Texas, undor the Act of Congress, March 3, 1879. 2 THE BATTALION ARMY We'll Be Pulling for You At FORT WORTH And We Have Just the Kinds of B - - DRINKS TO TOBACCOS CANDIES YOU WANT THE AGGIELAND GROCERY Opposite Exchange Store Yelling for Wife: "What makes my life so miserable?" LILLY Guy: "You've got me." Wife : "That's right." ICE CREAM -College Life She was only a lumberman's daughter, but she had "Your girl says she can't meet you today." been through the mill. "Well, that's a wait off my mind." "Marry me, Richard! I'm only a garbage man's -College Life daughter, but-" And you've all heard about the gold digger who "That's all right, baby. You ain't to be sniffed at." went out to sow some wild oats and came home with a hayseed. GIG THOSE -Laughter HORNED FROGS The boss hired a new stenographer named Vir- ginia. He called her Virgin for short but not for long. A IE GG S THE T. C. U. FROGS ARE OURS We Will See You at The Game See Our Agents for 1/2 Day Service HRDLICKA S PLACE CLEANING - PRESSING All Kinds and ALTERING SANDWICHES & DRINKS AGGIE CLEANERS also All Work Guaranteed" GAS & OIL North Gate South of Campus on old Navasota Highway i October 16, 1935 3 Get Ready for the- IT CLICKS! CORPS TRIP -and Fort Worth r To look your best you must have a Hair- cut, and we have Eight Barbers who are Ex- and pert in this line. Up CAMPUS BARBER SHOP does me BALLERSTEDT and BULLARD, Props. Old (Under the "Y") Er If in Bryan try the Metropolitan Barber Shop DRINKS - SMOKES & "Some girls are like radios," prattles little Susie, EATS "when there isn't much on, they become mushy." CASEY'S CONFECTIONERY 66V9 "Another man who doesn't get around much," chants Little Susie, "is the fellow with a ninety-pound girl friend." Artist: This is my latest picture, "Builders At Work." It's very realistic. "My dog's like one of the family." Friend: But they aren't at work. "Which one?" Artist: I know. That's realism. -College Life -Log She: "Spent the vacation up in the mountains." He: "Really. Did you have a guide?" AGGIES-MANY THANKS She: "Well, only my conscience." -Wampus Our business has been exceptionally good -for which we are due you our sincerest WARDS ARE WORLD'S GREATEST RADIO RETAILERS 1936 World Range Low Price! thanks. 7 Tubes We want you to know that we hold your $29.95 interests first -ours secondary. k : $3.00 Down 2<) kY $5.00 Per Month We will bend backwards trying to please N 02 Band r oreign and U. S. Metal tubes! you. Come in and see us at any time. You are a 0 Broadcast and Short- Wave Est I Y Instant Dialing always welcome. i • Personal Tone Con- • Licensed R C A & _ trot LAUTERSTEIN1S Hazeltine I , MILITARY UNIFORMS ITI Cleaning - Pressing - Alterations North Gate College Station 2417 - 19 Bryan St. Phone 269 .4 THE BATTALION Dear, how long should WELCOME TO AGGIE my skirt be? Let your chassis be HEADQUARTERS your guide. At Noon Coffee Shoppe -Wampus I _ At Night TOP 0' TEXAS to DINE And DANCE I gazed into her eyes- EXPERT (deep blue) WORKMANSHIP HOTEL TEXAS And touched her tiny hand GUARANTEED FORT WORTH TEXAS (thrills flew) Her sparkling silver dress- With prices in line. (so thin) My steaming senses swam College Station AGGIES! (bad gin) Shoe Repair I whispered something low Get Ready For The Corps Trip (so sweet) North Gate Collapsed enamoured _ - - We are well equipped to serve you with all (at her feet) the necessary- On crimson lips a sneer Uniform Alterations (like ice) ON TO COW- She raised her Lacey mask My wife! TOWN SOL FRANK CO. -Lampoon AGGIES NATHAN LIPNER, Mgr. When Eve passed round the "BRAND" THE OLD Located North Gate luscious fruit, TOWN WITH A Then clothing came in SMART - style; APPEARANCE We'll have to pass the fruit again See OFFICIAL Methinks, in a short while. -Wataugan BULLOCK - AKIN i A. & M. - T, C. U. DANCE FOR YOUR NEEDS Wife: "No, I did not sew AND SAVE ON- a button on your trousers; Clothing $16.95 up to Top of Hotel Texas I was too tired. Which is the more important, any- $28.50 way-your wife; or your Top Coats $17.50 up AGGIELAND ORCHESTRA trousers?" Trench Coats $2.95 up Husband: "Well, there are places I can go without Leather Jackets $2.95 VS. a wife." up -Typing T. C. U. DICTATORS Tips Gloves - .$1.00 up Shirts $1.50 up Interwoven Sox 55¢ in a The huntsman who was and 50¢ too lazy to make love to Hats $2.95, $3.50 another huntsman's wife Freeman Shoes $3.95 BATTLE OF MUSIC and $5.00 may have been a slouch, but he had the right idea. Sweaters $1.50 up $1.00 Including Tax 9 - till After all, it's better to FIGHT'EM AGGIES! have lead in your pants Sponsored by Fort Worth A. & M. Club than bullets in your stom- LET'S MAKE THIS ach . OUR YEAR l -Tatler October 16, 1935 5 rrners Fig ji -7, NeW, S w 11,4 u 'Ile 11 1W f62: aYy stk t' g^ ~ ~ v y ON TO FORT WORTH TO STOP THOSE HORNED FROGS The Merchants of Bryan are behind the team and the whole Cadet Corps Let's all meet in Fort Worth AMERICAN LAUNDRY AND DRY CLEANERS BULLOCK & AKIN CALDWELL'S JEWELRY STORE SANKEY PARK - JEWELER PALACE THEATRE BECKWITH CLEANERS K. WOLENS SAM KAPLAN ROSS TAILORS HASWELL'S BOOK STORE MODEL CLEANERS J. C. PENNEY (The space above was paid for by the merchants listed) F 6 THE BATTALION Advertisement: "You get WELCOME AGGIES Eyes Examined the girl, we'll do the rest." Glasses Fatted Groom: "That's hardly DR. J. W. PAYNE METROPOLITAN HOTEL fair." Optometrist -Dirge Masonic Bldg. Bryan, Tex. FORT WORTH Next to Palace Theatre r Rates $1.00 With Bath $1.50 200 Rooms Extracts From A Frosh - Entrance Examination Dr. Lamar Jones Special Rates to Groups or Delegates Paper D E N T I S T R.. L. WATSON, Mgr. Second Floor 8th, 9th, Main & Commerce George Washington mar- Nat'l. Bank Building ried Mary Curtiss and in Bryan due time became the father - - of his country. You Want To A blizzard is the inside Your Uniform of a hen. Properly Cleaned LOOK YOUR BEST Pompeii was destroyed by an eruption of saliva for the IN FT. WORTH from the Vatican. CORPS TRIP This is possible if you will come see us One can prevent typhoid before Saturday. fever by fascination. ZUBIK S For your convenience we will remain -Owl DRY CLEANERS OPEN WED., THURS., and FRI. NIGHTS LATE Sign in Scotch Cafe: North Gate Use less sugar and stir like AGGIELAND BARBER SHOP hell; we don't mind the - - noise. LEATHER R. W. IVY, Prop. -Rammer-Jammer Location North Gate JACKETS INTIMATE GLIMPSES OF AMERICAN CAPTAINS Genuine Leather Jack- WELCOME TO FT. WORTH OF INDUSTRY ets well tailored and , (NO. 1) styled in the smartest A G G I E S Editor of Ballyhoo sport models. Five p Our 4 fine theatres have pro- . m. Pushes sten- ographer from lap, puts on S P E C I A L vided wonderf ul shows for your en- hat and coat and leaves of- tertainment. fice . . . stops for a few Dark brown sport back WORTH THEATRE minutes to chat with men leather Jacket of Pig- in manhole .peeps in grain finish - Zipper open- "Fighting Youth" ing - all sizes- window of dwelling at wo- A Great Football Story!!! man taking bath makes $5.95 FRIDAY, OCT. 18th mental note of streetclean- "BROADWAY MELODY OF 1936"-Jack Benny er pushing brush in street Other all leather Jack- Saturday - Sunday, Oct. 91-20 arrives home chases ets of Suede, plain Cape HOLLYWOOD ice man out of kitchen skin or Pig-grain finish - Plain or fancy sport backs "Dark Angel" sits in chair and reads cig- - button or Zipper open- ing- Fred March - Merle Oberon aret ads in evening paper Which will probably be the year's best picture. turns on balanced radio and listens to jumble of an- $5.95 - $6.95 to $10.95 PALACE nouncements, static, and "Case of the Lucky Legs" advertising ...plays bridge WALDROP & CO. A Positive Scream with wife, butler, and Ful- ler Brush man . . . shoots MAJESTIC wife after argument over Two convenient stores- "The Irish In Us" bridge hand retires in Pat O'Brien - James Cagney-enough said!! twin bed, Bryan and College -Green Goat October 16, 1935 7 T IS IS Ot R YEAR OLD ARMY 1-7 b° °o o D o o\ 4 ° ° ` ° ° C~D o o b e ~~°°cU fro p0 eJ Qo DD p 4\/~ c~4~ ~c r; pcr''`;poCo ppdae p~ o o Xlc~~ ° 0 0 ~D D J//' _ o p D.° Q oo p o ° V --7y I i LETS GIG TfIOSE FROGS AGGIES The COLLEGE MERCHANTS are behind you 100% whether at home or away. We know you'll come home with the old T. C. U. "Pig Skin" right in your pocket and so we say GIVE THEM THE WORKS AGGIES! AGGIE CLEANERS AGGIELAND BARBER AGGIELAND GROCERY AGGIELAND PHARMACY. C,C i CHARLIE'S FOOD MARKET AGGIELAND STUDIO EXCHANGE STORE CAMPUS BARBER UNIFORM TAILOR SHOP CAMPUS CLEANERS CAMPUS GROCERY CASEY'S CONFECTIONERY (The Space above paid for by the merchants listed) 8 THE BATTALION _ 6TUDDiT PUDLICATION Or IM,k-4-M COtIEGf Of T[XAS COLLL6L 6TATIOH TLXAA v~LUME.35 NUMI3E1~ 5 THE STAFF J. M. Shepherd....-... _ .-.,Editor H. F. Souder__.-----__ ..................................................Advertising Manager Tom M. Brown ...._-__...._.--......------...-Managing Editor R. S. Evans.................. .-Circulation Manager W. E. Tardy ............................_.......................................--.---.Associate Editor A. S. Queen Sports Editor Paul Walker. _ Art .Editor C. K. Hoffineister_................ Associate Editor H. G. Huffhines Junior Editor G. L. Dearmond Junior Editor ASSISTANT ADVERTISING MANAGERS ASSISTANT CIRCULATION MANAGERS W. R. Richmond F. W. Terrell J. P. Love P. H. Coleman H. E. Nicholson J. H. McNamara MAKE THIS CORPS 'TRIP "Bat-tal-i-ons, `ten-shut! Blankety-blank days until corps trip." That has been the proc- lamation with which lusty-throated freshmen have greeted the dawn for weeks past. And light sleepers have heard from day to day the "blankety-blank" dwindle to a mere "blank" as the Saturday has approached. For "corps trip"-the one time when seniors, juniors, sophomores and freshmen merge into a homogeneous mass, ready to carry equal shares of Aggieland and what it represents into foreign fields-is upon us once again. Uniform in dress, purpose and desire, we go to do battle with the "Frog" in his own back yard. And quite a back yard it is-as any junior or senior will attest. Fort Worth was chosen as the corps trip destination two years ago, and stories are still making the rounds verifying that hospitality found there is not to be bettered. It is altogether fitting that this city should be selected again this year, for added to the incentive of another taste of this justly famed hospit- ality is another that ranks foremost. The wholecorps has got to be present when the string of T C U victories, unbroken since 1924, is finally snapped! So, seniors and juniors, make this corps trip-and take up where you left off two years ago. Sophs and fish, make this corps trip- and learn just what is in store for you. And, Aggies make this corps trip-and be there when the jinx is broken! October 16, 1935 9 5PEAKING INFORMALLY- - A little slow in arriving, but here at last! We're And, speaking of dances, Russ Hillier and his speaking of those various and sundry banners, plac- Aggielanders will carry the rivalry on to syncopated ards, and what-have-you's that have always found rhythms when they play in conjunction with the T C conspicuous places in Aggieland just before any T C U U orchestra at the Texas Hotel on Eighth and Main. game. Sophomores remember them last year; juniors Those of us who attended the first Corps Dance and seniors recall those before that, and old timers last Saturday night are certain of the outcome of the will vouch for their annual appearance as far back as contest-for those eleven men in the orchestra com- 1924 ! bined talent and effort that evening to give promise For the game that year was the last one in which that, for the first time in many years, a really repre- the farmers came out on the long end of the score, and sentative musical aggregation is at last in our midst. since then hope has burned anew with each ensuing Increasing the momentum given the organization year that it would be done again. Nope, Frog, we're by the late Pat Ballinger last year, Hillier is fast work- not ashamed of it-we know that time and time again ing to the point where any one will be proud to say we've pitted st~rongejr, better and more ag&es:iive that the Aggieland is the school orchestra. Power to you, men! teams against you. But (we see your point) unfortu- nately, the number of points scored in this great American game of football determines the victor, and there's no denying, in that respect, T C U has been Contained in this issue is a forecast of the first p-intedly better. We are tired of it, though, and we offering of the Current College Entertainment Series. believe this is the year for recreation. There is nothing more that can be said of the excellen- ce of that first selection-Stuart Chase is a leader in So, we agree in all six senses with those banners -its time right his field-as are the men and organizations scheduled now to reverse the field. Do you, you and you, Aggies, see any reason why it can't be done? to appear on programs at later dates. The students responsible for these entertainments We'll battle them even in one sense-there will be have worked earnestly to select those attractions that eleven men from each school for sixty minutes. But in will be most applicable to this student body, and a re- the stands we'll outnumber them six to one. What view of the tentative schedule will illustrate the pleas- more advantage do we need? ing results of their work. We've got the team; it's got our support. Let's It is not too late to buy a season ticket. Get one stop that so-called jinx now! now and attend these programs, every one of which presents headliners in American affairs today. And after the game, there'll be a rivalry of a dif- They were walking back to the halls after the ferent kind-one in which we believe the honors have first pre-conference game. One, with the light of enthu- been even ever since the inauguration of A and M and siasm in his eye, was vividly recounting the highlights T C U relations. They'll be ready to show us a good of the contest. The other said nothing, and his evi- time, just as we have always endeavored to do when dent indifference clearly illustrated he had none of his they trek to Aggieland. companion's zest. "Say" the latter finally interrupted, "why is it The student body writes that the men there have you get so `hepped up' over just another football game. stepped aside for Saturday night and the four hun- "You'll get up there in the stands; yell yourself hoarse Bred co-eds will be open for engagements. There are over a team, a coach, a football field, or anything else over two thousand of us-may the best men win! that happens along for a couple of hours, and then if Things to do include the barbecue to be given be- your team wins, a six inch rope can't hold you down or fore the game and the football dance Saturday night, if your team loses, the same rope can't pull you up. It both of which are to be held in the gymnasium on the really means absolutely nothing who wins or loses- campus, and dances at the Blackstone, and Texas why make such a fuss over it." Hotels and the Woman's Club. The other stopped short. "You may be right," he said in a voice touched with gravity, "but, you know, Should you desire other entertainment, a real buddy, I sorta pity you." Fort Worth native informs us that the Ringside and And the two walked in silence the remainder of Buccaneer Clubs and the Grove are among the top the distance to the halls. "spots." 10 THE BATTALION 8tuavt Chase - Lyceum Guest by C. L. Morgan, The A and M entertainment series will take the Chase is a graduate of Harvard though he began limelight with a really significant and important first his study of mathematics and engineering at Massa- offering when Stuart Chase, internationally known chusetts Institute of Technology. At Harvard he spec- , author and lecturer, opens the 1935-36 season with a ialized in economics and statistics. Since 1917, in which lecture in Guion hall on Thursday, October 31. year he was sent to Chicago as a member of the Fed- Though he is most widely known through his very erai Trade Commission in charge of the investigation popular books-among others "The Tragedy of Waste," of Armour and company, he has been variously con- "Men and Machines," "The Nemesis of American nected with work on national questions. He was with Business," "Mexico," "The Economy of Abundance"- the food administration board during the war and since Chase is almost equally popular as a lecturer, speak- 1921 has been in charge of the accounting and auditing ing on such subjects as "The Consumer's Tomorrow," departments of the Labor Bureau, Inc. In spite of his "The Economy-of Abundance," and "Is There Enough tremendous popularity as author and lecturer and his to Go Around." For years he has been a leading figure work with the Labor Bureau, Chase still continues in the national scene, where problems of social science, his private accounting business. His writing bears economics, and industrial engineering have demanded somewhat the nature of an avocation. "Fun to me," he the services of an astute, well-trained mind, equipped has said, "is economic research and writing about it." with vision as well as scientific acumen, and with a Chase is deeply interested in the mal-adjustments thorough understanding of social justice as well as that are present in our civilization and in the possible an aptitude for theories of a highly intellectual nature. remedies for them. He is one of the mainstays of liber- Since he is actively interested in the problem of al thought in America, and more, perhaps, than any waste from the engineering point of view, Chase should other single writer he has brought home the impor- have a great deal to say that will be of special interest tance of a knowledge of economic and social forces to to the engineers and engineering students on the the average man. The fact that his books have been campus. He is a member of the Technical Alliance in consistently on best-sellers lists throughout the coun- New York, an organization of progressive engineers try testifies to the universality of their appeal and to working on a program of industrial coordination. their value for both layman and scientist. A phase of Chase's work which has been of parti- cular value to the American public is his connection with the Consumer's Research Bureau of which or- ganization he was co-founder. This bureau is main- tained for the protection of the American consumer against the false and extravagant claims of the manu- facturers of certain widely-advertised products. As a result of this work he collaborated with F. J. Schlink to write "Your Money's Worth," one of the earliest and most effective of the exposes of the "tricks be- hind the trade marks." The New York Evening Post reviewer said that "one day's purchases made accord- ing to this book will save enough money to pay for it, d and you will have a good time for your money." Because of his interest and work in engineering, economics, statistics and accounting, he is peculiarly fitted to make an absorbing and worthwhile address to the A and M audience. He is a fitting successor to such speakers on the series last year as David Cush- man Coyle and Clarence Darrow, and his inclusion in this year's program along with such widely varied names as Admiral Richard E. Byrd, the Houston Little Theatre, the Manhattan String Quartet, and the Kryl - - - Symphony Band makes for a balanced and well-rounded Stuart Chase year's entertainment. October 16, 1935 11 CORPS TRIM - -it k.PPens every year accorJilq to TOM M. BROWN At length she spoke. "Having a good time?" Steal- ing a sidewise glance. "You know it!" he bluffed valiently. But it didn't work. She looked at him strangely, for a moment un- decided which trend to take-the jovial, superfluous banter or a more intimate sincerity. She decided upon the latter; he was such a nice-looking boy-sensitive- maybe one would like to become better acquainted with him. "You aren't, though. You look the most miserable person I've ever seen." f Doff squirmed in torment until a rebellious flame asserted itself. "And that's why the pick-up? Thanks for the charity, but I'd better be getting along." He ` - } opened the door and set one foot on the running board, as if to step from the slowly moving car. She AMP sped up to forty, and drove silently. He clicked the door shut and sulked unwillingly. Somehow he wanted to be free and laughing with her, but couldn't quiet break the ice. But she saved him the trouble by ingeniously erasing the last few words and distracting his mind so completely from himself that a few minutes later he awoke with the shocking realization that she had seen his underlying wish and was graciously smooth enough to accomplish it without even his cognizance of it. She, sensing his sudden dismay, extended even more of her charm and soon he was again comfortably She lost in her personality through the medium of small chat and simple confidence exchanges. She was a beautiful girl, and she drove a beautiful She, meanwhile having definitely put the embar- car. The combination skidded to a halt beside young assing angle of the situation in the remotest recess of Doff and took most of his breath away. their consciousness, was glorying in the bath of ap- Young Doff had filled his nitch in the corps pa- preciative interest he showered upon her. He unleash- ed a bit of imaginative wit, which she congratulated, rade that year, had dutifully shouted his lungs loose at the football game, and was now wending a rather and soon that sense of luxurious enjoyment prevalent lonely way whither he knew not. Trench coat on arm, with harmonious personalities pervaded. They were al- cap cocked back, hands in pockets, he slouched up the ready used to each other. street dejectedly, alone. Other cadets had arranged He went home with her and met her family. By for dates or were in the first stages of celebrative ine- that time the evening had a good start on them. They briation. Not so with Doff. He couldn't make the grade, raided the ice box, picking around with the ecstacy not with a return train ticket, forty-five cents, and a which that intimate procedure affords, and then couple of hundred miles to go. It was a lonesome feel- started for the dance. Because her father was some- ing• body or other, they were honored at the door, and Doff's forty-five cents jangled with relief in his slacks An then the beauty with the raven-black hair, pocket. She asked to leave ea.ly, saying she much inviting dark eyes, red full lips smiling warmly, had eferred his company to running the stag pr gauntlet, reined her army of horsepower in and opened the door and he sensed a something he immediately branded for him. Feeling a bit off guard and uncomfortable, as love. Foolishly, he thought. he piled in awkwardly. For the first moment or two neither spoke. Clearly the girl had acted impetuously Parked by a little garden somewhere, they talked in gathering him up, and Doff, sensing this, shifted long and sincerely. In a lull in the conversation, she uneasily. (Continued on Page 21) 12 THE BATTALIO] 5TRANGIR FOR BREAKFAST Written and Illustrated By Jokn NicUs It had rained for hours and the slow incessant he cursed himself for continuing along a road that drizzle had penetrated deep into the tortuous roadway knew was not leading him back to the highway. that twisted uncertainly up through the lonliest of the He saw the light flicker through the distant tre( Tennessee Mountains. Behind a veil of concealing clouds The thought of a warm bed, dry and comfortab the sun was sinking unnoticed, but for the slowly flashed through his mind. He left his car and stum] waning light. The hills were wet and still. ing and slipping he picked his way through the tre The sound of an auto struggling through the mire until he came within sight of the cabin. of the road was just audible. The motor was missing As he approached it he saw two figures opposi fire. It emitted sudden, sharp explosions, then raced the lighted window. In the dim light they were i at high speed as it strove to plunge through the grip- distinct. He paused, shivered and gingerly knocked ping mud. the door. A lean, bony man opened it. He asked The explosions became more violent, echoing questions of the stranger but cordially invited him through the timber. A light flickered, then burned enter. The invitation seemed almost too friendly. I more brightly as a mountaineer lighted the lamp in awkward introduction brought him face to face wi his cabin. He heard the noise of the motor, then all the woman of the cabin. She looked hungry. They bo was still again. The auto had settled securely into the did. mud. She offered the stranger a cup of tea which s Leaning backward in his seat, the driver relaxed poured from a pot on the back of the stove. As he s for a moment, then opened the door and peered through drinking they stared at him. He was uncomfortab "Ah reckin yore ready fer some sleep," she su gested. "He'll show ye yer bunk." With that the host clasped the kerosene lamp his huge hand and led his guest into the adjoinii room. He set it down and lighted a smoky lante that hung from the ceiling. He left the room. The stranger looked about. His bunk was bui against the wall of the narrow room. At its head crude ladder led up to the loft. There was little else the room. He undressed slowly and climbed between t] quilts. K For nearly an hour he lay still. He was tired b sleep evaded him. When he tried to fall asleep ] found himself recalling the incidents of the day. I wondered if his auto would run in the morning. Wou it ever stop raining? The slow patter of the rain-dro on the hand-split shingles of the roof should ha, lulled him to sleep but it only annoyed him. From his position in the bed he could see into t] other room. The two had been seated at the table sin he first lay down. They were unusually quiet. troubled him. He could see their shadows on the f. wall of the other room. 1 ~ I \ He wondered why they stared at him when / was in the room with them. "It must be because th, JE N see strangers so seldom," he reasoned, but failed convince himself. A story came to his mind, he mu "I want to git this done," he muttered. have read it in the papers. It was about a Russi; emmigrant who returned home after an absence the darkness. He was tired and hopelessly lost. He cursed the inadequacy of the highway- markers and (Continued on Page 21) Marooned with a Mental Mummy lit am Oll go 1l i x I ,t '14 J rr /Al ='j ' . `oN R CIGARETTES ~ THE TREASURE Of THEM ALL :7 , a P. Lorillard Co., Inc. WHEN a tropical typhoon traps you on a desert isle with a muddle- minded cavalier, don't waste away waiting for the rescue. Relax! Light a sunny-smooth Old Gold. Its mellow fragrance will soothe your nerves and turn your predicament into a paradise. ONLY FINE OLD TOBACCO can give that natural aroma and fragrance of Old Gold cigarettes AT TRYING TIMES TRY A OLD GOLD 14 THE BATTALION NJT,.L4FCUAUlY t c-_ 4§7 October 16, 1935 15 CULLLGIASA t4s Q Z ell- .mss jf~ 1 ~ QuIL. ALKER.- 16 THE BATTALION IT'S TIME TO TURN says Alton S. Queen Balhlion SPoils Editor After an old custom that has proved more dis- Lines" you have read about in the past. Bill James astrious than fruitful in the past, the Khaki Clad Ag- has assembled a line at Aggieland that is not excelled gies from Texas A. and M will trek northward Friday by any in this Conference. The former Longhorn line and Saturday with the battle field of the Fighting coach has speed, weight and power. He has a bunch Farmers and the TCU Horned Frogs as their goal. of huskies in that line that have that "FIGHTING Yes, the Aggies and Frogs are continuing their AGGIE SPIRIT." annual gridiron feud. The Frogs are touted as one of Selmer Kirby, junior tackle who was hurt in the the highly respected title contenders and the Aggies Temple game, will be in shape to go. Martin Lindsey are conceded a mere also ran. But neither Homer Nor- is in tip-top shape for the battle. With these two ton and his coaching staff, the Maroin and White foot- tackles in good condition the line is well bolstered. ball team nor the Cadet Corps will sanction any such Then Roy Young, 204 pound sophomore from Port statement and will be in Fort Worth 3,000 strong to Arthur, proved a capable substitute at the tackle defend their be_ief 'hat they have a better football post by his brilliant defensive game against the Gen- team than the Frogs. tlemen last Saturday. Roy can fit in at the end posts The Aggies concede the Frogs all their greatness, as well. In fact, Young is one of the most dependable featuring All-American Darrell Lester at the center pass receivers on the team. Warren Church and Ed post, together with a well balanced team of such stars Elmendorf can fill in at either tackle. as Sam Baugh to toss the pigskin through the Cow- Stach and DeWare are putting up a terrific fight town dew, Jimmy Lawrence to skirt the ends, and Tol- for the center position. Both are good on offense and don Manton to take a try at the Aggie line, but the defense and will see service. Joe Wessendorf bids fair Aggies of 1935 are a different team. to block anyth:ng that the two regulars leave undone. They went to Shreveport last Saturday and held The end berths are strongly fortified by Taylor the powerful Centenary Gentlemen to a 6 to 7 victory, Wilkins, senior, and Johnny Morrow, sophomore. This an accomplishment that has not been made by any xa:r of wingmen have held 'their own with all compe- Souffhwcst conference team in two years. They bucked tition to date and are due to show the Frog ends and a stronger line at Shreveport than the Frogs can show, team in general many new tricks. Top reserve strength and the Aggie offense was good enough to push over at the ends can be found in Orville Puryear, Roy a touchdown. 'I he Aggies completed 8 of the 14 passes Young, and Jimmy Wilson. they threw, which indicates that the Cadets will In the past the Christians have made believers have far more than line plunges and end runs to puzzle out of the Aggies and Baptized them in the Blood. the Frogs. Tco, the Fighting Aggies will present the Whether in their own back yard or at Aggieland the best balanced backfield the Frogs have met in a num- Christians have kept the Faith and have continued the ber of years. Bob Nesrsta will be in tip-top shape and Good Work. the F.atonia Flash is capable of shaking off many But the Aggies have been thoroughly Nortonized rugged tacklers before he calls it "quiffs." Bob can also the last two years and the "Big Bad Wolf," as he was block, pass, and punt. "Doc" Pitner, however, has been known of to Southwest conference coaches while at steadily improving in hi3 punting since the season Centenary, has led the Aggies astray. The Aggies cpened. Doc is just recovering from a knee injury he who have been dipped in the Blood of the Lamb since received in a car wreck this summor. Pitner booted '24, are no longer a converted congregation. The Evil one out of bounds on the Centenary one-foot line Sat- Spirit that has crept in through Norton has opened urday. "I'm going to take my ruler and set up my ffhe eyes of the Farmers. Thev have passed the Ren- stakes on 'the inch line" Doc told "Siki" Sikes, freshman aissance period and are now well established in the coach Monday morning. "This one foot stuff is get- Reformation zone. The Big Bad Wolf has set their tin' too simple." With the speed of Ed Wicker, shifti- ideals on Championship Goals. Their sins will no longer ness of Manning and Vitek, linked to the power and be offered up through a defeat at the Altar in Cow- drive of Percy Reid, the Aggie favorites have ample town. The backsliding Aggies can no longer fall into reasons to think their team will accomplish a feat the arms of the pleading Christians, for they are sold they have not realized since 1924, a victory over the on the new ideas which Norton has preached for two horned Toads. years and the Christians are compelled to allow the Too, that famous Aggie line will be "tops" Satur- Fightinaggies to go their way for without Faith their day. And it is equal if not super:or to famous "Aggie Work is dead. I4c1(dwr 16, 1935 17 ~-a They'll Surround .'r wi. Him Saturday } `P Too! ~Y s { J S-rAC ry ` ~ f W/ L K / NS `tit 's , X-A g k > i { Wi < Y ~ ~ f 3 f Dom- lil/~R~ J., h { H u adv. wx. e s P IX hh r DARRFLL" S (Z h HONNIFROGS X ~d P s f ~h~ ~h ig3s ~P ^Y. <w..~ ! { f$ ..f. r...., tcl:vr• 1 i I ,J yoUIYC7- K~Ro y 18 THE BATTALION r lRA lA L A L.A %-A y OH TH E 5 -R I N *uNG M 1 A K ON THE I/ /0 - 0 0 uH---ER-_ - SBISA HALL . 1 6 O a AAT \ 6•Arm~s{ead When a feller needs a friend. Why Didn't He Say So? The Perfect Corps Trip It had been a hectic season for the small, "fly-by- 1. Leave Wednesday after talking dean into excused night" circus. Bad weather here, poor transporta- absences. tion there and disappointing crowds everywhere had 2• Be discovered trying to "blind" train by kindly cut deeply in the meagre financial reserve. Finally the old lady who buys ticket. climax came when an elephant was struck down, fatally injured, by a street car as the morning parade prome- 3. Kindly old lady detrains at Hearne; five ex's of naded through the streets of Podunk. "the old school" take her place. Frantically the road manager wired the home 4. Win ten dollars from ex's in friendly little game office: "ELEPHANT KILLED IN ACCIDENT STOP who in reward for your proficiency in gaming "set SEVENTY-FIVE GRAND TO KEEP SHOW ON 'em up" with drinks, eats, and smokes. ROAD." 5. Immediately upon arrival, recognize important city It seems that seventy-five thousand was some official from photograph in "True Detective" line- sum to replace just one eleaphant, and there was a up and innocently remind him of it. decided note of doubtfulness in the reply: "DID YOU 6. City official will solve hotel SAY `ELEPHANT" OR ELEPHANTS?" y problem with three room suite and transportation question with loan But there was no doubt implied in the second of Dusenberg. wire sent to the home base: "I SAID `ELEPHANT' BUT `ELEPHANTS' WOULD HAVE DONE JUST 7. Meet Miss Ima Cynch, ye olden fryend, thereby AS WELL STOP ELEPHANT KILLED WAS LAST saving time usually lost by preliminaries. ONE IN PARADE AND TAILS WERE JERKED OUT 8. Convince gate-keeper he is a third-cousin and use OF SEVENTEEN OTHERS." 1906 press card for seat in press box. A deplorable misfortune. 9. A and M wins game, and you are saved of further "arranging"-the town is yours. 10. Return to school mentally fit, physically strong "Let's go sit on the and morally straight-enough to satisfy your own porch." conscience. "No, I'm afraid if we do you'll-" "No, honestly I won't." 11. Then write a book on your experiences and you "Well, what's the use then?" will become financially independent from prizes -Kammer-Jammer won in "Best Liar" contests. October 16, 1935 19 Short Short Story r Sail Gale Pale Rail. ,r Then there's the little girl who stole her mother's f~ corse tand then didn't have the guts to wear it. "I think she must be spoiled." "No, it's only the perfume she uses." FoR -Zipp 'N Tang 4 d N0 Once a girl has an edge on, there's never a dull moment. Benny sent me! "A burglar broke into our house last nite." "What did he get?" The Dirty Cad "Practice." He was a very meticulous fellow. Everything had to be just so. Especially was he careful about his dress, this Park Avenue Man-About-Town. So when his wife began playing around with another man, he did the Speed cop, arresting a preacher for speeding: proper thing-he put a private sleuth on her trail. "Have it your own way, Reverend; you were going The legal beagle shadowed the wife and her lover like heaven, then." and saw plenty. He submitted a full report to the hus- band in which he told of following the woman and her lover to the latter's apartment. He described the The upperclassman addressed the rather elderly scenes there. He described both woman and man mi- looking Freshman. nutely, so his employer would know he had followed "Well," he remarked in a conversational manner, the right pair. The lover, the detective reported, had "how does it feel to be a Freshman at A & MT' worn that particular night, a gray fedora, a blue suit "To tell the truth," the other replied, "it's not bad, and yellow shoes. but I found more spirit my first years at Notre Dame The sticker-for-the-right-thing read the racy re- and Duke." port, through the boudoir finale, shook his head and -Punch Bowl sighed deeply. "The bounder!" he exclaimed. "Imagine! Blue suit and yellow shoes! Tsk-tsk Now I lay me down to sleep, And pray- the Lord my soul to keep; If I should die before I wake- Alrigbt for you, Jesus! Flame: What's the matter? Don't you love me any -Zip 'N Tang more.? Weak: Sure I do. I'm only resting. 7 -Sour Owl I 1; "Say, what was the big idea yesterday, walking down the street in a barrel? Are you a poker player?" "No, but the fellows I played with sure are." V ` C _ "I was at a place yesterday where you could walk for miles before you'd notice a human face." _ "Where was that?„ _ "At a nudist camp." She smiled ! 20 THE BATTALION 6ROADCA5T BRIVITIff By Howard Hu ff, nes z s 4; Finicky, funny Fred Allen and poor panned Port A land prostrate themselves before the mike on Wed- x A nesdays at eight, courtesy NBC. Pun pecked Peter Van Steeden pitches orchestral orchids over on our F, open ear drums, while the Mighty Allen Art Players force light, satyrical comedy sketches on our open and F demanding sensibilities. Eddie Cantor, pop-eyed peddler of popular and pithy puns, jokes and jousts his way gingerly in a word-fest with Jimmy Wallington every Sunday night over CBS at seven o'clock. Accompanied by that stooge of stooges, Parkyakakas, and the rollicking rythms of some good guest orchestra, Canto quips, misbehaves,< and soliloquizes in his old, familiar manner, famous to the screen and radio audiences. Thirty minutes well Bornice Clare, ~N in.;otne purvey- spent. or of melody, heard over CBS in 111 zwci~ l olnstocl., l,lundc con- "Lavender and Old Lace" on Tues- tralto from the South. CBS Variety days at eight P. M. and in "Medo- programs. diana" on Sundays at four o'clock. Fred Waring and his Pennsylvanians, assisted by Our favorite program, "Camel Caravan", starring Colonel Stoopnagle and Budd with their fool antics, Walter O'Keefe, comedian, and Deane Janis, vocalist, burn up the ether waves with their mirthful, mad, and and Glen Gray and his captivating Casa Loma Orches- melodic moments of merry music. Static is produced by tra, as usual is presented over CBS on Tuesdays and Thursdays at eight, with rebroadcasts at ten-thirty Stoopnagle and Budd by their aggravating and agitat- over the same system. For invigorating varieties and ing arguments on addle-headed arrays of schemes and elegantly entertaining qualities, this program can projects. Nerts to you, you, and you. All hisses mailed hardly be matched. Hold that tiger! to CBS with dimes enclosed. George Burns and Gracie Allen collect calamities "The Great American Tourist," program starring and are always arguing in their usual nutty way. Phil Baker, Beetle, and Bottle, comes over CBS every Gracie must have been dropped on her head when she was still a papoose. Your worries will begin on CBS Sunday evening from 6:30 to 7:00. Hal Kemp and his every Wednesday night a seven-thirty. orchestra provide the musical interludes. Nuts, nuts, and more nuts. Have some? Last but not least is "Hollywood Hotel", CBS fea- ture starring that cheerful chirp of a Dick Powell, and that fascinating, fiery, figure of femininity, Fran- The incomparable Lombardo rythms come to ces Langford, lovingly lauding us with hot harmony. soothe our weary, study-ridden brows every Monday All this, and more, cost only the tribulation of tuning evening at seven, presenting "Lombardo Road" featur- in every Friday night at eight over CBS. Included in ing the songs of prominent celebrities. The the program Friday night, Oct. 18, i sa guest perform- program ance by Kay Francis and Ian Hunter portraying scenes is a presentation of CBS. Lombardo may also be heard from their latest picture, "I Found Stella Parrish." every Thursday night at ten o'clock, and on Saturday Louella Parsons is, as always, mistress of ceremonies nights from 9:30 to 10:00. and exponent of Hollywood gossip. October 16, 1935 21 CORPS TRIP- STRANGER FOR BREAKFAST- (Continued from Page 11) (Continued from Page 12) slid the fraction of an inch closer to him, laying her many years. He went to the home of his aged and arm on his. Doff gazed in her face, a face of perfect poverty stricken parents and they did not know him. alabaster with rose petal lips and midnight cobweb He was wealthy and he thought it would be a great eyelashes to bring out the radiance of its oval white- surprise to them if he were to spend the night with uess. The rose petals drew closer. He kissed them. The them and disclose his identity in the morning. During cobwebs brushed his cheek. the night his father killed him and took his money, Somehow, that was the sacrement. To continue never suspecting it was his own son. farther with the game would shatter a newly built The stranger reproached himself for such horrible illusion of his before he had tasted half the joy of it. things as murder in bed. These were simple, honest He respected and loved her. mountain folk unaccustomed to visitors. He was just She lifted the cobwebs ever so slightly and watch- a curiosity. But why were they so hungry looking? ed his widened eyes. She enjoyed the lax, comfortable Surely there was enough to eat here in the mountains peace his confident but supremely gentle advances with wild game and all. brought. She would like to stay in this restful prox- He heard a sound in the adjacent room, whisper- imity forever. But who was he? What did she know ing. He listened. of him? What sort of a boy was he? She had known him "Maybe he ain't asleep yit," it was the woman's only an afternoon; perhaps this was merely his way. voice. Other words followed but he could not distin- All boys had ways; they nearly all wanted to take guish them. He turned over in bed. The woman heard everything and give nothing, and had ways of doing him. it. She must have proof before she trusted. What sort "I told ye," she whispered, faintly. The silence of a boy was he? that followed was endless. She slid her hand to his shoulder, pinched it, and "Why don't they go to bed," he wondered. "It's thence to the back of his neck. She moved her body late enough." closer to his. The warmth of it sped through her He lay quietly for a long time before he heard clothes. Doff half closed his eyes, half winced. Yes, that a sound. When he heard it, it was unmistakable. It was all it was. Pick-up. She was out for the evening's was the sound of a knife being whetted on a stone. entertainment, after all. And he had been sap enough He turned his head and saw the shadows on the wall. to start hanging golden threads from that silly bubble The shadow of a man was holding the shadow of a he had blown. She-expected it. Damn her. Damn her. knife and slowly sharpening it. He swept an arm behind her, clutched one side of A little chill went up his spine. He heard the the small of her back with his fingers, began pressing woman say, "Be quiet John, you'll wake him up. She them into her side, all the while tightening with his spoke again. "That's all we got to eat, you know, don't arm until her body was flattened against his. ye?„ She emitted a little gasp, freed herself. She could John made no comment. He was whetting more tell, now. It was that way, after all. He was-damn slowly now. Had the stranger the temerity to look him! He was just like the rest! She pulled away, set- he would have seen the shadow of a thumb test the tled herself in the corner, and talked aimlessly. He edge of the keen blade. was sullen and perplexed. She thought it was disap- The mountaineer lay down the whetstone. pointment and just the nasty temper of such natures. "I want to git this done," he muttered. i Finally they jabbered desperately of things neither "Quiet," the woman hissed. cared for one whit, and when his train time neared they were both immensely relieved. The gaunt mountaineer rose from his chair and At the parting, each promised the other corres- walked to the door of the stranger's chamber where he pondence and continued friendship, and each knew the stood silhouetted against the dim light behind him. He other was lying. had removed his shoes. In his great right hand he held the glittering knife. He tip-toed softly across the bare floor. A board creaked and he stopped abruptly. The stranger did not move. His heart was beating dangerously. From beneath closed eyelids he saw the; monster approach. Terror robbed him of his strength. I looked into his deep and glowing eyes. His lips He could not cry. were saying those three little words I had waited a The beast was at his bed. He leaned down and the lifetime to hear. I couldn't believe it, but it was true. stranger felt his hot breath. He muttered, "Sound Again he said, fulfilling the wonderful dream of my asleep," and quietly climbed the ladder to the loft life, "No French assignment." where he cut down a smoked ham that hung from a -Zipp 'N Tang rafter, for that's all there was for breakfast! 22 THE BATTALION FLICKER FLASHES "Is it true that Bill gambles something terrible?" by Howard Huffhines. "Absolutely not. Why, where did you ever hear of such a thing?" AT THE PALACE- "Oh, I heard Fanny say this morning that Bill Thursday, Friday, and Saturday: "She Married went out with her last night and won a home." Her Boss." -Tatler Preview Saturday night, Sunday, and Monday: "Accent on Youth." Brunette- "So you let him drive way out in the "Tuesday and Wednesday: "Bonnie Scotland." country and park, eh?" AT THE ASSEMBLY HALL- Blonde- "I did like fun." Friday night, October 18: Air Hawks." Brunette- "Yeah, that's my weakness, too." Wednesday night, October 23: "One New York -Pitt Panther Night." Claudette Colbert, winner of last year's Academy He- "My, my, but the grass looks fresh and green award, pops up again in a picture which does not ad- tonight." vance her popularity any more, and yet neither does She- "Yes, and the sky is beautiful, too." it harm her. Cast as an ambitious secretary angling -Laughter for the desirable position as side-kick, top-kick, and general manager of her boss' household, Claudette gives a credible performance. Highlights: when she The difference between finding a parked car be- goes on a tear and spanks her foster daughter and side the road in the daytime and finding one at night cleans up a heck-raising household, and when she and is that in the daytime the driver may need help. hubby Melvyn Douglas go on a spree and kick in all -Eavesdropper the windows in their department store. "She Married Her Boss" will suit you Colbert fans. The laziest man in the world is the one who takes One of those pictures which isn't true (we hope) his bride to a bridal suite in a Southern California but could perhaps be possible. "Air Hawks" stars Ralph hotel and waits for an earthquake. Bellamy, Tala Birell, and that great, unfortunate air- -Exchange man, Wiley Post. Exciting rivalry between two air- lines striving to obtain an important government mail contract. Fortunately, one employs backhand methods, "Did she enjoy her date with Billy Large last and our hero gets a chance to strut his stuff. As al- night?" ways, those zooming planes hold the center of interest. "She was never so embarrassed in her life. When Y-Cards will be good for the show. he started eating his soup, five couples got up and started dancing." "One New York Night" with Franchot Tone and -Rammer Jammer Una Merkel happens to be a first-rate light comedy picture. Tone has always played so many excellent parts as "the third stooge" that it is a relief to see He: Dearest, your stockings are wrinkled. him leading the cast in chis picture. Tone ranks with She: You brute! I haven't any on. Robert Montgomery as one of the "smoothest" actors -Siren in the business, and may be remembered for his acting in "Reek:ess," "Sadie McKee," and especially for "Liv- es of a Bengal Lancer." Una Merkel, co-star of the "Give me a match." picture, has been around Hollywood for quite some "Here 'tis." time, but has always been relegated to light parts, as "Can you beat it? I forgot my cigarettes." in "Biography of a Bachelor Girl" and "The Night is "Gimme back my match." Young." As an honest-to-goodness detective picture, -Rammer Jammer this offering is a fizz, but as comedy-well "The Crusades," a DeMille spectacle which has Freshman-I don't know. run on Broadway for the past eight weeks, is booked Sophomore-I am not prepared. for this vicinity sometime in the near future. Efforts Junior-I do not remember. are being made to induce DeMille to come to Texas to Senior-I don't believe I can add anything to what make a historical pagent of the Texas Centennial. has been said. Production would start next year. -Exchange October 16, 1935 23 EASY WAY T"-- MDP'T+1E PROTES TROM TALKING OVERTIME MINUTE HAND ON z CLOCK DA REACHES DISMISSAL TIME AO "l0 9/~Gj KNOCKING CANNON S, . BALL© OFF STAND i0 r FIRING GUN © WHICH FRIGHTENS MILKMAID WHO F DROPS MILK PAIL..' a. HUNGRY CAT 4 1L RUNS TO LAP UP zz; , zy2,z IS I MILK RELEASING ti, © 8/-4> r AXED WHICH CUTS \ J Q, eG9 e 9 BLA ROPE FREEING a~q * Q HOOD O WHICH DROPS OVER PROFESSOR'S HEAD AND BLINDS HIM._~ STUDENTS TAKE FEET OFF DESKS 1 4 AND SCRAM - Mya PRINCE ALBERT HAS EXTRA FLAVOR, - I !Iluunnmmmmmllmullalilmlu!uii, NCES OF PIPE JOY11 2 pU COMBINED WITH MILDNESS. a WHAT A SMOKE ! ITS PRINCE ALBERT YES, SIR, CRIMP-CUT -MILD, SMOOTH, TONGUE NE= BITES THERM TIN AND 2 OZ. IN EVE e GE L SMOKE I THE NATIONAL J W'--ton- • a• 1935, R. 1• Reynolds Tobacco Company. ` s! • Copyright. 24 THE BATTALION We are wishing the- , a r r v r CADET CORPS t rw ' _ x T -Success in Ft. Worth BLOUSES - SLACKS - SHIRTS Y UNIFORM TAILOR SHOP F 4 MENDL and HORNAK, North Gate DANCE TO THE RHYTHM s of Little Susie knows a girl whose idea of a strong, MACK ROGERS silent man is a halitosis victim who keeps his mouth and his shut. GUNTER HOTEL ORCHESTRA Meditation BRYAN COUNTRY CLUB I wandered lonely as a lamb FRIDAY, OCT. 18th That trims the campus green $1.25 Plus Tax 10 - 2 I walked agross the grass and damn Ran into a digging machine. I caught my pants on a barbed-wire fence, THERE AIN'T NO "JINX" I stumbled on a Baptist,- Then two Seniors, about to commence SMOTHER THE FROGS Discussing who was aptest. (The rabbit or the swan.) Let us get your uniform A cry of pain then rent the air in Top Shape for the Of five child bedded swans; Poor things, who had no midwife there CORPS TRIP (There'd been no published bans.) Next up and spake an eldern willow, AMERICAN STEAM LAUNDRY Virgin to the core. "No mate shall rest upon my pillow; Cleaners -Dyers -Hatters Life is just a bore." BRYAN TEXAS For years I've been in this situation, _ And never have I seen Such promiscuous procreation As recently there's been. HERE'S NEWS Robinson Crusoe should have had THE COLLEGE INN The Spirit of this place. In nothing flat he would have had Will Be Open An entirely new race. There's one thing, though that comforts me- ALL NIGHT FRIDAY Our plight's no worse than some (For t'would be twice as bad, you see) Come an anytime and meet your If the buffalo'd ever come. crowd-they will be there. More beer Please Located at North Gate Lady Edgar Rammer Jammer - - _ October 16, 1935 25 The Earmarks "So yer finally hurd from de collitch boy who took youse out." In Fort Worth Its- "Yah. And he's a real gent, he is. He asked me if W~IIMPYS I got home from the dance awl right." -Punch Bowl For Better Sandwiches "Paw?" And "Now what?" Your Favorite Beverages "Why didn't Noah swat both flies when he had such a good chance?" 7Th. AT LAMAft -Punch Bowl + - An absent minded professor on returning home ARMY LET'S TAKE THE FROGS was confronted by a new maid, and was politely in- Remember we have the second-hand Caps formed by the new servant, unaware of his identity, or Sam Brownes you'll need. that the professor was out. He therefore sat down to We Buy, Sell, and Loan Students Money wait for his return. -Siren STUDENT CO-OP Student Student Waiter: Tea or coffee? Owned Operated Soph : Let me guess which, don't tell me! Next to Mrs. Parkhill's -Siren - "What's a parasite?" "Search me." $3.65 -college Life (Round-trip Coaches) He: You're thinner. TO She: Yes, I've lost so much weight you can count FORT FORTH my ribs. F He: Gee, thanx ! TEXAS A. & M. vs T C U -Medley "Aggies" "Horned Frogs" "A squeak in a sofa," explains little Susie, "gen- Saturday, October 19, 1935 erally is caused by a little play." SPECIAL TRAINS Mother: So husband brutally struck ? Lv College Sta. 5:18 am 5:30 am 5:45 am Oct. 19th your Y You Lv Bryan 5:50 am Oct. 19th Wife: Yes, the contemptible brute knocked the Ar Ft. Worth 10:25 am 10:40 am 10:55 am Oct. 19th sash-weight right out of my hand. LT Ft. Worth 10:15 pm Oct. 19th -Exchange Ar Bryan 4:25 am Oct. 20th Ar College Station 4:54 am Oct. 20th 0 The aviator's daughter specialized in the take-off. Lv Ft. Worth 12:01 pm Oct. 20th Ar Bryan 5:10 pm Oct. 20t+h Ar College Station 5:15 pm Oct. 80th Pleasant to know, ° Gorgeous to see, Lv Ft. Worth 10:15 pm 11:59 pm Oct. 20th Ar Bryan 4:25 am 5:20 am Oct. 21st Heaven to kiss, Ar College Station 4:34 am 5:25 am Oct. 21st But not for me. The above schedules have been arranged for the Her lips are red, benefit of North Texas students who desire to return late Sunday night. Her eyes are blue, Her dress is black, BUY YOUR TICKETS EARLY , And she is too. Travel By Train in Comfort and Safety -Punch Bowl "Are they very strict at your College?" Guy Wilson W. W. Waugh "Huh! Are they? Why, when a man dies in a lec- Trav Pass Agt _ Agent ture there, they prop him up until the end of the hour." "A Sarvioe Institution" -Texas Ranger 26 THE BATTALION The customary "Births, Marriages, and Deaths," - was changed by a Missouri paper to "Hatched, Match- t Dr. A. Benhow 1 DR. W. H. BUCHANAN ed, and Snatched," says the St. Louis U. news. A Flor- ) Over Fir t State Bank i Chiropractor ida Journal offered as another variation, "Yells, Bells, Phones 24 Astin Building Knells." Office 2753 Res. 635 1 ! Bryan Bryan -Varieties :;.,~,~,..~„~~„_,~,.-,~.,-.•e.,_.,-.~.,-.~,-„-„_„-„-.: An explorer was speaking at a dinner given in SUBSCRIBE FOR YOUR HOME TOWN his honor before he left on a journey to Africa. In PAPER concluding his remarks he said: "I thank you for your kind wishes regarding my Star Telegram .............85¢ S. A. Light ._.._.....____.75¢ Dallas News .................85~ S. A. Express 750 welfare on my dangerous journey, and I want you to Houston Post .__._._.._......750 Waco Tribune 750 know that when I am far from you, surrounded by Houston Chronicle __._.754 Austin American .........75¢ ugly, grinning faceas, I shall always think of you." COLLEGE NEWS DEALERS "Fish" Williams - Rabbit McGrady - Raymond Rogers He: (twice nicked by razor) : "Hey, barber, gim- me a glass of water." _ Barbear: "Whassa matter, hair in your mouth?" It IS Truly Personal Charm He "Naw, just wanna sea if my neck leaks!" Y That makes your photograph such a WELCOME GIFT Tourist (in Yellowstone Park) : "Those Indians Sit early if you don't want to cause dis- have a blood-curdling yell." appointment. Guide: "Yes, ma'am; every one of 'em is a college AGGIELAND STUDIO graduate." First Baby- "I don't like that fussy old preacher Photographs of Distinction Kodak Finishing Picture Frames who is always bothering us when he calls on mother." North Gate of Campus Second Baby- "Neither do I, Oscar, and the next time he picks me up I'm gonna soak him." -Eavesdropper GREATER PALACE AGGIES! Welcome to Ft. Worth Thurs. - Fri. - Sat BIG COLLEGIATE DANCE CLAUDETTE COLBERT SATURDAY NIGHT in RICHARD COLE "SHE MARRIED HER BOSS" And His Orchestra "Every One Will Be There" Preview 11 P. M. Sat. Night THE BLACKSTONE Sylvia Sidney - Herbert Marshall Ft. Worth's Hotel of Distinction "ACCENT ON YOUTH" - - SERVICE Also Shown Sun. -Mon. With a Smile Sinclair Tues. -Wed Gas & Oils LAUREL- HARDY r AGGIELAND in Service Station » 0 BONNIE SCOTLAND" East of North Gate October 16, 1935 27 GIVE DENTISTRY Drs. Lawrence & York I /'WHEN l SMOKE GETS ood Courts) US A TRIAL 4 (Greenw PHONS Office 3485 Res 558 & 102 ! IN YOUR-EYES. A G G I E S i Bryan LA SALLE Barber Shop "My wife just ran away with my best friend." o~. In LaSalle Hotel "Was he good looking?" - "I don't know. I never o met the fellow." A!•Til[ -Pitt Panther .itN "This is the skull of a "Air Hawks" man who was shipwrecked with for two years on a desert Ralph Bellamy and Wiley island with two chorus Post girls." Friday after Yell Practice "How did he die?"~ Y Cards Good. "He wore himself out "One New York tearing down the signals they put up." TF the sour notes of that stewy old Night » -Red Cat 1 pipe make you gasp and gag, re- with mind the smoker that pipes-like Franehot Tone and Una Merkle pianos-have got to be kept tuned. Wednesday, October 23. Let him scrape out the bowl, ream out the stem, fill up with Sir Walter Raleigh Smoking Tobacco, and the MEXICAN pleasant aroma of clean Kentucky A man was walking by Burleys will fill the air. By hard SPECIALS a grave yard one evening work (and a little luck) we've found and heard a strange noise a blend that is noticeably milder to Tamales with Q5j Being a kind old gentleman the tongue and sweet music to the Chili, order uvC Chili with he sauntered over to find nose. It's kept fresh in heavy gold Frijoles 15C out what the trouble was foil. Try a tin and sing for joy. Enehilados, 25c and saw a man, weeping Brown & Williamson Tobacco Corporation order and tearing his hair, pros- Louisville, Kentucky. Dept.W-Sro Hard Tacos with trate upon a grave, sobbing, Lettuce Salad 15C "Oh, why did you die? Oh, ....FREE Chilaquiles why did you die?" BOOKLET tell., l,my to mak with Beans 15C r p~~ y .ar pipe tas taAtpe e j your e Pit Barbecue Beef or "What's the matter, TAKE CARE I be'N',. ,•r. Pork with Potato r r i ~ «Vritc for a e,,py. Salad my good man?" he asked. E - 35C Chicken Fried Steak But the poor man just with Cream Gravy, sobbed again and again, W-1 I. IL V/A 14 I Potato- Q _R 4cl UOC "Oh, why did you die? Oh,,~- # Fried Chicken why did you die?" - - ~~C Dinner "Who died?" asked the ' s E-TEX old gent. 11 SMOKINc0oBACCO SANDWICH The poor man raised FoH FiPE*sn IGARETTES his head with tears in his SHOP eyes and with broken voice r, B. W. Wiley, Owner answered "My wife's first ~ College Ave. at E. 27th husband." It S 15 O-AND IT'S MILDER J -Malteaser 28 THE BATTALIOT ON TO YOUR PHOTOGRAPH FORT WORTH AND VICTORY! Is Truly A Most Appropriate Gift From You CAMPUS GROCERY Come Visit Our New Studio «LUKE'S" SOSOLIK STUDIO Tobacco - Candy - Drinks (Over Exchange Store) NORTH GATE Eight Hour Service on Kodak Finishing She was only a farmer's daughter but she was "Is it easy to kiss Mary?" worth cultivating. "Like falling off a log." "Where'd you get the black eye?" "Let's have a friendly game of cards." "Fell off a log." "Naw. Let's play bridge." -College Lifi A FTER THE CORPS TRIP ATTENTION AGGIES! W will have plenty of time to make you one of our- Just What You Need SAM BROWNE BELTS ZIPPER HAND BAGS Have You Seen Them? $1.00 and $1.69 Each i J. F. HOLICK & SONS CAMPUS VARIETY STORE Makers of Fine Boots "All Your Incidentals" Since 1891 Location North Gate North Gate BEAT THOSE FROGS ~ooob / DON'T FORGET TO HAVE YOUR UNIFORM CLEANED FOR THE CORPS TRIP I c~ooot~ ' AT h YOUR CONVENIENT CLEANING PLANT 0=zaooomm:* Ire CAMPUS CLEANERS Over Exchange Store 1 ~Imdul~ull~luIIIIIIdIIIdllhumoa~WUIIIIIiIIIIIIIIIIIIUIIIIiIIIhIIiIIIIIIiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRfIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiIIIPlilllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII6,umuuiluulllltll~dllldlllllllldllllllllll!Illlllhlll~~~l!IiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllll1111111illllllllll CORPS TRIP In preparing for your Corps GIG those FROGS We are trip drop in on the Exchange behind you Aggies. Let's go - Store for those things you will after them like we meant i* need while away from college and when the gam toilet articles clothing 1 'gill is over the score will be in . . furnishings . . . shoes. 311 t6 i our favor. Our first and last interest is in giving a better value - -an improved commodity - - a more complete service to the Students and Faculty of the A. and M. College of Texas. THE EXCHANGE STORE "Official Store of the College" P.!I!!IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII,• ILVII,; li!L I!Illlloill! li gllhlllglllllllPlllPllll IIIIIIII ullillll IIWIII4,! Il llllllllllll bull IIII IIII I II I i„!IIII!IIJIIII II U q l I ql l IIII IIII I U Ills G/s'1 L Who closely scrutinized His income tax blank And then sent it back With the following notation: "I have given the matter careful thought And have decided not to jor t The Income Tax." ad to cigarettes z .o .re are no ifs ands or buts About Chesterfield Two words make everything clear n Ne, a spa N ~ ✓ e NS M~ ,F~ c S ~ o l OBP © 1935, Licca;~T \fM6 To13A4:C0 Co.